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8doe said:
I still have visions of her sometimes. I try not to talk about it too much. She's the source of my motivation most of the time. I have a heart locket she gave me last year and I wear it around my neck every day that I can. I make sure to take care of it and make sure it's not lost. I read love letters she gave me sometimes and I tear up a little bit.
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Did you think she was the perfect one? Did you two believe you would have a future as adults? It's fucking sad that little nigger bitch took her life, like why the fuck would someone do that???
 
Neal said:
Did you think she was the perfect one? Did you two believe you would have a future as adults? It's fucking sad that little nigger bitch took her life, like why the fuck would someone do that???
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Yes, I fully believed she was the love of my life. We met in elementary school and were basically best friends up until the day she died. I have a lot of hatred towards the politicians where I live because of what happened to her.
 
8doe said:
Yes, I fully believed she was the love of my life. We met in elementary school and were basically best friends up until the day she died. I have a lot of hatred towards the politicians where I live because of what happened to her.
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is it a shitty place full of crime, like Los Angeles or something?
 
Neal said:
is it a shitty place full of crime, like Los Angeles or something?
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She lived in a quiet suburb away from where all of the crime is. The guy who did it was supposed to have a restraining order active against him and he was supposed to be in jail. He paid bond and was out and about for 3 years before his court date which got rescheduled 4 times.
 
I'm not getting political, but I'm assuming it's some democrat right? I don't care, but usually it's democrats, and I did have a bad relationship with people like this growing up.
8doe said:
She lived in a quiet suburb away from where all of the crime is. The guy who did it was supposed to have a restraining order active against him and he was supposed to be in jail. He paid bond and was out and about for 3 years before his court date which got rescheduled 4 times.
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Neal said:
I'm not getting political, but I'm assuming it's some democrat right? I don't care, but usually it's democrats, and I did have a bad relationship with people like this growing up.
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All democrats. I've thought about doing something about it but all I can ever do is write and sob.
 
Just ignore that last message, like I'm pissed at that bitch who tf is this nigger? No way this nigger took his life after that shit you oughta square up with him if he never took the pussy way out.
8doe said:
She lived in a quiet suburb away from where all of the crime is. The guy who did it was supposed to have a restraining order active against him and he was supposed to be in jail. He paid bond and was out and about for 3 years before his court date which got rescheduled 4 times.
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Neal said:
Just ignore that last message, like I'm pissed at that bitch who tf is this nigger? No way this nigger took his life after that shit you oughta square up with him if he never took the pussy way out.
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I swear to God if he didn't kill himself I would have murdered him and went to jail
 
8doe said:
I swear to God if he didn't kill himself I would have murdered him and went to jail
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Do you think you'll stay single for the rest of your life after that. I'm not joking, if she was that close to you it's fucking hard getting with another person.
 
Neal said:
Do you think you'll stay single for the rest of your life after that. I'm not joking, if she was that close to you it's fucking hard getting with another person.
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I've tried to get into relationships to desperately scrub the past away but it never works and I feel like shit doing it. I'm not interested in anything like that, and to be honest, I don't know when I'll really be ready for something like that again. I just feel bad for the women who are interested in me because they try to care about me but I (unintentonally) don't reciprocate because my heart only belongs to her.
 
8doe said:
I've tried to get into relationships to desperately scrub the past away but it never works and I feel like shit doing it. I'm not interested in anything like that, and to be honest, I don't know when I'll really be ready for something like that again. I just feel bad for the women who are interested in me because they try to care about me but I (unintentonally) don't reciprocate because my heart only belongs to her.
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For some reason I believe those that marry another person after their previous partner dies are traitors. It's just my head, don't assume I genuinely think of you if you decide to do that.
 
Neal said:
For some reason I believe those that marry another person after their previous partner dies are traitors. It's just my head, don't assume I genuinely think of you if you decide to do that.
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It feels like that 100%. It's awful. I don't think I'll ever be romantically available because of it. It's been almost a year and I still have nightmares and visions.
 
8doe said:
It feels like that 100%. It's awful. I don't think I'll ever be romantically available because of it. It's been almost a year and I still have nightmares and visions.
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I want to laugh at you for being a pussy but are you getting help for that. I can't even imagine if that happened to me.
 
I have some sort of disorder or something please know I'm not thinking of you as a loser. I actually feel sorry for what happened to you and her.
 
Neal said:
I want to laugh at you for being a pussy but are you getting help for that. I can't even imagine if that happened to me.
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I'm not getting help because last time I tried getting help for a mental problem the psychologists brought me to urgent care and locked me in there for 5 hours
I can heal on my own.
 
8doe said:
i need to seriously get my shit together
i need to get back into the gym, do wrestling, meal prep, etc
i don't know where to start but i know i need to start within the next few days, and to be honest, today seems like the best time to at least see where to go from here
wish me luck
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Start by waking up at 6am
 
8doe said:
I'm not getting help because last time I tried getting help for a mental problem the psychologists brought me to urgent care and locked me in there for 5 hours
I can heal on my own.
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had the same shit happen to me. Got sent to the office a potentially "violent" incident. Wasted my whole day being questioned by a bunch of retards with computers typing every little shit.
 
Like the little bitch vice principals don't even care about me. They just went to an important meeting and had someone watch me. I could here them like "so this kid was blah blah blah school shooting surprised face surprised face" what the fuck.
 
Whatever man, I hope you can heal from that experience. Can't imagine being with someone for most of your childhood and some complete random ruins everything.
 
8doe said:
I've tried to get into relationships to desperately scrub the past away but it never works and I feel like shit doing it. I'm not interested in anything like that, and to be honest, I don't know when I'll really be ready for something like that again. I just feel bad for the women who are interested in me because they try to care about me but I (unintentonally) don't reciprocate because my heart only belongs to her.
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I feel as if that nigger raped her. I don’t want to ask that question, but I want to get it out
 
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