Serious Schlog users how would you get a girlfriend?

Designates a thread as a serious discussion
I'd act as if I'm going to ask her out, then go
"So, uh, d-do you, uh, wanna be m-my friend?" I'd guilt-trip her into going to the movies with me because I'm alone and have no fwends. (Major point of failure here is that the cinema needs to be playing kino, I'm not watching goyslop) Afterwards exchange muh social media and ghost her.
I'll still talk when I meet her irl, but act normal (Closest thing I can manage is staying silent and asking her questions.) stopping the desperation act.
Now around this point she'll probably figure out I lied to her, and that I did have buddies I could've gone with, there are two possible responses she could have: She either 1) puts 2 and 2 together and figures out I actually liked her or 2) she's stupid and/or autistic and is genuinely confused.
In case 1) she'll confront me about it (regardless of whether she likes me or not). If she doesn't like me, I'll tell her it was a practical joke, apologize, and ask her out again right after as an apology. I let her decide this time.
If she does like me I'll admit it and same as before, ask her out on a 2nd date.
In case 2) I'm not interested and let the relationship die down and write a 3000-word story about raping her like all my other (former) crushes.

Now this is a convoluted strategy, but the only things I've got going for me is that I'm intriguing as long as I keep my mouth shut and do not reveal the rotten breath and infinite horror crawling under my skin, and that I can act pretty ok. By the time I ask her out a second time I'll probably know what she likes and morph into that.
 
dashcam video of me killing criminals or probably a fight or just normal average things
 
Last edited:
baqqrih said:

Vocaroo | Online voice recorder

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Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
Godspeed, dude [wholesome]
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
1725475541813s.png

W in the chat please
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
you deserve it man I'm hoping you and her have a great life together
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
It glistens
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
A schlogg user getting a wife? This is amazing and exciting
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
Nice buddy
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
Also congratulations dude
 
baqqrih said:
Today has been absolutely wonderful. She said yes, and we’ll be dining together at a restaurant in the area Saturday evening as our first date. She’s such a beautiful blessing, and may God be praised for allowing me to succeed in this endeavor, guiding my words even as my heart still speedily thudded in nervousness the few minutes before I went and spoke with her. It’s still hard to believe that I’m actually in love, now, with someone so lovely, who I can relate to so well with our common interests. I haven’t felt this happy in a very long while. Such a splendid feeling!
Click to expand...
FUCK YES. Excuse my french, but..
YOU DID IT MAN!!!
I will pray for you today that everything goes alright for you on Saturday. God is good!
 
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