BurundianAryanReverend
Nusoicaca
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2025
- Messages
- 72
There is no real good way to preface this, if I'm being honest. I tried journaling for my own sake a couple months back but inexplicably my life got busy when I was in a precarious situation involving work and I sort of forgot about it. Hopefully, this works out better. The problem is that I get a really good idea to write but it ends up being so intimate I can't, or I'm unable to properly articulate the words. I joined the Ranger Selection Process in the U.S. Army, and arrived in late February. I am told that it will be at least a month before I get through RASP 1 and out of PRERASP. I've never been an emotional person but I haven't been at my house, or with my family since the 4th of January, and for the first time in my life I wish there was a place I felt at peace. For me, it isn't at home, it wasn't at school, and obviously it isn't here. Sometimes, I get moments of clarity, or rather serenity, when the world comes to a standstill, and the sun shines in a certain direction, but God doesn't make every day so, which is ok. I'm starting to think I wasn't destined to feel at home anywhere, an incorporeal wanderer everywhere he ever went. Maybe, I just feel trapped on posts for months at a time, if I had it my way I'd wander forever. Interestingly, I often dream, and think about deserts, I have all my life, I wonder if that ties into it. Anyway, the first few days have been normal, we arrived after a 10 hour bus ride through the night, just in time for breakfast chow. Although later that day we got the infamous ranger hit times during layouts, and then put on the worm, an equally infamous tool of the rangers, a 300 pound exercise bag that's 10 feet in length. Of the 16 I arrived with, our numbers have halfed in people who were dropped. The thing is that RASP is the entry level of "exclusionary" schooling in the army, outside overt physical stress, the sergeants will use an insidious handful of tools, such as coaxing candidates with flowery language of how they can be good soldiers without being rangers, intimidating candidates with shoving or whatever, and testing the absolute limits of patience an individual can have, among others. I, for one, believe in an honor culture unbeknownst to everyone but me, so I won't quit, they'll have to drop me. Being outside of training doctrine is fun doe, I watched a guy down a bottle crown apple on Sunday and puke in the showers, unheard of at AIT or BCT. I hope I can distinguish myself from my peers, who I of course have an intense dislike with, as I did pretty much everywhere else. 90% of all junior enlisted are annoying welfare leaches that say/do nothing but collect a paycheck, they are the WORST examples of the 18-30 age bracket. All representative of their respective archetype, but exacerbated by whatever character flaw made them join the military. Imagine high school cliques but taken to a disgusting extreme. NCO's are all xillennials who were mindbroken by the GWOT and retreated into an effete careerism. Even the ones on deployment right now don't treat in an acceptable way, it's just a way to get a cool service ribbon and combat pay for them. Maybe at a different point the attitude was different but it's easy to imagine why the US doesn't win wars in the middle east with servicemen like this. This is just the natural conclusion of an erosion of everything people lived for in the past, it's not like I didn't expect this really. I may go into this later if people care but it's just my two cents. I want to try to learn the secret art of good leadership, I wonder how well they get into that here. I've been rereading harassment architecture in the last few days, I think people always slept on Mr. Ma, even all these years later. Anyway that was some embarrassing information about me PLEASE DONT MAKE FUN OF ME FOR IT or something
