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"You stole that one from Jerry Seinfeld!"
Meta Log
- Thread starter GemersonLakeAndPalmer
- Start date
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April 23rd, 2025: I woke up extra early today and the first thing I did was to continue powering through my homework that was due at 1:00pm. I made some progress with the dependencies being set up for the thing before I had to head over to the Catholic Center for men's breakfast. I got there a bit early before the place was even unlocked and had to wait outside until the priest came around and let me in, Seraphim came in a short time later and the priest had me work on the coffee and Seraphim on the scrambled eggs. Seraphim then says to me:
"I have a leather jacket that I could give you, a real one, because I noticed that yours is starting to rip!"
I replied:
"Yeah sure, that would be excellent!"
Mercurius then came in later and finally Mahdi while he was reading this print out of one of the letters by Nestorius to Saint Cyril of Alexandria, I wasn't sure which one but he talked about Nestorius being a Heretic. We ate the scrambled eggs and sausage patties and discussed Question 53 of the Summa Theologae and we pretty much cruised through it. Mercurius mentioned wanting to go to this one Serbian Orthodox church and Seraphim joked about how the church he was talking about was described as being super Serbian. I do some readings for the stuff and we ended up completing the discussion quite early. The engaged girl came in to sit in a different room for a while and on the way out I waived to her and she waved to me back. I then walked all the way back home and worked on my project until completion and then submitted it at 10:30am and the proceeded to play Terraria, I could have gone to the breakfast that Punk invited me to but I didn't want to scare them, so I played some more Terraria and then I went to my first class because I thought we had a quiz today, but we didn't, eventually I went home, took a nap, and then went back to my art class super early to finish my art project, the second person in was Hoxha and then Keleche, I completed my painting but I fucked up the blending. The first thing we did for our class was walk over to the collections and looked at a bunch of different accordian art books and stuff, some I liked:
But other art pieces I found disgusting and degenerate:
The second one reminded me of this image:
I remember for the postcards to the guys wife one, Ginger girl told me that I would really love it when I went over to look at it because she said it really subverted her expectations, I wasn't as surprised but I loved it regardless, we then went back and started on the critique of our art pieces, I got partnered up with Pinky and we talked about mine was first because it was all the way at the left, I complemented her on her clearly superior painting skills and she said she had been painting for a job ever since her sophomore year of high school and now she's a freshman in college. We then got to the critique of the paintings and I just felt myself getting grilled on mine. I then went home and had to deal with my roommate Enosh leaving a mess in the kitchen. I then finished up some of my German homework and then took a shower and went to bed.
Song of the Day: Private Idaho - The B-52's (1980)
"I have a leather jacket that I could give you, a real one, because I noticed that yours is starting to rip!"
I replied:
"Yeah sure, that would be excellent!"
Mercurius then came in later and finally Mahdi while he was reading this print out of one of the letters by Nestorius to Saint Cyril of Alexandria, I wasn't sure which one but he talked about Nestorius being a Heretic. We ate the scrambled eggs and sausage patties and discussed Question 53 of the Summa Theologae and we pretty much cruised through it. Mercurius mentioned wanting to go to this one Serbian Orthodox church and Seraphim joked about how the church he was talking about was described as being super Serbian. I do some readings for the stuff and we ended up completing the discussion quite early. The engaged girl came in to sit in a different room for a while and on the way out I waived to her and she waved to me back. I then walked all the way back home and worked on my project until completion and then submitted it at 10:30am and the proceeded to play Terraria, I could have gone to the breakfast that Punk invited me to but I didn't want to scare them, so I played some more Terraria and then I went to my first class because I thought we had a quiz today, but we didn't, eventually I went home, took a nap, and then went back to my art class super early to finish my art project, the second person in was Hoxha and then Keleche, I completed my painting but I fucked up the blending. The first thing we did for our class was walk over to the collections and looked at a bunch of different accordian art books and stuff, some I liked:
But other art pieces I found disgusting and degenerate:
The second one reminded me of this image:
I remember for the postcards to the guys wife one, Ginger girl told me that I would really love it when I went over to look at it because she said it really subverted her expectations, I wasn't as surprised but I loved it regardless, we then went back and started on the critique of our art pieces, I got partnered up with Pinky and we talked about mine was first because it was all the way at the left, I complemented her on her clearly superior painting skills and she said she had been painting for a job ever since her sophomore year of high school and now she's a freshman in college. We then got to the critique of the paintings and I just felt myself getting grilled on mine. I then went home and had to deal with my roommate Enosh leaving a mess in the kitchen. I then finished up some of my German homework and then took a shower and went to bed.
Song of the Day: Private Idaho - The B-52's (1980)
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Why are people suddenly interested in my blog?
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Schlog is in a lull, this is something to read
Your blog looks cool
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Thank you!
- Joined
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- 2,714
April 24th, 2025: Final day of classes for the week, I woke up at 8:00am and went down to the convenience store to buy some cereal for my breakfast, I ate that and then decided to walk to the coffee shop to work on my German homework there, I had the misfortune of overhearing the fat girl and the Asian girl who complained about short men asking her out talking about their misunderstanding of Christian theology (except for the rapture not being real) and the fat girl started talking about her experience with massive cocks and I wanted so badly to waterboard her in holy water, she talked about losing weight again but you could tell she's one of those fat girls who try to lose weight so that they can get even more attention from men than they already get. I started working on my German homework in class when I realized that it would require me to record myself speaking into the microphone so I just went back home and then recorded the stuff there, I stayed there for a bit until my group project group chat discussed getting together to work on the slides, so I went back and bought a donut to eat. The only person to show up at the time was the Nintendo fan and that was as I was leaving to go to my German class. I walked over there and did some partner discussion projects but at the end the teacher reminded us of the project where we had to interview a friend and I didn't really have any friends that I could interview. I then left and along the way I saw Macie talking loudly about something with her friend. I then said to her:
"Macie we can all hear you!"
And she replied to me:
"Oh hi Gemerson!"
I then walk to the building where I was going to be volunteering for the setup and I realized that I had some time to kill so I went to a nearby restaurant and bought a large pretzel and some cheese sauce for lunch and I ate it before heading up to the place to start setting up, I saw Asherah's boss and I talked with her a bit before I started with the propping up of the easel stands. A bit later none other than Asherah comes in and I say hi to her and she says hi back, but she ended up going with the other group of people opening up easel stands and saw her talking to her friends over there, I was getting kind of upset so I just took some deep breaths, a bit later she takes an empty cart that contained some easel stands over to my side just as we empty our cart so I go over to her and apologize for the pancake incident:
"Hey Asherah, I'm very sorry about the pancakes thing."
She replies:
"It's ok!"
"I thought that you found it weird and off-putting because of your reaction."
"No it was just that you jumpscared me by appearing at my work."
(Note, it mostly consists of lounging around, in the few times I have been to her workspace I have never seen her do actual work.)
"You told me where you worked!"
I then continued to work on putting the easel stands in their respective spots with Asherah nearby so I then strike up another conversation, but before that you need to know some definitions:
Manichaeism: A Gnostic belief system that believes in a dualistic cosmology of opposites, it's founder is the prophet Mani (April 216 AD - March 2nd, 274 AD) who proclaims that he is a prophet in the likes of Zoroaster, the Buddha, and Jesus. It combines a lot of elements of different religions and you can see why I call it "The first new age religion". It is currently extinct.
Mandaeism: A different Gnostic belief system that claims to be descended from John the Baptist, it stresses the importance of Baptism, which they perform very frequently, they claim to be the true followers of John the Baptist's teachings and that Jesus was actually a bad person (one, if not the only Gnostic religion to think so) and corrupted the faith. They are identified as the Sabeans from the Quran, they are first attested to have come about in c. 200 AD with Shlama beth Qidra being the first attested Mandaean priest, but could possibly be just slightly older than Christianity. They view the material world as a "Boring waiting room" according to TV Tropes. The only Gnostic group to exist into the modern era and are mostly found in Sweden because of the 2003 invasion of Iraq.
I said to Asherah:
"Wait are you still doing your research on the Cathars?"
I asked her.
"Oh no I'm not"
"Well I was going to get you a funny gift."
I then got my phone and looked up Against Heresies and then showed her an image of the book, she chuckled a bit.
"Well he mostly attacks Gnostic beliefs so I thought it would be fitting."
I explained.
"But there Gnostics are gone!"
She said, so I corrected her:
"No no no, the Mandaeans still exist today, they are the ones who claim to be the followers of John the Baptist and they're mostly in the Middle East."
"But weren't most Gnostics Manichaeans?"
"The Manichaeans are different from the Mandaeans, only one is still around. The Manichaeans are like the oldest 'new age religion'"
She didn't even get it.
"What are you talking about, they're Christian, not some new age religion."
"No, the Mandaeans believe Jesus was a false prophet."
"The Manichaeans worshiped Jesus!"
"Yeah but they aren't Christian."
After that she went to the other side of the room and put up easels so I started putting up easels on my side of the room, next was to put four clips on each of the easels, I got a bucket of clips from Asherah and she touched my hand and I flinched a bit. I put the clips on the easels pretty fast, a bit into it Khadija and I were working on the same row and converging in on each other, whereas I had the bucket, she was using her shirt as a pouch to hold them, I felt sad for her so I just gave her my bucket. I then went over to Asherah to tell her that I would be rooming with Quoc and she was kind of surprised, I told her that I thought it was an upgrade from my current roommate Enosh and she said I was completely understandable. The last part was numbering all the easel stands and Asherah partnered up with this other girl. I then talked to Asherah's boss and said that I had to leave for my lab and she replied:
"Oh no worries, we're just about done so we won't need any more help! And you're coming to the event tomorrow right?"
I replied:
"Absolutely!"
I then walked over to my lab and stayed there early, the teacher's assistant there was South Asian and there was the whole thing about the escalation of the conflict between India and Pakistan so i was tempted to ask him his thoughts on it but decided against it. Our lab was on pipes in C and I got done in like 30 minutes so I went back to the room for the event afterwards to see if they were still setting up but they were actually being honest. I then went over to the group project slides discussion meeting spot and I talked with Chappell for a bit and she discussed giving either the South Korean or I one of the two parts left. She talked about this love chain she was in at the bar she wanted to work at where her friend was crushing on this guy who was crushing on Chappell in turn, and the guy knows the girl likes her. Chappell had to leave for her job shortly afterwards so I then left after that. I saw Pen Guy on my way home and asked for some free pens and he was delighted to give me some. I then walked home and had a shot of Limoncello and hopped on the farms to post. I then made some lunch and Enosh went somewhere else as I then felt kind of bad and drank another shot of Limoncello, I gamed a bit more and then decided to go to this comedy event that Enosh was going to. At the event, there was this Black lady who was serving as an opener and her first act was her talking about how rich men would fly her coworkers out and she talked about wanting to go to Dubai, saying that:
"Miami wasn't enough for me, I'm tired of domestic soil."
I got so appalled at her degeneracy that I just walked home. When I got back home I asked the Catholic Center priest this question over text at 6:16pm:
>I heard a rumor that a Catholic Organization bought the [church near me] and the Catholic center would be moving into there
He replied at 6:19pm:
<It is true but the rumor is missing some details... We are in the process of it but it is not a done deal just yet.
>Ohh, I have never seen anybody go in there.
<They do most of their stuff on the weekends
<They are not closing but they will be looking for a new home more out in the suburbs.
I then decided to go on a walk, I made my way around to the place that a famous lolcow lived and took a picture with the pen and paper that Pen Guy gave me in front of his house but I could tell there was a light on. So I then walked up the street and as I was doing so, I saw this car part next to a parking meter and out comes the lolcow in question, I then went to the restaurant and ordered this custard blend thing that I loved as dessert and ate it all before walking back the way I came, I then decided to take a picture of his car because I couldn't believe it, but when I continued walking forward, I FOUND OUT HE WAS SITTING IN THE DRIVERS SEAT WHEN I TOOK THE PICTURE FROM BEHIND. I panicked and then took a long detour home before finally arriving back at home. I took a shower and then got out and drank a beer before completing this German reflection assignment I had and then went to sleep.
Song of the Day: Hold Back the Rain - Duran Duran (1982)
"Macie we can all hear you!"
And she replied to me:
"Oh hi Gemerson!"
I then walk to the building where I was going to be volunteering for the setup and I realized that I had some time to kill so I went to a nearby restaurant and bought a large pretzel and some cheese sauce for lunch and I ate it before heading up to the place to start setting up, I saw Asherah's boss and I talked with her a bit before I started with the propping up of the easel stands. A bit later none other than Asherah comes in and I say hi to her and she says hi back, but she ended up going with the other group of people opening up easel stands and saw her talking to her friends over there, I was getting kind of upset so I just took some deep breaths, a bit later she takes an empty cart that contained some easel stands over to my side just as we empty our cart so I go over to her and apologize for the pancake incident:
"Hey Asherah, I'm very sorry about the pancakes thing."
She replies:
"It's ok!"
"I thought that you found it weird and off-putting because of your reaction."
"No it was just that you jumpscared me by appearing at my work."
(Note, it mostly consists of lounging around, in the few times I have been to her workspace I have never seen her do actual work.)
"You told me where you worked!"
I then continued to work on putting the easel stands in their respective spots with Asherah nearby so I then strike up another conversation, but before that you need to know some definitions:
Manichaeism: A Gnostic belief system that believes in a dualistic cosmology of opposites, it's founder is the prophet Mani (April 216 AD - March 2nd, 274 AD) who proclaims that he is a prophet in the likes of Zoroaster, the Buddha, and Jesus. It combines a lot of elements of different religions and you can see why I call it "The first new age religion". It is currently extinct.
Mandaeism: A different Gnostic belief system that claims to be descended from John the Baptist, it stresses the importance of Baptism, which they perform very frequently, they claim to be the true followers of John the Baptist's teachings and that Jesus was actually a bad person (one, if not the only Gnostic religion to think so) and corrupted the faith. They are identified as the Sabeans from the Quran, they are first attested to have come about in c. 200 AD with Shlama beth Qidra being the first attested Mandaean priest, but could possibly be just slightly older than Christianity. They view the material world as a "Boring waiting room" according to TV Tropes. The only Gnostic group to exist into the modern era and are mostly found in Sweden because of the 2003 invasion of Iraq.
I said to Asherah:
"Wait are you still doing your research on the Cathars?"
I asked her.
"Oh no I'm not"
"Well I was going to get you a funny gift."
I then got my phone and looked up Against Heresies and then showed her an image of the book, she chuckled a bit.
"Well he mostly attacks Gnostic beliefs so I thought it would be fitting."
I explained.
"But there Gnostics are gone!"
She said, so I corrected her:
"No no no, the Mandaeans still exist today, they are the ones who claim to be the followers of John the Baptist and they're mostly in the Middle East."
"But weren't most Gnostics Manichaeans?"
"The Manichaeans are different from the Mandaeans, only one is still around. The Manichaeans are like the oldest 'new age religion'"
She didn't even get it.
"What are you talking about, they're Christian, not some new age religion."
"No, the Mandaeans believe Jesus was a false prophet."
"The Manichaeans worshiped Jesus!"
"Yeah but they aren't Christian."
After that she went to the other side of the room and put up easels so I started putting up easels on my side of the room, next was to put four clips on each of the easels, I got a bucket of clips from Asherah and she touched my hand and I flinched a bit. I put the clips on the easels pretty fast, a bit into it Khadija and I were working on the same row and converging in on each other, whereas I had the bucket, she was using her shirt as a pouch to hold them, I felt sad for her so I just gave her my bucket. I then went over to Asherah to tell her that I would be rooming with Quoc and she was kind of surprised, I told her that I thought it was an upgrade from my current roommate Enosh and she said I was completely understandable. The last part was numbering all the easel stands and Asherah partnered up with this other girl. I then talked to Asherah's boss and said that I had to leave for my lab and she replied:
"Oh no worries, we're just about done so we won't need any more help! And you're coming to the event tomorrow right?"
I replied:
"Absolutely!"
I then walked over to my lab and stayed there early, the teacher's assistant there was South Asian and there was the whole thing about the escalation of the conflict between India and Pakistan so i was tempted to ask him his thoughts on it but decided against it. Our lab was on pipes in C and I got done in like 30 minutes so I went back to the room for the event afterwards to see if they were still setting up but they were actually being honest. I then went over to the group project slides discussion meeting spot and I talked with Chappell for a bit and she discussed giving either the South Korean or I one of the two parts left. She talked about this love chain she was in at the bar she wanted to work at where her friend was crushing on this guy who was crushing on Chappell in turn, and the guy knows the girl likes her. Chappell had to leave for her job shortly afterwards so I then left after that. I saw Pen Guy on my way home and asked for some free pens and he was delighted to give me some. I then walked home and had a shot of Limoncello and hopped on the farms to post. I then made some lunch and Enosh went somewhere else as I then felt kind of bad and drank another shot of Limoncello, I gamed a bit more and then decided to go to this comedy event that Enosh was going to. At the event, there was this Black lady who was serving as an opener and her first act was her talking about how rich men would fly her coworkers out and she talked about wanting to go to Dubai, saying that:
"Miami wasn't enough for me, I'm tired of domestic soil."
I got so appalled at her degeneracy that I just walked home. When I got back home I asked the Catholic Center priest this question over text at 6:16pm:
>I heard a rumor that a Catholic Organization bought the [church near me] and the Catholic center would be moving into there
He replied at 6:19pm:
<It is true but the rumor is missing some details... We are in the process of it but it is not a done deal just yet.
>Ohh, I have never seen anybody go in there.
<They do most of their stuff on the weekends
<They are not closing but they will be looking for a new home more out in the suburbs.
I then decided to go on a walk, I made my way around to the place that a famous lolcow lived and took a picture with the pen and paper that Pen Guy gave me in front of his house but I could tell there was a light on. So I then walked up the street and as I was doing so, I saw this car part next to a parking meter and out comes the lolcow in question, I then went to the restaurant and ordered this custard blend thing that I loved as dessert and ate it all before walking back the way I came, I then decided to take a picture of his car because I couldn't believe it, but when I continued walking forward, I FOUND OUT HE WAS SITTING IN THE DRIVERS SEAT WHEN I TOOK THE PICTURE FROM BEHIND. I panicked and then took a long detour home before finally arriving back at home. I took a shower and then got out and drank a beer before completing this German reflection assignment I had and then went to sleep.
Song of the Day: Hold Back the Rain - Duran Duran (1982)
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2024
- Messages
- 2,714
April 25th, 2025: Really hectic day today. I woke up at 7:00am and found out that soyjak.blog was gone to my dismay, so I started off the day by posting my stuff from over there to here based off of what I have archived, I managed to get my April 20th, 2025 posts up to my April 22nd posts transcribed here but I was still missing part of my April 23rd post because I didn't archive page 62 of my blog before soyjak.blog had shut down, so I first finished my April 24th post and then I worked on recreating my April 23rd post until roughly 8:30am when it was roughly around the time I had to go to the big event that I was setting up for yesterday, I ended up getting there at 8:55am and I saw Asherah and her boss standing at the table and they both waived to me so I waived back. I went up to Asherah and said to her:
“What are you doing?”
She replied:
“I’m supposed to be giving out name tags for people presenting in the career fair.”
I saw that there was some name tags that were blank so I decided to write my name down on one but cross out the part that said presenter. Asherah did not like that at all.
“Dude I’m trying to do my job!”
She said with like one or two people waiting to grab their name tag while I was standing off to the side, I was pissed off at her:
“Dude, why are you acting like such an asshole to me, not even now but like in the past.”
And I just went away, I looked at the presentations for a bit before the guilt of lashing out at Asherah got to me and I went back to her, I tried to go to apologize to her the first time but I saw a friend with her who I knew was a friend because he was standing with Asherah and did not work with her. I went back inside and talked with this guy about his Zebrafish presentation. He talked about how it revolved around how adding Lego bricks into a Zebrafish’s fish tank resulted in increased cognitive ability and less anxiety in the fist (basically swimming around in circles in a fish tank when tested) and I finally went back out and went over to Asherah and apologized, she accepted my apology and then I went back in. My next presentation I saw was this old “friend” of mine presenting their thing on weather and climate change and I was internally furious at them but I managed to hold it back. I then walked around and encountered Elinor’s presentation and I addressed her by her full name (on the poster) and she managed to get my full first name right (but not my middle or last name) and she was super enthusiastic about her presentation even though I hardly knew what she was saying about anything until the end when I finally figured it out and it made sense what she was talking about. The next one I went to was a presentation about glazes. After the glazes one I then went to Khadija’s and she talked about hers quite a bit and we made some jokes about it, I told her about my familiarity with the topic from my internship I took. The next one I went to was this one on a hypothetical plan to stop binge drinking. At 10:49am I got a text saying:
<Hey do you want to serve for Mass again at noon? Get some more good practice in
I then stopped by Asherah’s place and asked her if she wanted me to grab her some lunch that they were serving because she was stuck at the booth but she passed. My final stop was one of Asherah’s friend’s that I had mentioned in a previous entry and he gave a good presentation while being fashionably dressed. I then left to head over to the Catholic center and arrived pretty early. When I got there I saw the engaged girl and this other guy in this room and I noticed the trashes were full so I asked them if they knew where the garbages and garbage bags were and the engaged girl showed me. I cleaned up a bit more and then went downstairs and god all dressed for mass. I did pretty well and the priest said that this was my best one yet except for bringing the water to clean the chalice just before receiving the Eucharist and also receiving the Eucharist on the tongue but not kneeling. I then cleaned up and walked back home to game some more. I packed up all sheets on my bed to bring it to the laundry to wash but the washer was half-flooded and a motor broke apparently so I brought it down for nothing. I wasn’t going to dinner tonight with Joseph because he told me he was out of town. So at 6:15pm I heated up leftovers for dinner and then walked over to the Catholic center to get picked up by the priest to go to the dance event. We get there and it feels kind of empty, the girls and guys (aka Seraphim, Markus, Mahdi, and I, but Gabriel was also there) just socialize separately. Mahdi was at one point having issues with getting his credit card to pay for the $5.00 ticket so I just gave him a 5 dollar bill and he thanked me. We eventually get called to square dance for our first round and end up partnering up with this girl I sort of knew from the Catholic center and Mahdi partnered up with Markus, after learning the basics and getting warmed up to socializing we then did a second round of dancing, I partnered up with a different woman I hardly knew while Mahdi and Markus were partnered up still. We got better at square dancing and then I had to leave after the second round to go to Dungeons and Dragons, I got to the library with 2 people there but it was locked so we then went to the dorms and I got put on as a guest for one of my players and we had to move multiple times to find a good spot, James didn’t show up because he was back home but 4 people in total showed up and I guided them through character creation for a while. I saw Lara and said hi to her and we wrapped up at 10:45pm so I could go home and take a shower, then finally go to sleep, but the events of the day really took a toll on me and I was debating if I should write Asherah’s boss an email apologizing for the incident today.
Song of the Day: Dancing Queen - ABBA (1974)
“What are you doing?”
She replied:
“I’m supposed to be giving out name tags for people presenting in the career fair.”
I saw that there was some name tags that were blank so I decided to write my name down on one but cross out the part that said presenter. Asherah did not like that at all.
“Dude I’m trying to do my job!”
She said with like one or two people waiting to grab their name tag while I was standing off to the side, I was pissed off at her:
“Dude, why are you acting like such an asshole to me, not even now but like in the past.”
And I just went away, I looked at the presentations for a bit before the guilt of lashing out at Asherah got to me and I went back to her, I tried to go to apologize to her the first time but I saw a friend with her who I knew was a friend because he was standing with Asherah and did not work with her. I went back inside and talked with this guy about his Zebrafish presentation. He talked about how it revolved around how adding Lego bricks into a Zebrafish’s fish tank resulted in increased cognitive ability and less anxiety in the fist (basically swimming around in circles in a fish tank when tested) and I finally went back out and went over to Asherah and apologized, she accepted my apology and then I went back in. My next presentation I saw was this old “friend” of mine presenting their thing on weather and climate change and I was internally furious at them but I managed to hold it back. I then walked around and encountered Elinor’s presentation and I addressed her by her full name (on the poster) and she managed to get my full first name right (but not my middle or last name) and she was super enthusiastic about her presentation even though I hardly knew what she was saying about anything until the end when I finally figured it out and it made sense what she was talking about. The next one I went to was a presentation about glazes. After the glazes one I then went to Khadija’s and she talked about hers quite a bit and we made some jokes about it, I told her about my familiarity with the topic from my internship I took. The next one I went to was this one on a hypothetical plan to stop binge drinking. At 10:49am I got a text saying:
<Hey do you want to serve for Mass again at noon? Get some more good practice in
I then stopped by Asherah’s place and asked her if she wanted me to grab her some lunch that they were serving because she was stuck at the booth but she passed. My final stop was one of Asherah’s friend’s that I had mentioned in a previous entry and he gave a good presentation while being fashionably dressed. I then left to head over to the Catholic center and arrived pretty early. When I got there I saw the engaged girl and this other guy in this room and I noticed the trashes were full so I asked them if they knew where the garbages and garbage bags were and the engaged girl showed me. I cleaned up a bit more and then went downstairs and god all dressed for mass. I did pretty well and the priest said that this was my best one yet except for bringing the water to clean the chalice just before receiving the Eucharist and also receiving the Eucharist on the tongue but not kneeling. I then cleaned up and walked back home to game some more. I packed up all sheets on my bed to bring it to the laundry to wash but the washer was half-flooded and a motor broke apparently so I brought it down for nothing. I wasn’t going to dinner tonight with Joseph because he told me he was out of town. So at 6:15pm I heated up leftovers for dinner and then walked over to the Catholic center to get picked up by the priest to go to the dance event. We get there and it feels kind of empty, the girls and guys (aka Seraphim, Markus, Mahdi, and I, but Gabriel was also there) just socialize separately. Mahdi was at one point having issues with getting his credit card to pay for the $5.00 ticket so I just gave him a 5 dollar bill and he thanked me. We eventually get called to square dance for our first round and end up partnering up with this girl I sort of knew from the Catholic center and Mahdi partnered up with Markus, after learning the basics and getting warmed up to socializing we then did a second round of dancing, I partnered up with a different woman I hardly knew while Mahdi and Markus were partnered up still. We got better at square dancing and then I had to leave after the second round to go to Dungeons and Dragons, I got to the library with 2 people there but it was locked so we then went to the dorms and I got put on as a guest for one of my players and we had to move multiple times to find a good spot, James didn’t show up because he was back home but 4 people in total showed up and I guided them through character creation for a while. I saw Lara and said hi to her and we wrapped up at 10:45pm so I could go home and take a shower, then finally go to sleep, but the events of the day really took a toll on me and I was debating if I should write Asherah’s boss an email apologizing for the incident today.
Song of the Day: Dancing Queen - ABBA (1974)
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2024
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- 2,714
April 26th, 2025: A really meh day today, I did wake up at 7:00am because of my alarm, I finished off my cereal for my breakfast and brewed some coffee, I was still racked by guilt from yesterday so I just decided to get it out of the way and I wrote Asherah’s boss an apology email saying:
>I need to apologize for acting both weird and rude to one of your employees during the [name of event] on Friday, April 25th while she was just trying to do her job.
I sent it at 8:15am and I had to remind myself throughout the day not to panic because she wasn’t going to open her email on a Saturday. I got dressed for work and then hopped on the bus and took it to work. I got to work a bit early and I looked at my task list and the weekly schedule to find out that Jesse finally found another person to work on Sundays until closing, I was so happy. I worked on my normal tasks for the day, saw Folsade and Biker talk about mushrooms at one point, talked with Sabrina and she talked about being let out of work early, and also talked to fAsherah, I told fAsherah what a lowcow is and she started laughing. Hoxha came into work at one point and we said hi to each other. For lunch I heated up some Mac n Cheese and found out soyjak.blog was finally back up, so I posted some of my blog entries on there. I remember seeing Mr. Medici even when the original owner wasn’t there, Old Ozzy Osborne I saw getting coffee a bit later on. I had sadly re-installed dating apps but I had gotten a match that went to the same college as me, she told me about working on campus at a job and was earning $11.90 an hour because she got some raises, I asked how much and she said they were only 20 cents at maximum twice per year. I said hi to Lebanon a few times. At one point near closing I heard Matt say in a high pitched voice:
“Hi Gemerson!”
With two other people laughing, I looked around the glass display to see him hiding behind it and I could tell he was expecting me to look through the glass to see him. I found it quite funny to be honest. While I was working on beverages I accidentally knocked over a 6 pack of glass bottles and had to sweep up the glass and then mop it up, but Jesse helped with the mopping and told me I could take the 2 bottles that weren’t broken, I tried to open one to no avail. I then got started on closings and thought it would be nice to give one to fAsherah. I took the bus home and once I got home I had to call Enosh to ask him to let me in, he did thankfully. I tried opening the bottle with the can opener in my Swiss Army knife and it just pierced the metal instead of getting it off, I just drank it like that and then went on a long walk. I thought I was getting followed by this guy walking his dog at one point so I went into this alleyway and then started running loudly down it and then walked quietly to throw him off that my house was in that alley. Looking back on that I don’t actually think he was following me. I went to the convenience store and got some mint chocolate chip ice cream and I saw that the cashier didn’t look to be so happy so I decided to be extra nice to them and they got a bit happier. I went home and got myself a bowl of ice cream and then cleaned up my room a bit before going to sleep.
Song of the Day: The Passenger - Siouxie and the Banshees (1987)
>I need to apologize for acting both weird and rude to one of your employees during the [name of event] on Friday, April 25th while she was just trying to do her job.
I sent it at 8:15am and I had to remind myself throughout the day not to panic because she wasn’t going to open her email on a Saturday. I got dressed for work and then hopped on the bus and took it to work. I got to work a bit early and I looked at my task list and the weekly schedule to find out that Jesse finally found another person to work on Sundays until closing, I was so happy. I worked on my normal tasks for the day, saw Folsade and Biker talk about mushrooms at one point, talked with Sabrina and she talked about being let out of work early, and also talked to fAsherah, I told fAsherah what a lowcow is and she started laughing. Hoxha came into work at one point and we said hi to each other. For lunch I heated up some Mac n Cheese and found out soyjak.blog was finally back up, so I posted some of my blog entries on there. I remember seeing Mr. Medici even when the original owner wasn’t there, Old Ozzy Osborne I saw getting coffee a bit later on. I had sadly re-installed dating apps but I had gotten a match that went to the same college as me, she told me about working on campus at a job and was earning $11.90 an hour because she got some raises, I asked how much and she said they were only 20 cents at maximum twice per year. I said hi to Lebanon a few times. At one point near closing I heard Matt say in a high pitched voice:
“Hi Gemerson!”
With two other people laughing, I looked around the glass display to see him hiding behind it and I could tell he was expecting me to look through the glass to see him. I found it quite funny to be honest. While I was working on beverages I accidentally knocked over a 6 pack of glass bottles and had to sweep up the glass and then mop it up, but Jesse helped with the mopping and told me I could take the 2 bottles that weren’t broken, I tried to open one to no avail. I then got started on closings and thought it would be nice to give one to fAsherah. I took the bus home and once I got home I had to call Enosh to ask him to let me in, he did thankfully. I tried opening the bottle with the can opener in my Swiss Army knife and it just pierced the metal instead of getting it off, I just drank it like that and then went on a long walk. I thought I was getting followed by this guy walking his dog at one point so I went into this alleyway and then started running loudly down it and then walked quietly to throw him off that my house was in that alley. Looking back on that I don’t actually think he was following me. I went to the convenience store and got some mint chocolate chip ice cream and I saw that the cashier didn’t look to be so happy so I decided to be extra nice to them and they got a bit happier. I went home and got myself a bowl of ice cream and then cleaned up my room a bit before going to sleep.
Song of the Day: The Passenger - Siouxie and the Banshees (1987)
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- Mar 2, 2024
- Messages
- 2,714
I can't edit my own blog posts anymore...
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2024
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April 27th, 2025: Work for me today, I woke up and made some soft boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, for the eggs I grabbed two of my shot glasses at random to see which ones I would get, I grabbed the Indiana one and the Michigan one and then because I didn't have any jam, I put peanut butter on my toast. I then got on the bus and took it to work, I saw my new hire and he looked pretty Brazilian and seemed friendly, I got a walkie-talkie from Jesse and he told me that there was an issue with it that fAsherah told him about. I saw fAsherah early on and pointed to her and she pointed to me until we were so close that our fingers were less than an inch from each other's faces, she then touched my nose and I backed off, she told me:
"Agressor!"
I replied with:
"You touched my nose first!"
She exclaimed:
"You're a coward"
We both laughed. I then powered through mosts of my tasks, I saw this one woman hugging her husband from behind while I was stocking the shelves. When I went to empty the cardboard for the bakery becuase theirs was getting full, I got told:
"Thank you Gemerson!"
by two of the different bakery workers which made me feel happier. I continued doing stuff around the store with my tasks until it came time for my lunch break. I remember sitting in the break room while fAsherah and Mr. Blundstones were also on their break. fAsherah talked about her step dad and the cats that she had but I just sat there eating my lunch that I had to pay for all by myself because the original owner is still on vacation. I then went back to work with my next task being to make a pull list for a portion of the house, my printout ended up being 2 pages long and Jesse made a bet with me that I wouldn't be able to find more than a third of the items on the list, I accepted his bet and then went looking around for all the items I could. There was 60 items on the list and I ended up finding 24 so I won the bet for a grand total of 0 dollars and 0 cents as compensation. All I got was the text:
<Thanks!
I then went down and put all of the stuff on the shelf. I still felt anxious about my email I sent to Asherah's boss but I kept having to remind myself that she wasn't going to read it on a Sunday. I got a call from Chappell later on in the day in our groupchat but the South Korean and I were both at work and we had to remind her that. I went on my second break and sat with fAsherah and told her all about the lolcow that I was referencing, she found it quite fascinating and told me that her uncle was a judge and that she had experiences with a lot of men similar to the lolcow growing up in this tiny ass town. I had to complete my final task for the day once my break ended, and I still had a bunch of time left so I decided to start chilling out and then I got started on my closing tasks and then left. I saw the other employee was still finishing his tasks, but when I got on the bus at 5:00pm, I saw this girl that I knew from college, she turned 31 on December 31st of last year and we talked a bit, I got home and then got dressed for church to see Enosh making dinner but he said it would take multiple hours. I got to church and talked with Joseph, Raphael and Lucas were servers and Raphaela was there, I went downstairs afterwards for the cafe thing and talked to Isaiah a bit and found out he did a lot of cooking ever since he was 7 years old. I then walked home to find an absolute mess in the kitchen. I was pissed off, but I worked on the presentation that was due tonight while Chappell was being absolutely unclear on what I had to do and was yelling at the South Korean, she seemed to favor me more and I had to stay up until I got this text:
<Also it's fine gemerson it'll be quicker for me to just cite my images. Get some sleep I'll be up.
I heeded her command and went to sleep.
Song of the Day: Precious and Grace - ZZ Top (1973)
"Agressor!"
I replied with:
"You touched my nose first!"
She exclaimed:
"You're a coward"
We both laughed. I then powered through mosts of my tasks, I saw this one woman hugging her husband from behind while I was stocking the shelves. When I went to empty the cardboard for the bakery becuase theirs was getting full, I got told:
"Thank you Gemerson!"
by two of the different bakery workers which made me feel happier. I continued doing stuff around the store with my tasks until it came time for my lunch break. I remember sitting in the break room while fAsherah and Mr. Blundstones were also on their break. fAsherah talked about her step dad and the cats that she had but I just sat there eating my lunch that I had to pay for all by myself because the original owner is still on vacation. I then went back to work with my next task being to make a pull list for a portion of the house, my printout ended up being 2 pages long and Jesse made a bet with me that I wouldn't be able to find more than a third of the items on the list, I accepted his bet and then went looking around for all the items I could. There was 60 items on the list and I ended up finding 24 so I won the bet for a grand total of 0 dollars and 0 cents as compensation. All I got was the text:
<Thanks!
I then went down and put all of the stuff on the shelf. I still felt anxious about my email I sent to Asherah's boss but I kept having to remind myself that she wasn't going to read it on a Sunday. I got a call from Chappell later on in the day in our groupchat but the South Korean and I were both at work and we had to remind her that. I went on my second break and sat with fAsherah and told her all about the lolcow that I was referencing, she found it quite fascinating and told me that her uncle was a judge and that she had experiences with a lot of men similar to the lolcow growing up in this tiny ass town. I had to complete my final task for the day once my break ended, and I still had a bunch of time left so I decided to start chilling out and then I got started on my closing tasks and then left. I saw the other employee was still finishing his tasks, but when I got on the bus at 5:00pm, I saw this girl that I knew from college, she turned 31 on December 31st of last year and we talked a bit, I got home and then got dressed for church to see Enosh making dinner but he said it would take multiple hours. I got to church and talked with Joseph, Raphael and Lucas were servers and Raphaela was there, I went downstairs afterwards for the cafe thing and talked to Isaiah a bit and found out he did a lot of cooking ever since he was 7 years old. I then walked home to find an absolute mess in the kitchen. I was pissed off, but I worked on the presentation that was due tonight while Chappell was being absolutely unclear on what I had to do and was yelling at the South Korean, she seemed to favor me more and I had to stay up until I got this text:
<Also it's fine gemerson it'll be quicker for me to just cite my images. Get some sleep I'll be up.
I heeded her command and went to sleep.
Song of the Day: Precious and Grace - ZZ Top (1973)
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- Mar 2, 2024
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- 2,714
It’s Asherah
do i have to read every page in this thread to understand this
Last edited:
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No, just search up Asherah. Much easier.
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April 28th, 2025: Holy fucking cannoli I was woken up at 1:04am because Chappell called me to complain about her issues with the South Korean not understanding his part in the group assignment. It lasted 10 minutes and she nearly broke down crying multiple times, I had to console her a few times and then try to get back to sleep. I finally woke up at a normal time and worked more on the presentation until I decided to walk over to this place that had pancakes, eggs, and bacon as a part of a $6.99 deal, I asked for sunny side up eggs with my deal but the girl at the counter said they only did scrambled. I took that and then paid and went outside. I managed to negotiate with the girl I was going to go on a date with to meet up at 3:15pm. I then went home and completed the Machine Learning class quiz I had due at 1:00pm at 10:00am. I then had a phone interview for this defense company at 10:30am. It went well and they wanted to continue with me but I would have to drive 40 minutes in 1 direction in order to get to work, which meant begging my parents for access to one of their cars. I walked to the library to study there, I then went to my first class and there was one route that I was scared to take so I went the alternate route, I saw a friend of mine along the way and waived to him but he just looked at me scared so I just took the other route. and and just tried to distract myself, but at 1:01pm I got a reply back from Asherah’s boss saying:
<Thanks, Gemerson. It is a difficult day for us all to keep up with everything that is happening.
<Thank you again for your help setting up! I'm going to send a thank you to the full group later today.
So I just did all that worrying for a generic half-thought out email. I slogged through the test. I then went home and chilled out for a bit. I finally went to my date but she said that she was going to be a bit late. She said she was outside but I didn’t see her after a while so I walked around until I eventually found her and we went into a shop to get energy drinks. When we got in the shop I asked her:
“Do you want anything?”
She replied:
“No I’m fine.”
I then said:
“I’ll pay!”
She was still not happy:
“I’m fine!”
We then went upstairs and talked a bit, I had a half a can of beer, I managed to clutch it and she talked about her aunt trying to kidnap her from her mom because she only had 2 sons and wanted a daughter. She was from the Sheboygan area and had 2 siblings and 5 step-siblings on her dad’s side. At 3:55pm I had to get up to throw my can of Monster energy away and she suddenly got a call from her friend about an emergency and had to go (although she did say she had to end the date at 4:00pm) and we said goodbye. I then sent her this message on Snapchat:
>I had a good time on the date!
I went home and packed up for art class. I noticed her Snap score go up a few times, when I got into the art class the tables were all arranged to be 3 big tables. The teacher showed us this presentation on our final art piece and I noticed that I was the only one sitting in the middle table which made me feel worse. I just kept zoning out during the entire thing because I just hated myself. I wanted to leave at 5:30pm because I didn’t have any reason to stay when I felt like shit. But at 5:30pm the oldest guy in the class came in and sat next to me so I felt better and valued as a person. At 5:33pm I got a Snapchat message from the girl I went on a date with saying:
<I’m sorry I had to leave so soon. My friend called me with an emergency. I also had a good time
I replied with:
>Apology accepted
I was just spacing out throughout the art class and Ginger girl and her friend talking was really getting on my fucking nerves. At one point the teacher thought I was stuck so I just lied and said yeah. The art critique happened with Hoxha, Keleche, Pinky and the others and I was just zoning out then. I went home and found out that Angeleno had a new phone number because he texted me on it. I had a call with my mom where I explained why I wasn’t feeling so good and the whole issue with the time Asherah talked to James the Lesser directly about him being creepy towards her but she never directly told me how she views me and kept leaving me on the edge. My mom gave me some generic bullshit along the lines of:
“Nobody owes you an explanation!”
Which was actually just an attempt by the normies to shame me for desiring to be treated as an equal to them instead of bearing my pariah-marked status. I got so mad I just hung up mid conversation and turned on my Do Not Disturb so I couldn’t get notifications for her texts, I just browsed Instagram for a minute and then saw her texts and we had this conversation:
<Hey call me back
>I geniunely hate the way my former “friends” treat me so fucking much, I haven’t been invited out to anything but I used to and it’s making me super upset, plus I just want a concrete answer from Asherah if she even tolerates me or not. I hate how I’m just cursed and trapped in a cycle I can not escape.
<Is that what you told the therapist? That you feel like you keep having the same friend issue again and again?
>Not really. But I just hate living with a broken social contract where I’m punished for every minor transgression yet people are free to treat me like they want to without reprecussion.
<Why do you think you're being punished?
>Every single fuck up just makes my “friends” hate me more and they don’t even like me.
<What do you consider a 'fuck' up?
>Like a social faux pass, saying something wierd or hanging out too long with a ‘friend’
<Did you ever consider telling people that you're autistic and you have difficulties with relationships? Or ask them to tell you when you've gone overboard?
>A lot of people know, mostly indirectly but sometimes I directly told them. It doesn’t work, I kind of got mad at Asherah during the event she was at on Friday and I immediately regreted it afterwards and apologized to her. I also wrote her boss an apology email but you could tell in the way she wrote back she didn’t really care at all.
<Are you talking about these frustrations with your therapist?
>I haven’t had the opportuinity yet but I will tomorrow.
<Good, describe to her the situations that you find yourself. Ask her about coping strategies.
>I know she’s gonna suggest just asking any friend to hang out but I know it wont ever accept or just blow me off.
<Then push the discussion back to the core issues of what you think you want to work on.
<Maybe it's not in making friends, but in keeping friends. Is that it?
>I have already lost them all, I can’t make them re-appear.
<The intention is to learn from your past and give you the tools to go forward. Have you signed up for that adult autism group?
>I don’t have the time available for the group.
<It's On-line.
She then sent me the link for it at 7:00pm tomorrow
<Tomorrow night. Got any plans?
>Registered!
<Yay!
<Call me Wednesday night and let me know how it went. I love you Good night!
>Ok!!!
After taking a shower I then decided to post this image of Saint Michael the Archangel on my Instagram story just expecting people to realize something was wrong, to be precise:
And so I posted it, after 5 minutes I got a notification that none other than Asherah herself liked it so I sent a screenshot of that with the message:
>Context?
She saw it an hour later and unliked it so I just felt super demotivated. Ithen went to sleep.
Song of the Day: The White Arcades - Harold Budd (1988)
<Thanks, Gemerson. It is a difficult day for us all to keep up with everything that is happening.
<Thank you again for your help setting up! I'm going to send a thank you to the full group later today.
So I just did all that worrying for a generic half-thought out email. I slogged through the test. I then went home and chilled out for a bit. I finally went to my date but she said that she was going to be a bit late. She said she was outside but I didn’t see her after a while so I walked around until I eventually found her and we went into a shop to get energy drinks. When we got in the shop I asked her:
“Do you want anything?”
She replied:
“No I’m fine.”
I then said:
“I’ll pay!”
She was still not happy:
“I’m fine!”
We then went upstairs and talked a bit, I had a half a can of beer, I managed to clutch it and she talked about her aunt trying to kidnap her from her mom because she only had 2 sons and wanted a daughter. She was from the Sheboygan area and had 2 siblings and 5 step-siblings on her dad’s side. At 3:55pm I had to get up to throw my can of Monster energy away and she suddenly got a call from her friend about an emergency and had to go (although she did say she had to end the date at 4:00pm) and we said goodbye. I then sent her this message on Snapchat:
>I had a good time on the date!
I went home and packed up for art class. I noticed her Snap score go up a few times, when I got into the art class the tables were all arranged to be 3 big tables. The teacher showed us this presentation on our final art piece and I noticed that I was the only one sitting in the middle table which made me feel worse. I just kept zoning out during the entire thing because I just hated myself. I wanted to leave at 5:30pm because I didn’t have any reason to stay when I felt like shit. But at 5:30pm the oldest guy in the class came in and sat next to me so I felt better and valued as a person. At 5:33pm I got a Snapchat message from the girl I went on a date with saying:
<I’m sorry I had to leave so soon. My friend called me with an emergency. I also had a good time
I replied with:
>Apology accepted
I was just spacing out throughout the art class and Ginger girl and her friend talking was really getting on my fucking nerves. At one point the teacher thought I was stuck so I just lied and said yeah. The art critique happened with Hoxha, Keleche, Pinky and the others and I was just zoning out then. I went home and found out that Angeleno had a new phone number because he texted me on it. I had a call with my mom where I explained why I wasn’t feeling so good and the whole issue with the time Asherah talked to James the Lesser directly about him being creepy towards her but she never directly told me how she views me and kept leaving me on the edge. My mom gave me some generic bullshit along the lines of:
“Nobody owes you an explanation!”
Which was actually just an attempt by the normies to shame me for desiring to be treated as an equal to them instead of bearing my pariah-marked status. I got so mad I just hung up mid conversation and turned on my Do Not Disturb so I couldn’t get notifications for her texts, I just browsed Instagram for a minute and then saw her texts and we had this conversation:
<Hey call me back
>I geniunely hate the way my former “friends” treat me so fucking much, I haven’t been invited out to anything but I used to and it’s making me super upset, plus I just want a concrete answer from Asherah if she even tolerates me or not. I hate how I’m just cursed and trapped in a cycle I can not escape.
<Is that what you told the therapist? That you feel like you keep having the same friend issue again and again?
>Not really. But I just hate living with a broken social contract where I’m punished for every minor transgression yet people are free to treat me like they want to without reprecussion.
<Why do you think you're being punished?
>Every single fuck up just makes my “friends” hate me more and they don’t even like me.
<What do you consider a 'fuck' up?
>Like a social faux pass, saying something wierd or hanging out too long with a ‘friend’
<Did you ever consider telling people that you're autistic and you have difficulties with relationships? Or ask them to tell you when you've gone overboard?
>A lot of people know, mostly indirectly but sometimes I directly told them. It doesn’t work, I kind of got mad at Asherah during the event she was at on Friday and I immediately regreted it afterwards and apologized to her. I also wrote her boss an apology email but you could tell in the way she wrote back she didn’t really care at all.
<Are you talking about these frustrations with your therapist?
>I haven’t had the opportuinity yet but I will tomorrow.
<Good, describe to her the situations that you find yourself. Ask her about coping strategies.
>I know she’s gonna suggest just asking any friend to hang out but I know it wont ever accept or just blow me off.
<Then push the discussion back to the core issues of what you think you want to work on.
<Maybe it's not in making friends, but in keeping friends. Is that it?
>I have already lost them all, I can’t make them re-appear.
<The intention is to learn from your past and give you the tools to go forward. Have you signed up for that adult autism group?
>I don’t have the time available for the group.
<It's On-line.
She then sent me the link for it at 7:00pm tomorrow
<Tomorrow night. Got any plans?
>Registered!
<Yay!
<Call me Wednesday night and let me know how it went. I love you Good night!
>Ok!!!
After taking a shower I then decided to post this image of Saint Michael the Archangel on my Instagram story just expecting people to realize something was wrong, to be precise:
And so I posted it, after 5 minutes I got a notification that none other than Asherah herself liked it so I sent a screenshot of that with the message:
>Context?
She saw it an hour later and unliked it so I just felt super demotivated. Ithen went to sleep.
Song of the Day: The White Arcades - Harold Budd (1988)
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April 28th, 2025: Holy fucking cannoli I was woken up at 1:04am because Chappell called me to complain about her issues with the South Korean not understanding his part in the group assignment. It lasted 10 minutes and she nearly broke down crying multiple times, I had to console her a few times and then try to get back to sleep. I finally woke up at a normal time and worked more on the presentation until I decided to walk over to this place that had pancakes, eggs, and bacon as a part of a $6.99 deal, I asked for sunny side up eggs with my deal but the girl at the counter said they only did scrambled. I took that and then paid and went outside. I managed to negotiate with the girl I was going to go on a date with to meet up at 3:15pm. I then went home and completed the Machine Learning class quiz I had due at 1:00pm at 10:00am. I then had a phone interview for this defense company at 10:30am. It went well and they wanted to continue with me but I would have to drive 40 minutes in 1 direction in order to get to work, which meant begging my parents for access to one of their cars. I walked to the library to study there, I then went to my first class and there was one route that I was scared to take so I went the alternate route, I saw a friend of mine along the way and waived to him but he just looked at me scared so I just took the other route. and and just tried to distract myself, but at 1:01pm I got a reply back from Asherah’s boss saying:
<Thanks, Gemerson. It is a difficult day for us all to keep up with everything that is happening.
<Thank you again for your help setting up! I'm going to send a thank you to the full group later today.
So I just did all that worrying for a generic half-thought out email. I slogged through the test. I then went home and chilled out for a bit. I finally went to my date but she said that she was going to be a bit late. She said she was outside but I didn’t see her after a while so I walked around until I eventually found her and we went into a shop to get energy drinks. When we got in the shop I asked her:
“Do you want anything?”
She replied:
“No I’m fine.”
I then said:
“I’ll pay!”
She was still not happy:
“I’m fine!”
We then went upstairs and talked a bit, I had a half a can of beer, I managed to clutch it and she talked about her aunt trying to kidnap her from her mom because she only had 2 sons and wanted a daughter. She was from the Sheboygan area and had 2 siblings and 5 step-siblings on her dad’s side. At 3:55pm I had to get up to throw my can of Monster energy away and she suddenly got a call from her friend about an emergency and had to go (although she did say she had to end the date at 4:00pm) and we said goodbye. I then sent her this message on Snapchat:
>I had a good time on the date!
I went home and packed up for art class. I noticed her Snap score go up a few times, when I got into the art class the tables were all arranged to be 3 big tables. The teacher showed us this presentation on our final art piece and I noticed that I was the only one sitting in the middle table which made me feel worse. I just kept zoning out during the entire thing because I just hated myself. I wanted to leave at 5:30pm because I didn’t have any reason to stay when I felt like shit. But at 5:30pm the oldest guy in the class came in and sat next to me so I felt better and valued as a person. At 5:33pm I got a Snapchat message from the girl I went on a date with saying:
<I’m sorry I had to leave so soon. My friend called me with an emergency. I also had a good time
I replied with:
>Apology accepted
I was just spacing out throughout the art class and Ginger girl and her friend talking was really getting on my fucking nerves. At one point the teacher thought I was stuck so I just lied and said yeah. The art critique happened with Hoxha, Keleche, Pinky and the others and I was just zoning out then. I went home and had a call with my mom where I explained why I wasn’t feeling so good and the whole issue with the time Asherah talked to James the Lesser directly about him being creepy towards her but she never directly told me how she views me and kept leaving me on the edge. My mom gave me some generic bullshit along the lines of:
“Nobody owes you an explanation!”
Which was actually just an attempt by the normies to shame me for desiring to be treated as an equal to them instead of bearing my pariah-marked status. I got so mad I just hung up mid conversation and turned on my Do Not Disturb so I couldn’t get notifications for her texts, I just browsed Instagram for a minute and then saw her texts and we had this conversation:
<Hey call me back
>I geniunely hate the way my former “friends” treat me so fucking much, I haven’t been invited out to anything but I used to and it’s making me super upset, plus I just want a concrete answer from Asherah if she even tolerates me or not. I hate how I’m just cursed and trapped in a cycle I can not escape.
<Is that what you told the therapist? That you feel like you keep having the same friend issue again and again?
>Not really. But I just hate living with a broken social contract where I’m punished for every minor transgression yet people are free to treat me like they want to without reprecussion.
<Why do you think you're being punished?
>Every single fuck up just makes my “friends” hate me more and they don’t even like me.
<What do you consider a 'fuck' up?
>Like a social faux pass, saying something wierd or hanging out too long with a ‘friend’
<Did you ever consider telling people that you're autistic and you have difficulties with relationships? Or ask them to tell you when you've gone overboard?
>A lot of people know, mostly indirectly but sometimes I directly told them. It doesn’t work, I kind of got mad at Asherah during the event she was at on Friday and I immediately regreted it afterwards and apologized to her. I also wrote her boss an apology email but you could tell in the way she wrote back she didn’t really care at all.
<Are you talking about these frustrations with your therapist?
>I haven’t had the opportuinity yet but I will tomorrow.
<Good, describe to her the situations that you find yourself. Ask her about coping strategies.
>I know she’s gonna suggest just asking any friend to hang out but I know it wont ever accept or just blow me off.
<Then push the discussion back to the core issues of what you think you want to work on.
<Maybe it's not in making friends, but in keeping friends. Is that it?
>I have already lost them all, I can’t make them re-appear.
<The intention is to learn from your past and give you the tools to go forward. Have you signed up for that adult autism group?
>I don’t have the time available for the group.
<It's On-line.
She then sent me the link for it at 7:00pm tomorrow
<Tomorrow night. Got any plans?
>Registered!
<Yay!
<Call me Wednesday night and let me know how it went. I love you Good night!
>Ok!!!
I then went to sleep because I felt tormented by myself.
Song of the Day: The White Arcades - Harold Budd (1988)
Why did I read all of this
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I'm surprised that anybody would even read this in full.
- Joined
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- 2,714
April 29th, 2025: Another shitty day today. I woke up and went down to the convenience store to grab some cereal and signed up for their rewards program because I could get 3 boxes of Apple Jacks cereal for the price of one. I had some for breakfast and then went to this popular meetup to work on finalizing the presentation with Nintendo fan and Chappell. We got everything finished up as Chappell was complaining about the South Korean because she gets her politics from TikTok. Then the South Korean came and we finished up working on it and practicing rehearsal before heading out to my German class. I was feeling absolutely awful throughout class and I had this headache for it, plus with the added odd number of people attending class that day, I was the odd one out for the partner activities so I just decided to leave for a while and randomly decided to walk up to the third floor and then over to the far stairs and finally back down again. I got back once it was done and then proceeded to my next class where I transcribed the speakers notes for my slides and read off of them when it came time to present. I got kind of nervous but I powered through it and then went to this restaurant on campus to order this veggie quesadilla for a late lunch and absolutely loved it. I went back home to get prepared for my therapy session while I still had a headache. I took the bus down and decided to get some boba tea along the way and went to this place where they had AI generated art on the walls that was surprising. I got the tea and sat in this upper balcony and had the guy bring it up to me so I thanked him. I drank it and then went into my therapist’s office and waited until 3:30pm when I went into her room only to find out she was in a session with another girl:
“I’m sorry I had you down for 4:00pm, could you come back later?”
I said:
“I can do it next week!”
And then left, but I got outside and was still feeling awful mentally and then went back in and waited until 4:00pm and entered her office. The therapy session was good but I talked about my whole fight with Asherah, I at one point she gave me a cup of water and I ended up having to refill it 3 times and my headache wouldn’t go away. At one point she asks if I wanted to start SSRIs but I said no and she was more insistent this time, almost guilting me into it, which made me have an epiphany that she didn’t want to see me happy, she wanted to see me complacent. I left at 4:30pm because of the early wrap-up and just shambled my way to the Catholic Center. On the way there I messaged the girl I went on a date with yesterday asking if she wanted to go on another date but I just got a half-assed answer. I didn’t get a text asking to acolyte for this mass but I hung out with the Honduran and Markus before it started and sat near Mercurius during the mass. I had this thing for Twitter where I wanted to count the attendance for the mass by the number of men and women there and I got 14 men (Gabriel, Markus, the Honduran, Mahdi, Reuben, Henry, and others) (+2 Acolytes) and 13 women (Ava, the girl I first danced with). The priest’s homily was on Catherine of Sienna and her foreskin ring thing. We went upstairs for dinner and then went outside to take a group photo and a passing the torch event. I had dinner outside with the gang but Henry’s girlfriend was being Henry’s girlfriend. This one girl went to my plate and offered to grate cheese over it and I accepted. I went inside and saw Punk and I called them by their last name and they asked if I was just showing off my knowledge. I saw Pen Guy and I also found out that Punk is graduating but I eventually had to leave for the Autism group. Gabriel was the only one to say bye to me but I walked over and then found out that the thing wasn’t even happening because the Zoom host hadn’t started the meeting. I then sent this message in the Catholic center group chat:
>Whatever happened to the prayers request chat?
>I need to make a request
This girl then replied to me:
<You can make prayer requests in this chat! Who can we be praying for?
So I replied:
>I haven’t been feeling good mentally so for me.
Song of the Day: Einmal um die Welt - CRO (2011)
“I’m sorry I had you down for 4:00pm, could you come back later?”
I said:
“I can do it next week!”
And then left, but I got outside and was still feeling awful mentally and then went back in and waited until 4:00pm and entered her office. The therapy session was good but I talked about my whole fight with Asherah, I at one point she gave me a cup of water and I ended up having to refill it 3 times and my headache wouldn’t go away. At one point she asks if I wanted to start SSRIs but I said no and she was more insistent this time, almost guilting me into it, which made me have an epiphany that she didn’t want to see me happy, she wanted to see me complacent. I left at 4:30pm because of the early wrap-up and just shambled my way to the Catholic Center. On the way there I messaged the girl I went on a date with yesterday asking if she wanted to go on another date but I just got a half-assed answer. I didn’t get a text asking to acolyte for this mass but I hung out with the Honduran and Markus before it started and sat near Mercurius during the mass. I had this thing for Twitter where I wanted to count the attendance for the mass by the number of men and women there and I got 14 men (Gabriel, Markus, the Honduran, Mahdi, Reuben, Henry, and others) (+2 Acolytes) and 13 women (Ava, the girl I first danced with). The priest’s homily was on Catherine of Sienna and her foreskin ring thing. We went upstairs for dinner and then went outside to take a group photo and a passing the torch event. I had dinner outside with the gang but Henry’s girlfriend was being Henry’s girlfriend. This one girl went to my plate and offered to grate cheese over it and I accepted. I went inside and saw Punk and I called them by their last name and they asked if I was just showing off my knowledge. I saw Pen Guy and I also found out that Punk is graduating but I eventually had to leave for the Autism group. Gabriel was the only one to say bye to me but I walked over and then found out that the thing wasn’t even happening because the Zoom host hadn’t started the meeting. I then sent this message in the Catholic center group chat:
>Whatever happened to the prayers request chat?
>I need to make a request
This girl then replied to me:
<You can make prayer requests in this chat! Who can we be praying for?
So I replied:
>I haven’t been feeling good mentally so for me.
Song of the Day: Einmal um die Welt - CRO (2011)
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April 30th, 2025: Busy day today, I woke up early and had my cereal for breakfast and made myself a good pot of coffee. I opened the GroupMe chat and found that I had gotten a good amount of heart and prayer reacts on my message. Including from Reuben, Gabriel, this guy who I will be calling Luigi, Elizabeth, the first girl I danced with, this girl I thought always sounded like Macie, and a few others. I then saw a message posted by Reuben in the group chat which said:
<I will be studying at the Catholic center for a while if you prefer not to be alone.
<Just haven’t left home yet
I then realized that there was no breakfast there at the Catholic center so I went to the other breakfast event at 11:30pm to have it serve as my lunch. It was super silent there at some points so I ended up leaving to hang out at the Catholic Center. I got there to see Reuben studying for one of his classes and talked with him for a bit. Seraphim was there and so was Ava. I vacuumed the rug and then Reuben and I talked some more until the guy from my Machine Learning class came in, he talked about having an interview for an internship at the exact same company I was talking about. He said that he had a car so I was thinking about just giving up my attempt so he could have a better chance of getting it for himself. He talked about how the previous years of college were his worst and that computer science students were so asocial. Some more people came out of this class that was going on upstairs, including the Honduran, Markus, Mercurius, and 2 others, they made some more jokes outside of the class that I secretly recorded and sent to the girl I went on the date with, I had to disclose that I didn’t make those remarks. I then talked to Gabriel and the managing lady about writing postcards to the seniors and we eventually worked out something to have a bunch of paper slips we could write to them. I was going to write my phone number in mine for Punks but also some for the others to make it seem less suspicious. I then went to my art class and finished up my art book before hand and then ended up sitting with Ginger girl and her friend while we worked on our final art projects. Ginger girl’s friend said she needed a exacto-knife so I gave her mine, she thought it was nice and gave me an extra blade when I was done. We did the presentations of our projects to others and Pinky and the old guy found it nice, I overheard Ginger girl say something about chopping her hair off and not wearing makeup as a protest against norms for feminity. We then went back to our seats and I worked on cutting out black paper for my art project. At the end Ginger girl talks about something for her project that she was proud of and shows it to her friend and then to me, I look up and say:
“Yeah that’s cool.”
And then head back home, I enrolled for some classes and then posted a message asking for recommendations for classes I should take and I got some replies:
Green Bay girl:
<Gender studies
>You’re really dilating my neovagina there Olivia.
<I enjoyed it when I took it
<Or like
<If you have any interests, or things you want to learn
<Like some intro art classes can be fun
>I already did an intro to art class!
<Well
<wtf
>I’m currently in it!
<Oooh werk
Another who was in my Bible study last July (she’s an Art History Major):
<art history with dr. [professor’s last name]
One from 6ie:
<A workout class, you’ll meet alllll the ladies, same but slightly smaller percentage in an art class. I did “step aerobics” and it was 23 girls and one guy.
>
>That one guy was Rocky?
Macie replied:
<Dinosaurs
>Is that an actual class
<Yes
<Look it up
<I've heard it's the easiest class [college] offers
>Broooo
I then took a shower and went to sleep
Song of the day: Balthus Bemused By Color - Harold Budd (1988)
<I will be studying at the Catholic center for a while if you prefer not to be alone.
<Just haven’t left home yet
I then realized that there was no breakfast there at the Catholic center so I went to the other breakfast event at 11:30pm to have it serve as my lunch. It was super silent there at some points so I ended up leaving to hang out at the Catholic Center. I got there to see Reuben studying for one of his classes and talked with him for a bit. Seraphim was there and so was Ava. I vacuumed the rug and then Reuben and I talked some more until the guy from my Machine Learning class came in, he talked about having an interview for an internship at the exact same company I was talking about. He said that he had a car so I was thinking about just giving up my attempt so he could have a better chance of getting it for himself. He talked about how the previous years of college were his worst and that computer science students were so asocial. Some more people came out of this class that was going on upstairs, including the Honduran, Markus, Mercurius, and 2 others, they made some more jokes outside of the class that I secretly recorded and sent to the girl I went on the date with, I had to disclose that I didn’t make those remarks. I then talked to Gabriel and the managing lady about writing postcards to the seniors and we eventually worked out something to have a bunch of paper slips we could write to them. I was going to write my phone number in mine for Punks but also some for the others to make it seem less suspicious. I then went to my art class and finished up my art book before hand and then ended up sitting with Ginger girl and her friend while we worked on our final art projects. Ginger girl’s friend said she needed a exacto-knife so I gave her mine, she thought it was nice and gave me an extra blade when I was done. We did the presentations of our projects to others and Pinky and the old guy found it nice, I overheard Ginger girl say something about chopping her hair off and not wearing makeup as a protest against norms for feminity. We then went back to our seats and I worked on cutting out black paper for my art project. At the end Ginger girl talks about something for her project that she was proud of and shows it to her friend and then to me, I look up and say:
“Yeah that’s cool.”
And then head back home, I enrolled for some classes and then posted a message asking for recommendations for classes I should take and I got some replies:
Green Bay girl:
<Gender studies
>You’re really dilating my neovagina there Olivia.
<I enjoyed it when I took it
<Or like
<If you have any interests, or things you want to learn
<Like some intro art classes can be fun
>I already did an intro to art class!
<Well
<wtf
>I’m currently in it!
<Oooh werk
Another who was in my Bible study last July (she’s an Art History Major):
<art history with dr. [professor’s last name]
One from 6ie:
<A workout class, you’ll meet alllll the ladies, same but slightly smaller percentage in an art class. I did “step aerobics” and it was 23 girls and one guy.
>
>That one guy was Rocky?
Macie replied:
<Dinosaurs
>Is that an actual class
<Yes
<Look it up
<I've heard it's the easiest class [college] offers
>Broooo
I then took a shower and went to sleep
Song of the day: Balthus Bemused By Color - Harold Budd (1988)
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May 1st, 2025: Pretty shit day today, I woke up and had some more cereal for breakfast and then went out to explore this popular meetup place and get some coffee, but beforehand I realized that my debit card had expired today so I went to the bank I usually go to and ordered a new debit card, the guy there said that he wished he had went into computers when he was younger because he lived around the time of the Apple II being our and he thought computers were just a fad. The first thing I did with my newfound debit card was buy some coffee and then I went to this event where they were serving free food. I had that as my lunch and even talked with this 32 year old woman about her art stuff that she was selling. I then went back to the coffee shop I frequented and waited for the Bible study to start, the first person there was Kaitlyn and then Luigi also got there. I found out that Luigi was a sophomore and Kaitlyn was a senior. The Bible study didn’t even technically start until after I had to leave for my German class. When I got into German class I just didn’t feel good at all for most of it. When I got out of German class, I went back home and published my biblejak for the day and finished up my Norwegian flags before. I asked the art history major:
>What’s the number
For the art history class and she said:
<idk u will have it up in the course catalog
>
>If I need help I’m asking you!
>Which one?
I then sent her 3 pictures of the course catalog and she replied:
<i don’t see him anywhere
>What will you recommend?
<[professor] and [professor] are both good
I then went to my second class of the day where I had this lab about the grep command and I got it done in 15 minutes before getting cleaned up and headed out to a date with this girl that I was supposed to meet at 4:30pm at 3:45pm. On the way I noticed that there was this celebration for the event on that one Friday and so I wrote Asherah’s boss an email to clarify something:
>I am ok to go attend the celebration on Friday, May 9th?
I wrote a follow up email a bit later saying:
>I’ve had some issues with the students there so I just wanted to double check and make sure they’re ok with me attending.
I got there a bit too early and ended up taking multiple walks around the area before she said that she was going to get there at 5:20pm. I took one final walk around the place and she got there then so I went in and we hugged. She said she was obsessed with the color pink and her brother drove her there. She also had a Sanrio bag and was wearing this black dress. At one point she showed me the non-denominational church she attended and I saw it and was disgusted at it. The architecture was ugly, it was located in the middle of nowhere, and the parking lot was thrice the size of the church’s footprint. I kept my disdain for the church silent. After we got done with our date we walked over to the campus where I had the Thursday Eucharistic adoration, she kissed multiple times on the walk and when we got there, we had to walk a bit to find her brother and then we kissed and said goodbye. I then walked over to the adoration chapel and saw Father Constanza and then asked him:
“Is Eucharistic adoration on tonight?”
He replied:
“The last one was last week, we start up in the fall semester.”
I then took the bus and went home. When I got home I asked Vannie when she was going to visit her girlfriend and she said:
<hopefully soon
I also got a Snapchat from Cara calling me by my full name which was super funny. I still felt hungry even after the dinner so I went to the convenience store and bought a cup of beef ramen and heated it up. I ate that and then went to bed.
Song of the Day: Give It Up - KC and the Sunshine Band (1983)
>What’s the number
For the art history class and she said:
<idk u will have it up in the course catalog
>
>If I need help I’m asking you!
>Which one?
I then sent her 3 pictures of the course catalog and she replied:
<i don’t see him anywhere
>What will you recommend?
<[professor] and [professor] are both good
I then went to my second class of the day where I had this lab about the grep command and I got it done in 15 minutes before getting cleaned up and headed out to a date with this girl that I was supposed to meet at 4:30pm at 3:45pm. On the way I noticed that there was this celebration for the event on that one Friday and so I wrote Asherah’s boss an email to clarify something:
>I am ok to go attend the celebration on Friday, May 9th?
I wrote a follow up email a bit later saying:
>I’ve had some issues with the students there so I just wanted to double check and make sure they’re ok with me attending.
I got there a bit too early and ended up taking multiple walks around the area before she said that she was going to get there at 5:20pm. I took one final walk around the place and she got there then so I went in and we hugged. She said she was obsessed with the color pink and her brother drove her there. She also had a Sanrio bag and was wearing this black dress. At one point she showed me the non-denominational church she attended and I saw it and was disgusted at it. The architecture was ugly, it was located in the middle of nowhere, and the parking lot was thrice the size of the church’s footprint. I kept my disdain for the church silent. After we got done with our date we walked over to the campus where I had the Thursday Eucharistic adoration, she kissed multiple times on the walk and when we got there, we had to walk a bit to find her brother and then we kissed and said goodbye. I then walked over to the adoration chapel and saw Father Constanza and then asked him:
“Is Eucharistic adoration on tonight?”
He replied:
“The last one was last week, we start up in the fall semester.”
I then took the bus and went home. When I got home I asked Vannie when she was going to visit her girlfriend and she said:
<hopefully soon
I also got a Snapchat from Cara calling me by my full name which was super funny. I still felt hungry even after the dinner so I went to the convenience store and bought a cup of beef ramen and heated it up. I ate that and then went to bed.
Song of the Day: Give It Up - KC and the Sunshine Band (1983)
