Meta Log

January 29th, 2025: Another shitty day today, I didn't get up until 9:00am and I made some more soyjaks. I got the 80,000th approved post on the booru which I liked. I decided to go to the Walmart to buy something and I ended up getting some toothpaste and disinfectant wipes, I got complimented on my jacket three times there, on the wait for the bus back this older Black man started talking to me about how I should not waste my life or something. While I was walking to my first class, I ended up seeing Cherries sitting in a leather chair down the hallway wearing her University of Minnesota-Twin Cities sweater. I lucked out and she didn’t notice me but it felt like I was being mocked. For my first class it was just more learning about the C language and I tried to program Floyd's Triangle in C and got it to work.
Floyd's triangle lists the natural numbers in a right triangle aligned to the left where
*the first row is 1
*successive rows start towards the left with the next number followed by successive naturals listing one more number than the line above.
The first few lines of a Floyd triangle looks like this:
1
2 3
4 5 6
7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15
After my first class, I walked over to my second class where Padma decided not to sit next to me and the other 2 of Padma's friends didn't really talk to me. After that I went back home and gamed some more before deciding to go to my art class, but I decided to drink half a beer beforehand so I could socialize better. I get there and then unpack my art stuff, leaving it out on the table. I then went walk outside to take more three more pictures of brickwork to print out for my project, I had to print twice because I fucked up the first time, I then finally walk back inside to find this Black guy named Kelechi putting something on my materials, I look closer and it's my exacto knife, I'm fucking angry.
"What the fuck are you doing with my shit!"
"I'm s-s-sorry!"
Kelechi replies:
"Don't ever fucking touch my shit ever again"
I yell at him.
I grab all my art stuff and pack it up then leave the class early. I walked home and texted Lizzo a bit more and I was just getting more angry with her because of her failure to successfully contact Asherah and her general unenthusiasm. At 6:56pm, I texted my mom asking if I could get my therapy covered through our insurance and she said yes immediately and then to call me, I said I couldn’t call now but I could do it tomorrow. I was trying to go to bed but I remember after 10:00pm I just heard Enosh constantly talking loud as hell in his room on a phone call, and every single time I'd try to see if he was done talking I would have to hear his conversation and it was driving me fucking nuts, I swear it went on for an hour. I just finally went to bed.

Song of the Day: Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper (1984)
 
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January 30th, 2025: I could hardly sleep at all throughout the night, it was just me tossing and turning throughout the night. I started off the day by completing my German homework before heading to my German class where we learned more about saying the numbers in German where we listened to this song called 21, 22, 23. After that I went to this involvement fair because we didn’t have to do my group meeting and signed up for some clubs I won't be attending, I saw one where they were holding the flag of Kyrgyzstan and there was this chuddy looking dude was volunteering for it, it was for a Russian culture club and I was actually kind of interested. I went home and gamed a bit more and them had lunch, eventually I went to my lab where the teacher showed up a bit late but I actually got it done pretty easy because it was just doing some simple Linux commands, creating a C file that was given to us, and then executing it, I called my mom after I got out about going to therapy and she said to me that I was brave for doing so just like Adams did. I walked over to the Catholic house at 5:00pm to go and visit the seminary, the priest drove us down to the place and we waited in the lobby for a bit until we are let in to join the liturgy of the hours. I end up seeing the old Archbishop on the way back and I wave to him as he waves to me back. For dinner we had ribs where the meat fell off the plate, quinoa, and salad. I ended up sitting with 5 other seminarians and at one point they joke about the guy sitting to the left of me eating Reese’s puffs in peanut butter and chocolate milk, only for him to later make himself a bowl of exactly that and start eating it, he told me not to take pictures so I just took a video of him doing that and laughing. After that this priest who looks like Lex Luthor took us on a tour of the place and showed us the plans to renovate it back to its old glory before all the cool artistry got painted over in the 1970s and this discussion about tax credits. We then proceed to the old bowling alley where you have to manually set the pins into the slots and then pull a sting to set the loaded pins down. I bowl pretty well and I also went over to the gym to take a hit at that red thing which you are supposed to punch rapidly, I try it and do extremely good, the Honduran (from my second Bible study group) compliments me saying that he can’t do it due to the other 3 people in the room being too short. the Honduran then talks about getting a La Croix so me, him, and another person go upstairs with this seminarian named Matthew, we open it up to see this fridge full of drink cans, including some New Glarus Brewing Company beer, I ask for the beer and even show my ID but he says I can have one and he says sure.
IMG_3585.jpeg

I drink about half of the beer before I accidentally dropped it on the ground and made a mess, the priest I came with asked me what was spilled on the ground and I said that it was beer, he got mad at me because I "wasn't supposed to be drinking that" (even though I am 21 and I am not driving), I help clean up the spill and even see the smoking room. After that we drove back to the place we came from and I walked home. I got angry seeing that Enosh was home and trying to go to bed was absolute hell for some unknown reason. I tried hitting my head with my pillow to go to bed but that still didn't work.

Song of the Day: 21, 22, 23 - AnnenMayKantereit (2016)
 
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January 31st, 2025: Last day of the month, I woke up 30 minutes after my alarm went off and made some cereal for breakfast, made some coffee and then hopped on the bus to work. I read my text messages last night and found out that Chapelle unironically thought that my name was something else, I corrected her and she acted surprised. My work was pretty ok but I had to stock this large pull that was left upstairs, I remember seeing the original owner of the store here and I also had to do the beverage cooler. At around 12:00pm I heard a bunch of clapping in the cafeteria and I go over to see that there was this huge feast out which included a pizza and some Mexican food made by Will’s Wife, practically everybody who wasn’t a part of the deli team or the bakery team was there, including John, Jesse, Lebanon, the original owner’s son, Ignacio, Will’s brother Bill (who’s catchphrase is: “Hello Gemerson!”) and others. The feast was to celebrate the head of the deli department leaving today because he would be working with the owners of our company. From what I heard he started in July of 2013 and was considered a hard worker who would work 60 hour weeks even though the original owner would constantly tell him to take a break, there was this one story about him managing to cook 45lbs of pasta in 25 minutes for an order. I eat a bunch as I listen to John and the cashier that looked similar to him talk about playtesting a new tabletop RPG system based around the D12 because the original Dungeons and Dragons system was on its way out. I got out of that after half an hour and then decided to clock out for my “lunch break” where I texted Joseph to tell him that I wouldn’t be able to come to dinner night tonight. After that I continue cleaning up and even manage to get out of work early, when I get back to my apartment I end up seeing a mess in the kitchen, causing me to blurt out:
“Fucking idiot!”
I then go into the dining room to see Enosh in the living room playing Battlefield on the TV. I just go into my room and game for a bit before deciding to head to the diner, Maxwell is the only person working so I order this sandwich that is basically like a grilled cheese but with attentionwhore bread (I didn't get the attentionwhore bread even though I ordered it) and I enjoyed it a lot, I tipped generously and Maxwell was suprised. I then walked home and started posting on soyjak.party and I ended up getting banned and unbanned twice for Rule 3. You WILL NOT advertise for imageboards, discord servers, telegram channels, crypto projects, etc.
- Participation in hostile or disruptive off-site communities or servers is FORBIDDEN. By the system, luckily I got it appealed both times. In order to deal with my poor sleep I decided to make some sleepytime tea, the first two times I forgot about them and the water boiled out of the electric kettle so I had to refill it, the final time I finally made some and enjoyed it. I also installed this app called redlight on my Xubuntu desktop to help make things better. I take a shower and hear Enosh call his friend back home in Minnesota. Also Lizzo hasn't responded back to me about Asherah or just about what I said in general so I'm fucked.

Song of the Day: Let's Dance - David Bowie (1983)
 
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February 1st, 2025: First day of the month. I forgot my wallet at home so when I was working I couldn’t afford anything to eat so I just had to rely on free food to eat, which consisted of a pouch of fruit snacks I had left in my coat, sheep cheese with truffles in it that expired yesterday, and the last piece of cake in the fridge. At one point I was with Copper in the break room today and this song was playing that he said sounded like Slow Dancing In The Dark by Joji, I decided to use Shazam to look it up and found out that the song was called Perfect Symphony by Andrea Bocelli & Ed Sheeran. Just before lunch at 1:25pm I got a text from Lizzo with her saying:
<I think you talk to a professional about this stuff
I waited a bit to text back and then I texted her back at 3:07pm saying:
>I got the sleep thing under control don’t worry! (Just drank some tea before bed). And I called 2 people on the list of insurance approved therapists my mom gave me.
I told fAsherah about me forgetting my wallet and she said she would give me a small slice of cake but I already had the cake in the fridge. My closings were done early because I started them early. When I got home, I decided to join the voicechat on /dem/ with Gold, CobsonTalks, and a few others to help them raid a thread over on /bp/. I cooked this mac n cheese thing in the oven and got bullied for the Mount Gay rum again. I then took a shower, had some tea, and went to bed.

Song of the Day: Perfect Symphony - Andrea Bocelli & Ed Sheeran (2017)
 
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February 2nd, 2025: Sunday today, got up early for work and had to shovel the sidewalk for work. I remember this one coworker I had named Tony was kind of angry in the morning so he kinda pushed me out of the way. On my first break Copper gave me some M&Ms to eat and I was honestly pretty appreciative. I got done with my other tasks and the owner of the store paid for my Calabrian flatbread. Lizzo left me on read so I'm fucked. I finally got out of work after cleaning up this wine spill and Tony asked me if this orange soda I bought was good but I just said to him that I never tried it before. I go to my alternate bus stop because my first one does not work and I try one of the orange sodas, I enjoy it and it even has real orange pulp. I get home to find out Enosh is making fried gnocchi with eggplant and olive oil, it is a recipe that he learned from when he studied abroad in Italy. I eat some of it and then I head to church where Lucas and Raphael are volunteering as ushers. Lucas asks me if I could pass out candles with cones on them to people entering the church and I say sure. Joseph makes a remark about how February 2nd, otherwise known as The Presentation of the Lord, rarely ever falls on a Sunday. We light the candles during the start of the mass and I am tasked with going down the aisle and lighting the first person's candle along with 3 other people. The girl who veils from the Tuesday mass event was there wearing an olive colored bandana as a veil. After we sit down we extinguish the candles and go through the readings from the book of Malachi, Psalms, Hebrews, and finally Luke. I sat near Rose and her boyfriend. I see the veiling girl writing down something in a journal that she had and after the mass was done there was this thing where we had our throats blessed because of it being the feast day of Saint Blaise of Sebaste, I went up and got my throat blessed with the priest crossing two long candles and doing the blessing. I then walked home, took a shower, and went to bed.

Song of the Day: Money - Pink Floyd (1973)
 
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February 3rd, 2025: Back to school, I realized for my art project that I would have to submit two different designs instead of one single design, so most of my waking hours were spent hastily designing the second one, I skipped my first two classes in order to get them done by 4:00pm, when I finally got them done I packed up my box and brought them to class, we had to put them on a wall and go around and critique them. I was assigned to this group with the Ginger girl and this other girl, it was just going through the art of the others and seeing how much better theirs were as compared to mind. The teacher said that we would be going one by one through the art pieces after the group critiques, I felt embarrassment during my time to "shine". I remember all the criticisms that were given to me and here are some of them:
<"I like that the top one is like all the same color kind of, I think it looks really cool, and you can still tell what everything is, even though it's still kind of like that gray." - ginger girl
>"Yeah, it was just that the stuff I printed out didn't print out very good." - my response
<"Is that like a courtyard?" - oldest guy in the class
>"It was just outside right there because that's where I took most of the photos, it was an abstraction of that place." - my response
<"If you wanna like, um visualize it more without using Photoshop, like, you know, for your own pen drawing, I used my wash to do dark washes on things. So if you wanted to see some of your elements darker, something could be nice would be just doing like a wash over the parts which you want to be darker, though that's really dark, to see how that works." - ginger girl again
<"I also like the different perspectives of the bottom one and how everything is kind of like, you can tell it's abstracted from like a different angle, like the table and then the legs and the keyboard and the screens. It's all varied, like there are different perspectives, but then it forms a good one, like composition." - another girl
^"So again, do you think we need to do a shapes thing or just adjust the size or the value?" - the teacher
>"Yeah, I'm probably gonna darken it, like I couldn't really get any variation in the printing. I probably should have used some of the solid colored paper that you had." - my response
^"Yeah, definitely. I think, this is really nice to see but it could use some more darks." - the teacher's response
<"I'm imagining you could do some implied lines like with the oldest guy's artwork, on the sides of the potted plants to like really make them pop out, even if you wanted to keep it the same value, having that dark on the side of them would make them pop out against the gray background. I also think something that could be really cool is if you go with that one plant in the middle and bringing it down, which would make it look like it was forward, like these plants were arranged triangularly. I think that would be a cool thing to add because the bottom is like a little empty right at the bottom, and if you scooted that middle one down and forward that would create like a really nice balance, especially with the top going in like this and the bottom." - ginger girl
>"Yeah, what I wanted to do is to take the left most part and have it tipped over, like a spill out, and then having the dirt coming out of the pot without any plant." - my response
^"So what like you just wanted to this to be darker, but you didn't have the textures or just like light gray." - the teacher
>"Well mostly both of them, but I like the colors I got on the bottom one, that's about it." - my response
The teacher told us our final project for this unit would be due 2 weeks from today and to do it in micron pen, I go home and I realized that I have not heard a call back from the two therapists that I had tried to call to schedule an appointment with all day, which made me feel kind of bad. I take a shower, and go to bed.

Song of the Day: Miss You - Rolling Stones (1978)
 
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February 4th, 2025: Tuesday today, for one of the tasks I had before my German class was to complete this quiz about the distinction between die, der, and das, there was this one question that really pissed me off because it contained a stack of newspapers (die Zeitungen) but when I completed the quiz, it marked it as wrong because apparently I was supposed to conjugate a sentence for the singular form (die Zeitung). I finally got to my German class early to see this mixed race guy talking to this ginger girl with A10 eyes about helping her with the class, they exchanged Instagram accounts, it got me kinda jealous and kinda happy for the guy. In class we discussed the time and how to tell it in German, the teacher forgot my name again so he ended up calling me multiple times. Near the end of the class we played Bingo but with telling the time and after a while of nobody getting 5 in a row, he just had us list off the ones we had. I walked over to my second class where we had to discuss the ethics of certain things in a utilitarian and a deontologist model, before class started we were discussing some stuff about what Chapelle thought my name was, she said that my new name was really cool and that it was on her list of potential baby names even though she said she doesn't plan on having kids, the other girl in my group had Demon Slayer stickers on her laptop. After that I went home and decided to game for a while before heading to the Tuesday mass. Walking to the mass was cold even with my fake leather jacket but I made it there. I sat in the back and ended up having nobody sit next to me except for this one engaged girl who was a singer that put her coat in the seat next to me but sat two rows in front of me. Thomas and his friend were there for the first time in quite a while. When mass was done there was an announcement that they messed up the spices and now the meat in the tacos would be pretty spicy, so I went upstairs and made myself a taco, but they weren't actually spicy. Asherah and Zephyr weren't there so I'm convinced that they hate me now. I ended up sitting next to Henry and the girl I bullied last week. I witnessed them being real comfortable with each other before they told me that they have been dating for over a week. I was partially happy and mostly jealous, as it seemed that Henry's niceness seemed to actually pay off and have him be liked whereas whenever I tried to be nice to people it just ended up being for nothing and resulted with me being pranked. Henry complimented me on my jacket which I was happy with. I then walked home and I found out that Rose posted this thing on her Instagram story which was a picture of her and her boyfriend with the caption: "9" so I replied to her:
"Wait your boyfriend's name is 9?"
She replied:
"Ummm... yes I legally changed his name"
Lol.

Song of the Day: Mit freundlichen Grüßen - Die Fantastischen Vier (1999)
 
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February 5th, 2025: I was greeted to a text from the priest in charge of the Catholic house telling me about this breakfast event which was going to be held at 8:30am, so I decided to walk over at 8:05am and got there pretty early, I texted the priest asking why the door was locked and he said that he would be there soon, I take a short walk and when I come back the door is unlocked, the priest has me set the table and even taught me how to make scrambled eggs. When we get done eating the scrambled eggs, bacon, ground beef, and coffee we start to go over this reading of the Summa Theologiae, more specifically Question 6. Confession, as regards its necessity, we discuss the readings and end up having to skip a portion because the printer messed up and cut it out entirely. I ended up reading two parts that I can remember:
"Objection 2. Further, we read of some being forgiven their sins without confession, e.g. Peter, Magdalen and Paul. But the grace that remits sins is not less efficacious now than it was then. Therefore neither is it necessary for salvation now that man should confess."
and its response:
"Reply to Objection 2. Although we do not read that they confessed, it may be that they did; for many things were done which were not recorded in writing. Moreover Christ has the power of excellence in the sacraments; so that He could bestow the reality of the sacrament without using the things which belong to the sacrament."
We discussed the reading a bit more before we were done and we had to clean up, I got some of the dishes off the table and even decided to sweep up the place which wasn't on my task lists. I then go back home and prepare a bunch of Japanese prefecture 'jaks to upload to the Soybooru. I uploaded like 95 and thus got the 100000th GET but then some rouge janitor ends up raging and deletes a ton of them. I make myself some lunch and then head out to my first class, I buy an energy drink beforehand and drink that before sitting through a boring lecture about arrays in C. I then head over to my second class to find out that Padma's group ended up deciding to sit on the other side of the lecture hall and it ended up making me really pissed off and really depressed at the same time, I could hardly focus for the entirety of the class. When I got home I heated up some of the gnocchi that Enosh made and it tasted worse than I remember, way too much olive oil in it. I then walked to my art class in the cold where I spent most of it tracing and transferring a print I made. I remember seeing the girl who commented on my discussion post leave the classroom and I asked her why she was leaving, she said that she was dropping the class, she did say:
"It was nice meeting you"
and I wish I had asked for a way to keep in contact. I wasn't feeling good so I told the teacher that I had to leave early for an appointment and she mentioned that she would have to mark me absent, I go outside the classroom for a bit before faking a phone call where I asked this nonexistent person if I could have my appointment delayed by an hour and I acted like they said yes, I went back into the classroom and continued to work before heading home. When I got home I randomly decided to call Asherah because I felt like shit and it immediately went straight to voicemail. I looked up what it means when something goes straight to voicemail and two of the possibilities are either she blocked me or that she had do not disturb on. I did a bit more reading on do not disturb and decided to try an experiment, I put my Iphone on the charger in my room and had set do not disturb to be on, next I walked over to Enosh's door and knocked on his door, simply yelling for him to call my phone wouldn't work because viewing his phone while he called mine would be needed to confirm my belief that it was just do not disturb, he opened it up and I walked in a bit to ask him if he could call my phone because I "lost it", the room was an absolute mess with papers, garbage, and dirty laundry everywhere throughout. Enosh calls my phone and to my delight, it goes immediately to voicemail, making it possible that she did not block me. I then take a shower and immediately go to bed.

Song of the Day: Dawn Chorus - Thom Yorke (2019)
 
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