Serious flog blog blogington

[Aiabooysen]

The 2 first blogs of mine are le lost media (NIGGA THAT'S NUTS!)
Nothing happened, yesterday. (lie) I went to the movies to the new mission impossible and I have to say Tom Cruise probably has autism because he makes so many things hyperrealistic for no reason but also made no sense. Like the nuclear bombs being hyperrealistic and der submarine and the plane like he has a lot of small details autistic people like me would sperg over. But I don't super like it because it was pretty nonsense at the start, thoughbeit. For the rest of the day, I spent it playing strategy games and spent no time on soyjak party.

Also, I'm going to post my SHORT story related to the book I'm writing bcs I think it would suit this site better (It's pretty schizo depressing doe)

Aia laid down and hugged it so tightly, she didn’t know if anyone was thinking about her, but she hoped to everything that someone out there thought about her just for a second. She couldn’t stop crying, it pained her to be in this cycle, and she couldn’t stop it, so many promises she made to those she cared about, even more so herself. She just wanted someone to be thinking about her, desperately she wanted someone to think about her. Even if her skin was picked, cut, and cold, even if she looked like she was on drugs. “Just anyone, I just hope someone is, please please…”

 

[Aiabooysen]

Went to a funeral today for a patient I had, yesterday I went to church, so I was too busy to go on. Obviously a bit bummed out so not much to say, though I did find the soyjak gay event funny and wrote a green text.
>Did y’all hear that some scientist say this here vaccine done caused the plague?
^Oh please, Coach, if I hear one more conspiracy I’ll puke.
<I read a report that some labs cut corners—the shots might have triggered the mutation.
-=I swear I saw Dr. Soystein scribblin’ warnings about strange spikes before they rolled it out.-=
^So you’re telling me a syringe turned people into walking nightmares? Give me a break.
>If that needle brought this horde on, somebody’s head needs swimmin’ with the fish.
<Causin’ or not, we ain’t got time for blame we gotta clear a path and survive.
-=Well shoot, if the vax's worse than HIV, we’re just in one big pot of trouble.-=

and my book

I couldn’t bring myself to look at anything, just crying because I'm crying, because I know I wouldn't want to cry I am sorry I’m crying I love me, I don’t want to sob any more. I don't want to let go of this pillow, I don't want to let go of anyone ever again, I don’t want to let go of myself, I want to hold myself forever and never let go. Aia I love you so much, god please let me hear this please “In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, amen” please god let someone love me, please teach me to love me please please please.

I shouldn’t talk to myself, or people that aren’t there, it's like the saying “If you scream in an empty forest are you even screaming?” no point in doing it. There's not a point in doing a lot of things, I can choose to stay alone here or spend every hour working, I don’t want to work. I’m made for love I just want to spread joy and happiness, I'm sorry I didn't do that earlier, I’m sorry so so very sorry. I should just, go to sleep, I mean also laying and imagining a world of my own is also enjoyable, a world where I’m nice, but I am nice!

 

[3782]

Went to a funeral today for a patient I had, yesterday I went to church, so I was too busy to go on. Obviously a bit bummed out so not much to say, though I did find the soyjak gay event funny and wrote a green text.
>Did y’all hear that some scientist say this here vaccine done caused the plague?
^Oh please, Coach, if I hear one more conspiracy I’ll puke.
<I read a report that some labs cut corners—the shots might have triggered the mutation.
-=I swear I saw Dr. Soystein scribblin’ warnings about strange spikes before they rolled it out.-=
^So you’re telling me a syringe turned people into walking nightmares? Give me a break.
>If that needle brought this horde on, somebody’s head needs swimmin’ with the fish.
<Causin’ or not, we ain’t got time for blame we gotta clear a path and survive.
-=Well shoot, if the vax's worse than HIV, we’re just in one big pot of trouble.-=

and my book

I couldn’t bring myself to look at anything, just crying because I'm crying, because I know I wouldn't want to cry I am sorry I’m crying I love me, I don’t want to sob any more. I don't want to let go of this pillow, I don't want to let go of anyone ever again, I don’t want to let go of myself, I want to hold myself forever and never let go. Aia I love you so much, god please let me hear this please “In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, amen” please god let someone love me, please teach me to love me please please please.

I shouldn’t talk to myself, or people that aren’t there, it's like the saying “If you scream in an empty forest are you even screaming?” no point in doing it. There's not a point in doing a lot of things, I can choose to stay alone here or spend every hour working, I don’t want to work. I’m made for love I just want to spread joy and happiness, I'm sorry I didn't do that earlier, I’m sorry so so very sorry. I should just, go to sleep, I mean also laying and imagining a world of my own is also enjoyable, a world where I’m nice, but I am nice!

Patient?

 

[Aiabooysen]

Patient?

psychogist I'm like actually Dr soystein

 

[Aiabooysen]

nothing happened but work. also i got promoted! YAY!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. other than that it I gegged really hard at a soyjaks.party gartic phone game

The hours always rolled into days, into weeks, I swear I must be 28 years old now, I probably look 40, but I don’t want to see myself in the mirror. I’m sorry I hurt you body, I know you just want to stay alive for as long as possible, working every day so so very hard even after all these drugs. I just need to smoke, I need to go out and get food, god I need to take something I need to look alive. I’m going to have some Ritalin so I can talk straight and not FUCKING STUTTER ALL THE TIME.

Aia walked up to the store and rubbed her arm, she always wore a dress when going outside, even if people found it sad, she didn’t know though as Aia kept her dress clean. Her cuts on her upper arm and her pimple covered face ruined the overall look of her with the dress on, her hair was straightened as much as she could but with much poof. Aia walked with a slow movement, it could be incurred she was on drugs yet only somewhat because of her slowed yet deliberate grabbing of milk, bread, frozen food, and more prescription Ritalin. “Hopefully a larger dosage, please.”

The cashier stared at her. Obviously yet also unobviously thanks to the dress, she looked like a mix between a drug addict and a stay at home wife. That was what Aia could only wish to be right now compared to this, but eventually the cashier and the pharmacist with a few doctor notes got her Ritalin, unfortunately at the same dosage. It slowly wasn’t working as her body got used to it, and it was so easy to just take and go outside like she was happy again. “I like that they think I'm normal, I am normal! A normal, loving Aia.”

 

[3782]

nothing happened but work. also i got promoted! YAY!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. other than that it I gegged really hard at a soyjaks.party gartic phone game

The hours always rolled into days, into weeks, I swear I must be 28 years old now, I probably look 40, but I don’t want to see myself in the mirror. I’m sorry I hurt you body, I know you just want to stay alive for as long as possible, working every day so so very hard even after all these drugs. I just need to smoke, I need to go out and get food, god I need to take something I need to look alive. I’m going to have some Ritalin so I can talk straight and not FUCKING STUTTER ALL THE TIME.

Aia walked up to the store and rubbed her arm, she always wore a dress when going outside, even if people found it sad, she didn’t know though as Aia kept her dress clean. Her cuts on her upper arm and her pimple covered face ruined the overall look of her with the dress on, her hair was straightened as much as she could but with much poof. Aia walked with a slow movement, it could be incurred she was on drugs yet only somewhat because of her slowed yet deliberate grabbing of milk, bread, frozen food, and more prescription Ritalin. “Hopefully a larger dosage, please.”

The cashier stared at her. Obviously yet also unobviously thanks to the dress, she looked like a mix between a drug addict and a stay at home wife. That was what Aia could only wish to be right now compared to this, but eventually the cashier and the pharmacist with a few doctor notes got her Ritalin, unfortunately at the same dosage. It slowly wasn’t working as her body got used to it, and it was so easy to just take and go outside like she was happy again. “I like that they think I'm normal, I am normal! A normal, loving Aia.”

Why do you talk like a woman

 

[Aiabooysen]

i finally got a pc today and im pritieing all my fav games like captain gem!

I have almost no free time. I mean I lay all day but if I wasn’t laying than I would have all the free time I spend all my time just posting myself on forums… Getting treated like some tool or toy at the very least lets me have someone thinking about me, just thinking about me in any way is nice. I always get called a skeleton, but I'm happy they at least notice I look like one, but I hate when they ask me why I look like this! Just let me enjoy your company, please! Please. I didn’t mean to yell, I just get excited… I can’t control my PTSD, okay?

 

[Stephen]

i finally got a pc today and im pritieing all my fav games like captain gem!

I have almost no free time. I mean I lay all day but if I wasn’t laying than I would have all the free time I spend all my time just posting myself on forums… Getting treated like some tool or toy at the very least lets me have someone thinking about me, just thinking about me in any way is nice. I always get called a skeleton, but I'm happy they at least notice I look like one, but I hate when they ask me why I look like this! Just let me enjoy your company, please! Please. I didn’t mean to yell, I just get excited… I can’t control my PTSD, okay?

Geg the character is like us
Though I have to say the ptsd introduction feels a little out of place or weird

 

[Aiabooysen]

im sso addicted to my pc its crazy!

I just want to be allowed to do the things I want to do, but I can’t, it's not fair! It’s just not fair. I lay here all the time! All the time just waiting for something to happen, day to day and day to day that I have to deal with this. I only want to do things to make people happy, I want to call my friends and my partners and talk to them, flirt with them… ANYTHING. It’s not fair that I have all these conditions, I never did anything bad to- … … I am sorry, I deserve this.

 

[Aiabooysen]

not dead btw, im just gaming really hard. btw no my book isnt the a24 slow burn type thing you see here, dis is der short story

Aia woke up again, her head hurting, her hands aching. She spent all night again talking to people on her phone, right when she woke up she got mad, because she knew if any random person saw this they would think she is lonely and crazy. But she thought otherwise, people can love people far, far away, Aia does it certainly seems even if she seldom sees their faces. “People only see what their STUPID minds tell them to think, everything is objective. I just wish it wasn't I wish for so many things, so so many things I wish for, and I wish greatly to be loved in person.”

I barely ate, I used to love food even before all this, and I was just in college. I could swallow food because I had no worries, no stomach pain from the week-long panic attacks I would get when I see even a single pregnant woman. I can’t believe I killed so many people, and now they can’t have kids! Emma could’ve had kids, Diani could’ve had kids, Wilhelmina could’ve had kids, I could’ve had kids. I just wish I could stare down the barrel of a gun right now and have someone shoot me and relish in my body just RELISH ME someone, I just want someone to NEED ME.

I'm just so sad, just so, so sad. I have just a never ending pain from deep inside me, maybe I had this the whole time. A deep-seated, unmoving sadness, always there reminding me over and over. Just whenever I think about anything related to, god why did I think, why can I think. I just get paralysed and all I can say to people is “It's fine” there is never ever ever an excuse to quit! Unless you're a cripple, which I'm not! But every time I hear about those stupid FUCKING PEOPLE, I JUST CANT DO ANYTHING BUT HURT hurt hurt myself again and again. I need to cause myself real pain, I'm not some fuckin sissy that doesn't do stuff just because of my feelings.

I just, god the cracking of their skull, why did Emma do that what was wrong with her. Fucking gutted them on the spot, fuck did you scare anyway, you died to your own hands you FUCKING BITCH! YOU DIED AND NOW I HAVE NO ONE… everyone fucking died, probably because of me. Fucking retarded Aia, retard mean fucking worthless piece of shit fucking AIA fuck I HATE MYSELF I HATE ME I HATE ME SO MUCH I HATE ME. TAKE ME INSTEAD, JUST TAKE ME, TAKE! ME! God, I need to cut Aia, I need to DIG into that bitch stupid fucking Aia bitch, fuck her!

 

[Chudcell]

It's aia going to 'ack herself or smth

 

[Aiabooysen]

It's aia going to 'ack herself or smth

no one acks xemselves in my book bcs only leftists like that rnca

 

[Chudcell]

no one acks xemselves in my book bcs only leftists like that rnca

Nice, I'm looking to see how this develops

 

[Aiabooysen]

chao 4

Wilhelmina Liebenberg smiled at her friend, one of many she had at her work before leaving. She enjoyed the simple work of a line cook, and at the same time she could be around her friends who worked at the base. It was just pure good luck that they ended up near each other. She didn’t really know why the base was so much more active than usual, though she enjoyed seeing all the new faces there. But her shift was over, and now she had the rest of the day to spend it with her friends at a bar, all within a short bus distance, and thankfully a quiet ride most of the time. “If I don't include myself!”

When she got on the bus, she always sat at the front and fell asleep right there, the bus driver always woke her up at her spot anyway. The road was never busy or loud, which meant she always managed to arrive on time to her friend’s parties they always invited her to. Eventually Wilhelmina did arrive, and as expected was shaken by the bus driver that knew her well to wake up. She never cared much for dressing up or make-up when she went out, and her friends never asked her to, “so no need!”

Wilhelmina entered with a lot of unfamiliar faces at the bar, but eventually she got seen by her table and a smooth “Wil-hel-miiii-naaa” came from the table. She came up to it and smiled to everyone one of her friends with a glance, “You guys just love me don't you, just eat me up!” Her friends were made of only Boers, but a mix of women and men responded, all in their own ways. Laughter with nothing else, smiles of a more serious friendship, questions that already had known answers, and some chiming in with responses. She knew them well enough that Wilhelmina could swear she could imagine 8each one of them on their own, and knew each one's hobbies and wishes and hopes.

She remembered countless times she helped each one of her 13 friends, she didn't mind that they wouldn’t pay her back because Wilhelmina knew they wouldn't forget her good deeds. Though it did make dating quite hard, every one of her partners always complained they felt like friends, “I always try my hardest to spread joy!” But if God wanted her to have a boyfriend, He would’ve given her one. It was clear to Wilhelmina she needed to spread a little more joy to the world for her to get a gift like that. Attend more weddings, help with people's renovations, do her friend’s assignments and “probably listen instead of thinking all the time!”

Though people were listening, something about Wilhelmina made her some social genius, and in that she could tell that the people around her had an air of nervousness as two people entered the bar they were in. They were… recruiters? She was already in the military, so it did not occur to her why her friends would be so panicked about it. So Wilhelmina, the kind person she thought she was, decided to approach the two uniformed women and while walking towards them, she took note of both of them. One dressed in a suit, even if it was a bit unwieldy in a social environment, and the girl next to her in a sweater that looked much more comfortable, yet still not for socialising.

One sneezed loudly, directing it at the floor and not into her arm, before her friend it seemed held out her hand for Wilhelmina to shake, which she did. She held on tightly, as if signing a deal with just her eyes. “I’m Emma, I think I saw your face before-”. The women before Wilhelmina tried to smile at her. She finally let go of Wilhelmina’s hand as the other women stared intently at her waiting for Emma’s hand to latch off; once she did, the women did the same as Emma but with a smile. “I’m Aia, you seem nice!” in a cheerful tone she exclaimed. “I love new friends!”

But she may not want to have these “friends” if she considered the Grim Reaper a good friend, but even so she could happily have a drink with. After all that, Aia seemed to have hands as cold as a skeleton, skinny as one too, wearing a grim hoodie as well. “I hope she’s okay.” Clearly, both of them could see Wilhelmina’s slight frown and assumed it was her knowledge for what they were here for, but it wasn't, because both sides were unaware of each other's intentions. So Wilhelmina decided to be straightforward and ask, “Why are you here, you two?” in a teasing tone.

But Emma doesn’t tease, “WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION WHY WE ARE HERE!” And Wilhelmina flinched at the yelling, the whole bar went quiet as she sunk like a mouse compared to Emma’s words. With a slightly calmer tone she said “come on, SAY WHY” but Wilhelmina couldn’t. She wanted to cry, but her friends would see her as a coward. Despite this, she couldn't fight back owing to her job. Out of all her thoughts, Wilhelmina could only stammer out a weak, “sorry, ma’am.” The bat would’ve beat Emma to death on a normal day for what she said to her, but during war, those with more gold can drop not so golden words.

 

[Aiabooysen]

bat,............