- Joined
- Mar 6, 2024
- Messages
- 345
Picture this. It is the near-future, and you just died; i dunno probably some IRL shittoko looking fuck jumped off a building and took you out with him by landing on you while you were out in the inner city for business.
<[REDDIT SPACE]
When you dieded, you are informed of what comes after by some incomprehensible entity (OMG JUST LIKE MY INCOMPREHENSABLE WOAJACKS!!). You weren't virtuous enough for Aryanheaven, but you weren't a big enough foodist pissbaby for Niggerhell either. Your relatives don't want to deal with you in their eternal peace and love NDE circlejerk, and God (singular, abrahamic) says they're full after billions of africans and brazilians started banging at their door (evendoe just make more room dumbass). Its over.
However, on account of having spent more than 1000 hours obsessing over the soysphere award, you are to be allowed into Soyhalla for your foreseeable eternity.![Huh [huh] [huh]](/data/assets/smilies/huhson.png)

<[REDDIT SPACE]
Among other things, there are rivers of Soylent and Sproke. You will see many IRL soyjaks and other IAS native to this realm like slopjaks and fingerboys. Everyone gets a free Nintendo Switch and Funko Pops grow on trees. Jefre Cantu-Ledesma and various soy parodies can be heard playing in the background if you listen hard enough on a quiet day. Cockroaches are milkable (praise the science!). The moid to foid ratio is something like 100:1 and even thats a generous estimate. There is earthly internet, but the only websites it has are soysphere ones - everything else is gone. The latest soysphere post from the mortal world was from May 2056 on the SoyBooru, after which everything cuts off.
<[REDDIT SPACE]
If you die here, you're le heccin' dead forever, because The Soyience debunked the eternal soul because we're all just chemical reactions inside sacks of meat on a rock made of stardust going really fast and nothing matters and g*d isn't real and neither is free will. Or are you? Hmm? But you got here in the first place, so this proves something at least?
<[REDDIT SPACE]
What would you do in this situation? Are you in heaven, or have you been consigned to hell?
<[REDDIT SPACE]
When you dieded, you are informed of what comes after by some incomprehensible entity (OMG JUST LIKE MY INCOMPREHENSABLE WOAJACKS!!). You weren't virtuous enough for Aryanheaven, but you weren't a big enough foodist pissbaby for Niggerhell either. Your relatives don't want to deal with you in their eternal peace and love NDE circlejerk, and God (singular, abrahamic) says they're full after billions of africans and brazilians started banging at their door (evendoe just make more room dumbass). Its over.
However, on account of having spent more than 1000 hours obsessing over the soysphere award, you are to be allowed into Soyhalla for your foreseeable eternity.
![Huh [huh] [huh]](/data/assets/smilies/huhson.png)

<[REDDIT SPACE]
Among other things, there are rivers of Soylent and Sproke. You will see many IRL soyjaks and other IAS native to this realm like slopjaks and fingerboys. Everyone gets a free Nintendo Switch and Funko Pops grow on trees. Jefre Cantu-Ledesma and various soy parodies can be heard playing in the background if you listen hard enough on a quiet day. Cockroaches are milkable (praise the science!). The moid to foid ratio is something like 100:1 and even thats a generous estimate. There is earthly internet, but the only websites it has are soysphere ones - everything else is gone. The latest soysphere post from the mortal world was from May 2056 on the SoyBooru, after which everything cuts off.
<[REDDIT SPACE]
If you die here, you're le heccin' dead forever, because The Soyience debunked the eternal soul because we're all just chemical reactions inside sacks of meat on a rock made of stardust going really fast and nothing matters and g*d isn't real and neither is free will. Or are you? Hmm? But you got here in the first place, so this proves something at least?
<[REDDIT SPACE]
What would you do in this situation? Are you in heaven, or have you been consigned to hell?