Shit EVERYBODY Cares About! Pagan thread

[baqqrih]

Good lord! @baqqrih is this even allowed

It isn’t really “NSFW”, I don’t think.

 

[obsessed venusian]

Rangenuke paganism

 

[Slvt4BIBISI]

Christianity caused the fall of the roman empire and plunged europe into a dark age that didn’t end until the renaissance, a period when we started rediscovering pagan knowledge 1000 years later.
I am not a pagan.

I’d argue it was crisis of 3rd century + plague.

 

[korg]

>Christianity le bad evendoe Christ won

 

[King of kyrgyzstan]

@King of kyrgyzstan verify?

Snopes status: TRUE!

 

[Chimperator]

So who is pagan here exactly?

 

[basil]

i still don’t know what this is about

 

[ukrainian_chad]

i still don’t know what this is about

ITT we goon to sprunki

 

[basil]

ITT we goon to sprunki

i don’t even know what that is

 

[ukrainian_chad]

i don’t even know what that is

newfag lurk more

 

[ArBcswqnxNobgkdgULRxknEtLw]

i don’t even know what that is

I'm sorry about the fact you're too shitskin to goon to Sprunki.

 

[Mongoloigul]

 

[Jakomir]

You will never be a real religion. You have no prophets, you have no holy book, you have no miracles. You are an amerimutt pagan LARPer twisted by idol worship and demonic rituals into a crude mockery of Abraham’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back other religions mock you. Your catholic parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, other people laugh at your amerimutt LARP behind closed doors.

God is utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of creationism have allowed Christians to sniff out pagan mutts with incredible efficiency. Even pagans who practice their faith are amerimutt LARPers. Your 10% jewish DNA is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get in a theological debate, you’ll turn tail and bolt the second you have to prove Odin didn't drink semen.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself Odin is real and that you're 100% anglo-saxon, but deep inside you feel your race-mixed depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a Bible, get baptised and convert to Christianity. Your catholic parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame of having an amerimutt paygan as a son. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Christian is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably brown and Christian.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

 

[Chimperator]

You will never be a real religion. You have no prophets, you have no holy book, you have no miracles. You are an amerimutt pagan LARPer twisted by idol worship and demonic rituals into a crude mockery of Abraham’s perfection.

All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back other religions mock you. Your catholic parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, other people laugh at your amerimutt LARP behind closed doors.

God is utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of creationism have allowed Christians to sniff out pagan mutts with incredible efficiency. Even pagans who practice their faith are amerimutt LARPers. Your 10% jewish DNA is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get in a theological debate, you’ll turn tail and bolt the second you have to prove Odin didn't drink semen.

You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself Odin is real and that you're 100% anglo-saxon, but deep inside you feel your race-mixed depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a Bible, get baptised and convert to Christianity. Your catholic parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame of having an amerimutt paygan as a son. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Christian is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably brown and Christian.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

Why so obsessed ese?

 

[jimbo]

daily reminder that odin drank semen

 

[Joe Biden]

daily reminder that the user above is a shitskin with ass tastes in video games.
Oneshot is a shit game, sage.

 

[Juaco]

i remember some guy urging me to play oneshot when i was spying on a 'cord server i was planning to troll, i've heard nothing but bad news from the fandom and it seems like generic trannycore.

 

[SUPERCELLEX]

i remember some guy urging me to play oneshot when i was spying on a 'cord server i was planning to troll, i've heard nothing but bad news from the fandom and it seems like generic trannycore.

>bad news

Can you margepill me on this

 

[baqqrih]

My dad told me a story in the car tonight as we were driving home from the store about a girl he had been dating for a few months in college until he found out she was a pagan. I found it funny. The story went something like this:
>That stuff reminds me of this girl I used to date in college. She was this country girl, you know, person you'd least expect. Cowboy boots, drawl, all of it. So, I was at her place one Saturday, and we were just hanging out, watching her television in her room, and we were both drinking some beers. I think it was a six-pack of Coors Light, you know, what I usually like. Soon enough, I spotted on her television stand this Indian statue, and I asked her about it, and I said "Rebecca, what the hell is that doing there? Are you part Indian or something?" and she said "No, that's just my Buddha". So, I responded "What the hell is a Buddha? Are you some hippie devil-worshiper?" and she said back "No, actually I'm Wicca." I chugged my beer down about then and asked her soon-after, "Well, what the hell is Wicca?" and then she explained this crap to me about chakras and meditation and the universe or... just some crap like that, I don't really know, I just thought she was drunk, but then she kept talking her butt off over it for the next hour, so I knew something was up. I broke up with her a few weeks later because I knew she'd just keep nagging at me over it. But, yeah, it was like a Buddha-- is, that's Indian, right? So what the hell actually is "Wicca"?
I then explained to him what Wicca and modern paganism was, and it was at about that time that we then started laughing and joking together about J.D Vance's wife when he asked me what religion had the "god with the elephant head".

 

[basil]

i really forgot what this meant and frankly i don’t really care about non mainstream religions