- Thread starter MoonMetropolis
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Kill yourself faggot
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What was ur poison? Also you dont ever stop being a drug addict geg.
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At the time, LSD and K.
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Hi, Elon.
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Recently, I've been trying to watch at least one feature film from every country that has made one. As such, I've watched a lot of films that I would not have watched if not for them having been made in a particular country. Here are the last 10 ones that I've watched:
Policë për kokë (2023) - A buddy cop crime comedy from Albania, with a rookie young cop who wants to live up to his dead father's reputation being teamed up with a loose cannon detective who nobody else wants to work with as they aim to shut down a crime ring that goes all the way to the top of Albania's government. No, this is definitely not winning any awards for originality, but, all things considered, it's a decent, well-made film that generally avoids the kind of obnoxious, juvenile humor usually found in American films of this sort. 6/10.
Pensive (a.k.a. We Might Hurt Each Other) (2022) - A lame Lithuanian teen slasher film that piles on the cliches, with a group of partying high school graduates in a remote cabin in the woods (which was previously owned by an unhinged killer) destroying the creepy wooden sculptures that the killer had left there and then predictably being hunted down by a masked killer. Yawn. While made with a certain degree of technical skill, this is just a routine slasher flick with nothing new or interesting to offer. 3/10.
Ayiti Mon Amour (2016) - This Haitian drama is described on IMDb as such: "A magical fable weaves together the lives of three different people in Haiti five years after a devastating earthquake." Yeah, sure. In actuality, it's just a bunch of random vignettes that alternate between a teenage weeaboo who seems to have some sort of electicity-conducting power, fishermen trying to catch fish, students marching against the government, a writer trying to write a book while his female muse whispers in his ear, a pair of lovers (I think) spouting poetry and dancing, and other randomness. Unfortunately, it all doesn't really add up to much of anything, and the only interesting thing about it is the Haitian setting. And, until I watched this film, I did not know that weeaboos existed in Haiti, so there's that, at least. 4/10.
Before the Rooster Crows (2016) - A Puerto Rican drama - supposedly a coming-of-age tale - that profiles a 14-year-old girl and the creepy, incestuous relationship that she has with her father, who was recently released from prison. While there are plenty of squirm-inducing moments in this film (and young actress Miranda Purcell turns in a stellar performance as the confused teenage girl), there is no real insight of any sort provided, and the whole thing feels rather pointless and empty. 4/10.
Seven Freckles (1978) - Another teen coming-of-age drama, this one from East Germany, but a much more conventional (and cliched) story about two young lovers at summer camp who end up playing Romeo and Juliet in the camp play (after lots of melodrama, of course). Standard, run-of-the-mill '70s European schmaltz, of interest only for having been made in East Germany. 4/10.
Children of God (2010) - A Bahamian plea against homophobia, following two gay lovers - from very different cultural and ethnic backgrounds - who are forced to confront the intolerance of Bahamian society, including a prominent anti-gay preacher who, unsurprisingly, is a closeted gay man himself. While certainly not original and more than a bit preachy, the film is boosted by tender, heartfelt performances and surprisingly fleshed out characters that ring true. 6/10.
Diablo Rojo PTY (2019) - Panama's first horror film, but definitely not conventional mainstream horror. This is anything-goes surreal insanity that throws a million different crazy things at the wall to create truly WTF cinema that will surely be of interest to cult movie aficionados. There's a neon bus driver, a priest armed with holy water, cannibals in a jungle, witches whose weakness is marijuana smoke, creatures from local folklore, and plenty more random weirdness. Unfortunately, however, while this film is certainly unique, it is not very good, failing to work on any level. The script is very random and frequently marked by jarring shifts in tone. One minute, we're watching telenovela-style melodramatic soap opera and, the next minute, we're watching witches kill and eat a baby. For cultural context (not that it makes much difference): according to local folklore, by the time they are 33, Panamanian witches must commit an act of evil worse than eating a baby. Also, La Tulivieja is a short woman whose breasts are so full that she must drag them around, followed by ants that drink the milk. 4/10.
Cats of Malta (2023) - In case the title didn't give it away, this is a Maltese documentary about - yep, you guessed it - cats in Malta. We follow cat colonies, cat feeders, artists inspired by the island nation's abundant stray cats, and so forth. The film is pleasant enough, although nothing about it is particularly remarkable or memorable. This certainly could have had a lot more depth and poignancy rather than just being charming fluff. 5/10.
What is Buried Must Remain (2022) - A Lebanese found footage horror film about a trio of young filmmakers attempting to make a documentary about an infamous haunted house, with predictable results. The film was acted entirely by Syrian refugees with no acting experience - and, boy, does it show. While the acting is often cheesy and the script very cliched, the film still manages to rise above standard found footage slop, with the director making skilled use of his low budget to craft fairly effective atmospheric horror peppered with equally effective moments of drama. All in all, not bad for what it is, despite its considerable flaws. 5/10.
Lengthy Night (2018) - An Armenian drama telling three different stories set in three different time periods, each one revolving around someone who owned the same spherical stone: the first one an abusive jerk in modern Armenia taking a long drive with his wife as he verbally and physically abuses her, the second one a man fleeing the Armenian genocide with his family (but leaving one relative behind), and the third one a hunter in ancient times. Wolves are used for symbolism in all three stories as well, but, much like with the spherical stone, the symbolism is completely meaningless; nothing actually links these stories together in any meaningful way. None of the stories have any real point either, nor do they have any of the power that these stories could have had with a more developed script. Solid production design and good performances can't elevate this film to anything more than a failed (but noble) effort. 4/10.
Policë për kokë (2023) - A buddy cop crime comedy from Albania, with a rookie young cop who wants to live up to his dead father's reputation being teamed up with a loose cannon detective who nobody else wants to work with as they aim to shut down a crime ring that goes all the way to the top of Albania's government. No, this is definitely not winning any awards for originality, but, all things considered, it's a decent, well-made film that generally avoids the kind of obnoxious, juvenile humor usually found in American films of this sort. 6/10.
Pensive (a.k.a. We Might Hurt Each Other) (2022) - A lame Lithuanian teen slasher film that piles on the cliches, with a group of partying high school graduates in a remote cabin in the woods (which was previously owned by an unhinged killer) destroying the creepy wooden sculptures that the killer had left there and then predictably being hunted down by a masked killer. Yawn. While made with a certain degree of technical skill, this is just a routine slasher flick with nothing new or interesting to offer. 3/10.
Ayiti Mon Amour (2016) - This Haitian drama is described on IMDb as such: "A magical fable weaves together the lives of three different people in Haiti five years after a devastating earthquake." Yeah, sure. In actuality, it's just a bunch of random vignettes that alternate between a teenage weeaboo who seems to have some sort of electicity-conducting power, fishermen trying to catch fish, students marching against the government, a writer trying to write a book while his female muse whispers in his ear, a pair of lovers (I think) spouting poetry and dancing, and other randomness. Unfortunately, it all doesn't really add up to much of anything, and the only interesting thing about it is the Haitian setting. And, until I watched this film, I did not know that weeaboos existed in Haiti, so there's that, at least. 4/10.
Before the Rooster Crows (2016) - A Puerto Rican drama - supposedly a coming-of-age tale - that profiles a 14-year-old girl and the creepy, incestuous relationship that she has with her father, who was recently released from prison. While there are plenty of squirm-inducing moments in this film (and young actress Miranda Purcell turns in a stellar performance as the confused teenage girl), there is no real insight of any sort provided, and the whole thing feels rather pointless and empty. 4/10.
Seven Freckles (1978) - Another teen coming-of-age drama, this one from East Germany, but a much more conventional (and cliched) story about two young lovers at summer camp who end up playing Romeo and Juliet in the camp play (after lots of melodrama, of course). Standard, run-of-the-mill '70s European schmaltz, of interest only for having been made in East Germany. 4/10.
Children of God (2010) - A Bahamian plea against homophobia, following two gay lovers - from very different cultural and ethnic backgrounds - who are forced to confront the intolerance of Bahamian society, including a prominent anti-gay preacher who, unsurprisingly, is a closeted gay man himself. While certainly not original and more than a bit preachy, the film is boosted by tender, heartfelt performances and surprisingly fleshed out characters that ring true. 6/10.
Diablo Rojo PTY (2019) - Panama's first horror film, but definitely not conventional mainstream horror. This is anything-goes surreal insanity that throws a million different crazy things at the wall to create truly WTF cinema that will surely be of interest to cult movie aficionados. There's a neon bus driver, a priest armed with holy water, cannibals in a jungle, witches whose weakness is marijuana smoke, creatures from local folklore, and plenty more random weirdness. Unfortunately, however, while this film is certainly unique, it is not very good, failing to work on any level. The script is very random and frequently marked by jarring shifts in tone. One minute, we're watching telenovela-style melodramatic soap opera and, the next minute, we're watching witches kill and eat a baby. For cultural context (not that it makes much difference): according to local folklore, by the time they are 33, Panamanian witches must commit an act of evil worse than eating a baby. Also, La Tulivieja is a short woman whose breasts are so full that she must drag them around, followed by ants that drink the milk. 4/10.
Cats of Malta (2023) - In case the title didn't give it away, this is a Maltese documentary about - yep, you guessed it - cats in Malta. We follow cat colonies, cat feeders, artists inspired by the island nation's abundant stray cats, and so forth. The film is pleasant enough, although nothing about it is particularly remarkable or memorable. This certainly could have had a lot more depth and poignancy rather than just being charming fluff. 5/10.
What is Buried Must Remain (2022) - A Lebanese found footage horror film about a trio of young filmmakers attempting to make a documentary about an infamous haunted house, with predictable results. The film was acted entirely by Syrian refugees with no acting experience - and, boy, does it show. While the acting is often cheesy and the script very cliched, the film still manages to rise above standard found footage slop, with the director making skilled use of his low budget to craft fairly effective atmospheric horror peppered with equally effective moments of drama. All in all, not bad for what it is, despite its considerable flaws. 5/10.
Lengthy Night (2018) - An Armenian drama telling three different stories set in three different time periods, each one revolving around someone who owned the same spherical stone: the first one an abusive jerk in modern Armenia taking a long drive with his wife as he verbally and physically abuses her, the second one a man fleeing the Armenian genocide with his family (but leaving one relative behind), and the third one a hunter in ancient times. Wolves are used for symbolism in all three stories as well, but, much like with the spherical stone, the symbolism is completely meaningless; nothing actually links these stories together in any meaningful way. None of the stories have any real point either, nor do they have any of the power that these stories could have had with a more developed script. Solid production design and good performances can't elevate this film to anything more than a failed (but noble) effort. 4/10.
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