Corrupt a Wish: The Forum Game!

Wish granted. All sounds have been made awesome, however the level of awesomeness is always at the same frequency of awesomeness, so everything that once sounded awesome has been made lame and redundant due to an overdose of awesomeness.
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>Derailing the entire thread by just simply refusing play the game correctly
 
I wish I was the most talented (sfw only) drawfag in the world :)
 
Ok I wish for a million vbucks
Granted but your friend asks you to gift them every waking moment. Literally, and it doesn't matter if you get away from them cause they'll start stalking you, call the police and he'll just break out if jail again and keep doing so

I want all the troons that like the stuff I like to never touch it again and for those fanbases to become chudded beyond repair
 
Granted, ribbon says hi back but never leaves
She will be around you forever, circling overhead like a mosquito everywhere, including the bathroom
I wish for Broot to give his website to me
 
Granted, but after Broot hands the website over to you, an (((evil unknown source))) resurrects baby bot and DDoSes the website causing it go down for a few days, also the funding that would've otherwise gone to paying the website fees for that month has vanished, hijacked out of your bank account.
 
Granted, I wish for anything which causes a giant hammer to manifest out of thin air, standing straight and tall before falling like a thin plank of wood, the face of the hammer directs itself to exactly where you're standing, and you are brutually crushed by it.
 
Granted, but the "brutal crushing" doesn't actually kill you because the hammer falls like a thin plank of wood due to having the weight of one
I wish for ZOG to take over every single national and subnational government
 
Granted, but ZOG after seeing your posts on soyjak blog declare you a threat and party van you, you're now jailed
I wish I could get better at chess quicker
 
Granted. You get better at chess in 2 weeks but one of your opponents clitty leaks and shoves all the chess pieces down your anus.
I wish for a better graphics card
 
Granted, but it runs so hot that it makes your room uninhabitable once you power on your computer.
I wish for schlog peace.
 
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