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chrisgriffinirl said:
I read some stuff here and just want to say ur really strong man. I cant imagine having a loved one be ripped away from you in such an awful way.
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In all honesty her death ruined me. Maybe I’m just fragile but she was the only person who listened to me and willingly spoke to me and having her ripped away from me took away my ability to love, care and listen to people. It was like having your girlfriend and best friend ripped away from you in the same day.
I would’ve thrown my life away if the spawn of Satan that took her away from me was still alive. I would have killed him and I say that with 100% sincerity. There is no man or woman I hate more than that subhuman piece of trash. I feel comfort knowing that he is in the darkest loneliest part of hell and is being eternally tortured and skinned.
 
8doe said:
In all honesty her death ruined me. Maybe I’m just fragile but she was the only person who listened to me and willingly spoke to me and having her ripped away from me took away my ability to love, care and listen to people. It was like having your girlfriend and best friend ripped away from you in the same day.
I would’ve thrown my life away if the spawn of Satan that took her away from me was still alive. I would have killed him and I say that with 100% sincerity. There is no man or woman I hate more than that subhuman piece of trash. I feel comfort knowing that he is in the darkest loneliest part of hell and is being eternally tortured and skinned.
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You are not fragile, opposite, you are strong for going on and continuing to try and live your life. Your anger is completely justified
 
8doe said:
ever since my girlfriend was murdered and her killer took her own life right afterwards i've been thinking more and more about ACKing
i guess ironically enough the only things preventing me from doing it are the bernd hanging jaks i don't want to look like and say that as ridiculous as it sounds
i've been having dual enrollment where my high school sends me off to a college campus 5 times a week to take classes and it's taken WAY too much of a toll on me despite the several extra hours of free time contrary to regular high school
there have been a lot of things i've thought about doing to maybe cope and ease out the pain but each "method" has way too many fucking consequences and drawbacks. i've thought about maybe taking lifting more seriously and taking roids and perhaps hope the test boosts my mood and gives me extra gains o algo
and then the other less conventional option would've been to skip classes to go to a nature reserve and unwind but i live in an urban shithole where theres no trees for at least 10 miles out
i know killing myself won't solve shit and it'll just ruin the people around me, but i know for a fact that the person i was before that happened isn't there anymore and there is only a reflection of myself
physically i'm still alive and still breathing but everyone around me noticed a huge change in demeanor and now i don't think any of my friends want to talk to me anymore because of how shitty of a mood i'm always in
even when i'm locked up in my room and able to cope with some shit like games or music or art i get rudely interrupted by my family (who, i do care about) but they're always asking me for trivial shit
"can you grab me some water" or "can you help me with _" which i always do for them but sometimes it gets aggravating when i'm looking at pictures of my late girlfriend and reading her love letters to myself and i get called by my mom to ask to borrow something
life doesn't seem to be getting better, but i can only hope at this point

tl:dr my girlfriend is dead and it sucks
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I'm so sorry for your loss man I hope you're doing better now
 
Meal before bed
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