Ultra Blog

[USL]

I've always wanted to write a journal, but I could never commit for more than a month. Maybe I just need a format change. It would be neat if I could make a blog post at least once a week for a while so that in the future I can look back at them.

Entry 1: 4/22/2024​

Overall, today and this past week were mostly uneventful. I have been stuck in a funk recently... I'm probably just progressing into a new stage in life. It's funny in a way. I'm discontent with my life stagnating but I'm hesitant to move forward. The only solution is to just move forward, but it's always easier said than done. About a year and a half ago I had a serious medical issue that forced me to stop working out among other things. Physical activity was a big part of my life and getting back into it has been embarrassingly tough. However, I have been making some great progress recently. Tonight marks 7 days straight of doing my run route (~6 miles). In high school I started running during the night and since it has been my preferred time to run outside. Some of my favorite nights to run are when it's a full moon like tonight. On cloudless nights, it's always shocking how the moonlight can produce such vivid shadows. My route goes into the woods, so it already tends to be empty, but there is something extra relaxing when it's just you on the trail. As I get back into my groove, I will probably end up in a gym for both lifting and cardio, so I plan on enjoying these runs while I can. I think the big thing on my mind is getting into a job in my field. My current job is fine and frankly anything involved with the supply chain offers lucrative opportunities, but it's not where I want to be in life. I like to think I'm an intelligent man and you don't need a job in a STEM field to be smart, but I genuinely want to be a scientist. The issue is between my current job and family matters, it has been difficult. That is all on top of the job field I'm interested in being challenging to get a foot in the door. I believe I'm qualified for said job, although I acknowledge I may not be as smart as I think I am... There is a just a lot on my mind. I want to get back in shape. I want to be in better shape than I have ever been. I want to be a scientist. Not just any scientist, but a scientist that accomplishes my personal goals. I want my family to be healthy and happy. I want to be happy. I would be lucky to have some of those come true. Regardless of which ones are possible to achieve, the only way any can come true is by moving forward. I just have to move forward.

 

[SoytanEnthusiast]

Damn nigga stay well

 

[USL]

Entry 2: 4/23/2024​

Today was also uneventful, although I feel that is more often than not a good thing. I wasn't working today so I was focusing on outdoor chores and admittedly relaxing. Unfortunately, my pomegranate farm has failed. For the past year I have been growing pomegranate trees on some open land. It wasn't a massive project, but it did take some effort. These three failed trees were grown from seeds I harvested from a pomegranate fruit I bought to eat. In hindsight, that was probably a poor idea. This week I will buy three saplings instead and plant them. It would have taken 3 years to get any fruit out of them, so I was already prepared for this to take a while. I also had an embarrassing interaction with a raccoon today. I leave one of my garage doors slightly opened for a feral cat I feed. As I was exiting my home, I saw the cat (Milfred) running into my garage. She looked freaked out so I could tell something was up. Then this huge raccoon squeezed through the garage and charged me. To run away from a 10-pound animal is embarrassing, but in my defense, I assumed it was rabid. What kind of raccoon forces its way into a garage with a person in it, then charges at him in broad daylight. Rabies can be lethal, and even if I get treatment that's a lot of pain, money, and time. Eventually after adding some protection to my legs, I drove it away with an ice breaker. In hindsight I don't think it was rabid, but still it was acting strange. This leaves me in a tough place with the feral cats, because I don't want to lock them out, but I can't have raccoons making nests in my garage... The ferals are tough and usually sleep outside in this weather so I'm just going to keep it shut for a day or two. That raccoon would need to be crazy if it didn't learn its lesson, but why take the chance?

I won't make a post every day, but while I'm in the mood to write, I'll probably make several posts a week.

 

[(In)CelibatePsycho]

Entry 2: 4/23/2024​

Today was also uneventful, although I feel that is more often than not a good thing. I wasn't working today so I was focusing on outdoor chores and admittedly relaxing. Unfortunately, my pomegranate farm has failed. For the past year I have been growing pomegranate trees on some open land. It wasn't a massive project, but it did take some effort. These three failed trees were grown from seeds I harvested from a pomegranate fruit I bought to eat. In hindsight, that was probably a poor idea. This week I will buy three saplings instead and plant them. It would have taken 3 years to get any fruit out of them, so I was already prepared for this to take a while. I also had an embarrassing interaction with a raccoon today. I leave one of my garage doors slightly opened for the feral cats I feed. As I was exiting my home, I saw one cat (Milfred) running into my garage. She looked freaked out so I could tell something was up. Then this huge raccoon squeezed through the garage and charged me. To run away from a 10-pound animal is embarrassing, but in my defense, I assumed it was rabid. What kind of raccoon forces its way into a garage with a person in it, then charges at him in broad daylight. Rabies can be lethal, and even if I get treatment that's a lot of pain, money, and time. Eventually after adding some protection to my legs, I drove it away with an ice breaker. In hindsight I don't think it was rabid, but still it was acting strange. This leaves me in a tough place with the feral cats, because I don't want to lock them out, but I can't have raccoons making nests in my garage... The ferals are tough and usually sleep outside in this weather so I'm just going to keep it shut for a day or two. That raccoon would need to be crazy if it didn't learn its lesson, but why take the chance?

I won't make a post every day, but while I'm in the mood to write, I'll probably make several posts a week.

I've always wanted to write a journal, but I could never commit for more than a month. Maybe I just need a format change. It would be neat if I could make a blog post at least once a week for a while so that in the future I can look back at them.

Entry 1: 4/22/2024​

Overall, today and this past week were mostly uneventful. I have been stuck in a funk recently... I'm probably just progressing into a new stage in life. It's funny in a way. I'm discontent with my life stagnating but I'm hesitant to move forward. The only solution is to just move forward, but it's always easier said than done. About a year and a half ago I had a serious medical issue that forced me to stop working out among other things. Physical activity was a big part of my life and getting back into it has been embarrassingly tough. However, I have been making some great progress recently. Tonight marks 7 days straight of doing my run route (~6 miles). In high school I started running during the night and since it has been my preferred time to run outside. Some of my favorite nights to run are when it's a full moon like tonight. On cloudless nights, it's always shocking how the moonlight can produce such vivid shadows. My route goes into the woods, so it already tends to be empty, but there is something extra relaxing when it's just you on the trail. As I get back into my groove, I will probably end up in a gym for both lifting and cardio, so I plan on enjoying these runs while I can. I think the big thing on my mind is getting into a job in my field. My current job is fine and frankly anything involved with the supply chain offers lucrative opportunities, but it's not where I want to be in life. I like to think I'm an intelligent man and you don't need a job in a STEM field to be smart, but I genuinely want to be a scientist. The issue is between my current job and family matters, it has been difficult. That is all on top of the job field I'm interested in being challenging to get a foot in the door. I believe I'm qualified for said job, although I acknowledge I may not be as smart as I think I am... There is a just a lot on my mind. I want to get back in shape. I want to be in better shape than I have ever been. I want to be a scientist. Not just any scientist, but a scientist that accomplishes my personal goals. I want my family to be healthy and happy. I want to be happy. I would be lucky to have some of those come true. Regardless of which ones are possible to achieve, the only way any can come true is by moving forward. I just have to move forward.

Are you going to college or planning to go to college? I’m thinking of double majoring with pre-med when I go to college next year

Also good look with the trees. Personally I would plant an orange tree or something instead since I think pomegranates suck, but if you like them you should do whatever you want.

 

[USL]

Are you going to college or planning to go to college? I’m thinking of double majoring with pre-med when I go to college next year

Also good look with the trees. Personally I would plant an orange tree or something instead since I think pomegranates suck, but if you like them you should do whatever you want.

I'm fresh out of college with a Bio and Chem major. Pre-med is an excellent path, but the medical field has changed a great deal these past few decades. It is very corporatized and nothing like the days when doctors owned their own practices. Thats not to say it's bad, not at all, but I notice a lot of people just don't understand what they are getting into. I'd prefer going the PhD route, not that it would pay better but because I like working in labs.
It's hard for me to pick between oranges and pomegranates, they are both tasty to me. Fortunately, my climate chooses for me. Too cold and dry in the winter to grow oranges here, but surprisingly pomegranates are fine. Some of my best memories are picking oranges by the ocean, so I would if I could.

 

[(In)CelibatePsycho]

I'm fresh out of college with a Bio and Chem major. Pre-med is an excellent path, but the medical field has changed a great deal these past few decades. It is very corporatized and nothing like the days when doctors owned their own practices. Thats not to say it's bad, not at all, but I notice a lot of people just don't understand what they are getting into. I'd prefer going the PhD route, not that it would pay better but because I like working in labs.
It's hard for me to pick between oranges and pomegranates, they are both tasty to me. Fortunately, my climate chooses for me. Too cold and dry in the winter to grow oranges here, but surprisingly pomegranates are fine. Some of my best memories are picking oranges by the ocean, so I would if I could.
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If I’m thinking of being a scientist or something like that should I go pre-med or is pre-med just for people who want to be doctors and dentists and stuff? Cause I don’t want to be a doctor or a dentist. The college I’ll be going to has an excellent pre-med program so I’m thinking of taking advantage of that if it would benefit me in my future aspirations

 

[USL]

I hate to be vague, but it's complicated. I didn't go to a bad school (honestly, I think it was a great school) but they did not help me at all with career pathing. You need to be extremely proactive about your next step after your undergraduate. Pre-med usually just means Biology but with a 3.7+ GPA, so go for it. It looks better than a plain biology degree in many cases. My grandfather and I know several other doctors I know who went to medical school had philosophy degrees (not even STEM degrees). The big thing is making sure you have the minimum requirements for your next step and that you have things to make you stand out. I would give you some more meaningful advice, but I couldn't... Befriend every PhD you meet and try to figure out how they did it. Even if you are a freshmen start bugging people involved with PhD programs. If you can't get into a PhD program, consider a Masters. At the end of all of this, you decide you fucked up, spend a year or two in a warehouse. I know several kids (one who had a physics degree) who have just worked in warehouses after college and now make 6 figure stacking pallets. Keep an open mind and be proactive.

 

[USL]

Entry 3: 5/13/2024​

The past few weeks have been hectic. My current job isn’t bad at all, but it’s not exactly in the field I want to be in. No one has gotten back to me on my resumes, however apparently 1-2 months is normal for response times. I’ve been seeing articles talking about how companies don’t want to hire gen Z employees. At times it really feels like it might be true. (1) At the end of the day, I have plenty of fall-back plans, but it would still be nice if things could go as planned.

My elderly relatives have recently been having medical issues. I live near them and moved in with them to help. It’s nice not having to worry about rent and I help them out, so it’s a mutually beneficial relationship. I am very close with them, and I hate to see them growing old. One is perhaps the most eloquent and intellectual man I have ever known. Despite being a surgeon by trade, you’d think he was a philosopher, economist, and English professor after talking to him. Not to mention he is extremely consistent with his own morals. Obviously, I look up to him. His wife was one of the most caring and friendliest people I knew. She was not a slouch intellectually either and helped as a nurse and accountant in the practice he owned. She was always fun to be around and helped my brothers and I through very challenging times. She taught me how to write papers on a typewriter, so whether my blog posting is shit or great can be blamed on her… They both have been ravaged by time. He has been struck by the most horrible of neurological issues. Him having a back surgery was the main reason I decided to move in with them for a bit. There couldn’t be a less deserving man for these things to happen too… He is old (older than even a boomer) so I expect these things, but it is still unpleasant. He is head strong and I feel like I must force him to get rest. After extreme spine surgeries, you’d think you’d have a harder time getting them out of bed rather than trying to stop them from tending to their gardens. I’m sure he’ll recover, but he is still getting old. It pains me. He is a man from a bygone era. A man who fought against the tide that has wreaked havoc on his country. A surgeon who was at the cutting edge of his specialty yet dined with blue collar workers. A man so intelligent that he could talk circles around you in any subject of your choosing, yet was always eager to learn more. A man so moral that there isn’t a week that goes by where I don’t see a person thank him for “not charging them” in a time of need. He is a stoic man, yet deep down I can tell he fears nothing more than losing control of his mind and body. His wife has lost her vibrance and mobility. She has trouble enjoying life anymore, despite bringing joy to so many others. She was an elegant woman and worthy of just as much respect as her husband. It pains me to see them in this state and I don’t want to abandon them. However, there is only so much I can do. There is nothing they’d hate more than to get in the way of my life and it's getting to the point where even I cannot deny that they do… I enjoy every second I spend with them, but they are holding me back in one area or another. I do not intend on abandoning them and I hope it’s the right choice to make.

Also, school is ending for now. It’s always nice not to have to worry about grades and busy work. After getting paid to do things, it’s made academia way harder knowing I’m the one who must pay. All As and pretty interesting classes this spring, so I can’t complain.

Ref:
1) https://www.voanews.com/a/forty-per...iring-gen-z-workers-survey-says-/7425325.html

 

[USL]

Entry 4: 5/20/2024​

The last feral cat I have been feeding has passed away. She always seemed old and sickly, yet she outlived all the feral cats around her. She generally sleeps in the attic above the garage, and I leave the garage door cracked open enough for her and previously the other cats to get in. I saw her rush into the garage, and she was struggling and tripping over herself trying to climb the stairs. I could tell she was in bad shape. I tried bringing some food up into the attic, but she didn’t really want anything to do with me. I figured I’d let her go for a while in hopes she would come for an evening bowl of food. I walked out of my garage, and she was on the ground floor completely unresponsive and barely breathing. I didn’t really know what to do so I decided to grab her some more food and water. By the time I came back out she had passed away. I buried her today and it bummed me out. Just as I made it back inside, I found 7 dead mice in the dining room. My indoor cat must have decided to commit total mouse death and lay all the bodies around for shits and giggles. I was looking at the mice and wondering why I didn’t feel as bad about my cat killing them as I did for the outdoor cat. I know it's obviously because I’ve been feeding one as outdoor pet for a while and the others are pests. If nothing else the cat had a much nicer life, and those mice probably had a really shitty life. Next few entries WILL be positive.

(Didn't hit post reply award till days later award)

 

[USL]

Entry 5: 5/25/2024​

Labor Day weekend has been pretty nice so far. Hanging out with family and biking around the area. Starting to build a giant pile of logs and sticks to light on fire tomorrow. Usually, I'm at the beach during Labor Day weekend, so I don't know what I should do for this weekend. I'll probably look up some location worth spending the day tomorrow.

 

[USL]

Entry 6: 8/26/2024​

I think I'd like to write a book. With imageboards and forums being in a state of decay, I'm not sure if I really want to be a part of them anymore... It just feels like it's always chasing highs that will never happen again or expectations that will never be met. I'm not saying being part of /qa/, the 'arty, and now the shlog was a waste of my time, but I think it is neither healthy or truly fun to be around anymore. If I can really quit most of this internet stuff, I'd like to write a book. I've always felt like I've had maladaptive daydreams and have had a fantasy of one day becoming a writer as a hobby. I think I'd like to work on that instead of using forums and imageboards. Not saying I'm leaving for good or even now (quitting as an internet addict isn't that easy), but as most of you have seen I have been weening myself off of it. Froot, Doll, and Root raping the 'arty made the soysphere easy, but I have a long way before I'm where I want to be. My life is going through a lot of changes. While my current job is fine, it's likely I will be getting a more ideal job soon. Some of my family is moving back home while others are leaving. My older family members are counting down their years, and I'd like to do a better job being with them. While I have always worked out, I've begun working out in earnest again. My medical issues are truly behind me, and I need to do my part to return to where I was and beyond. I always lived by the philosophy that if I did the right things, happiness would follow and while that hasn't always been the case, something feels different now. Many times before, I would tell myself things would change in a brief moment of retrospection, only to do nothing. I'm not sure if something in me changed or I am being pushed by outside factors, but I feel like things are progressing in a new direction for me. If there was a mental block, its breaking. Trolling, raiding, and jakking was fun, but I think I'm putting it behind me. In the past I'd regret the time I spent on these sorts of things. I'm sure I've wasted more time than I could imagine commiserating and regretting things in the past that can never be changed, only to eat into my future. At the end of the day, these experiences will always help to make me who I am, whether I like it or not. It doesn't even feel like this shift in mentality is a conscious choice of mine, but the result of something deeper changing. I want to follow this longing wherever it takes me.

 

[USL]

Entry 7: 1/26/2025​

I've started working out seriously again. Less cardio and more lifting this time around. So far, the results have been pleasing. Also started going to a chiropractor. With insurance it's pretty reasonable. Some of my family members have had to deal with spinal stenoses, so I may have inherited some risk factor for it. A genetic link to spinal stenoses and the effectiveness of chiropractic treatments in preventing it are not certain, however I personally believe in both. I would recommend chiropractic therapies to anyone. Modern life ruins your spine, and you are only as old as your spine. Could be an important factor in determining if you can take advantage of the possible life extending medicines to come out in our lifetimes. Who knows.

I've been trying to avoid the soysphere since my last blog update and I've done a pretty good job at it. I've been a little active since December but haven't been nearly as involved in any soysphere site. Still working the same job as before, despite trying to get a different one. It's not a bad job. If I had to work this job for the rest of my life, I could probably live a very nice life. Despite that, it's just not where I want to be in life. I've made progress in finding new jobs, but it's just very slow. I'd say it's an issue in my field, but it seems like the case with most white-collar jobs in the USA. My buddy had to take a test in a room with hundreds of other applicants for a warehouse job he didn't get. The guy even went to college, so maybe it's not a white-collar issue but just a job issue. Trump will probably resolve lots of economic and political issues, but I suspect the job market isn't getting any better any time soon. I know I will succeed, but I can't help but despise the process.

I've started cooking more. I've gotten fairly good at cooking fish, which I previously thought would be an impossibility for me. Maybe good is giving myself too much credit, but I liked the taste. I've been thinking about starting my own cookbook for recipes I like and find. One of my grandparents has a cookbook and she has always been a great cook.

After taking part in oxamrazor's novella thread, I've started putting together my book in earnest. It just made me want to do my own writing. Going through rough drafts and plot flow charts feels like a waste of time. My work always feels subpar when I reread it. The tediousness of the process and the perceived inadequacy of my work make it difficult to start. Just looking at my blogposts here, my writing can be very clunky. However, it's more important to get that first chapter done, rather than making sure the first paragraph is perfect. Plus, it's not like I'm a professional author. This is mostly for my own fun. Worst case it'll be a rough draft closer to the final product.

Also, brimstone winter 2025 has sucked. Guess that's dead.

 

[Soyteen Liker]

After taking part in oxamrazor's novella thread, I've started putting together my book in earnest. It just made me want to do my own writing. Going through rough drafts and plot flow charts feels like a waste of time. My work always feels subpar when I reread it. The tediousness of the process and the perceived inadequacy of my work make it difficult to start. Just looking at my blogposts here, my writing can be very clunky. However, it's more important to get that chapter done, rather than making sure the first paragraph is perfect. Plus, it's not like I'm a professional author. This is mostly for my own fun. Worst case it'll be a rough draft closer to the final product.

What's your book about?

 

[USL]

What's your book about?

It would be a fictional fantasy story (very original, I know). I’m personally tired of all the subversions within recent fantasy. Not to say twists, revelations, and morally grey ideas are bad. I think you can have all of that with being a subversion of fantasy. Would the song of ice and fire be as popular if it was written before stories like the Lord of the Rings trilogy? I’m not even trying to say song and fire is bad, I'm just tired of even the better subversions.

That tangent didn’t really answer anything. The story would be hard to explain, since I intend for it to have a large overarching plot and setting. I guess you could say it’s post apocalyptic in the same sense as the Lord of the Rings. It’s a setting clearly past its prime. A world where everyone is living in the shadow of greater times. The main character has desires and purpose, but navigating current setting is probably the focus of the story.

Being an author is probably never going to be the main focus in my life, so even completing this rough draft will be a Herculean for me. Still, it’s something I’ve really wanted to do for a long time.

 

[Soyteen Liker]

It would be a fictional fantasy story (very original, I know). I’m personally tired of all the subversions within recent fantasy. Not to say twists, revelations, and morally grey ideas are bad. I think you can have all of that with being a subversion of fantasy. Would the song of ice and fire be as popular if it was written before stories like the Lord of the Rings trilogy? I’m not even trying to say song and fire is bad, I'm just tired of even the better subversions.

That tangent didn’t really answer anything. The story would be hard to explain, since I intend for it to have a large overarching plot and setting. I guess you could say it’s post apocalyptic in the same sense as the Lord of the Rings. It’s a setting clearly past its prime. A world where everyone is living in the shadow of greater times. The main character has desires and purpose, but navigating current setting is probably the focus of the story.

Sounds cool, where do you plan on publishing it if you finish it?

 

[USL]

Sounds cool, where do you plan on publishing it if you finish it?

That’s a question I’ll have to wonder in a year or two, once I get this first draft or a second draft completed. I’ve thought about things like that and finding an editor, but I’m really trying not to get ahead of myself. My profession and education are probably the opposite of creative writing. I haven’t even been able to commit to a journal these past years for more than a few months. This is definitely something that could end up never being completed. Harping on that probably won’t help me, so I’ll leaving the harping at that.