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Schizo My autoandrophilia/pooner urges [REVAMPED INTRO]

Post thread
Your new foreword indicates you are working to conquer the AAP, which sounds good and I am glad for. However your new post is worrisome, especially with how the aap interacts with your psyche. It almost feels like a demonic child, trying to negotiate through piecemeal concessions like smooth hands, or throwing temper tantrums giving you random pains and whatnot. Hope you can ward it off eventually, as long as the meds dont melt your brain in the process.
I do find the slithering seething odd doe. Stimming causing a trance that leads to you becoming angry and bitter? It doesnt even seem demonic but rather that you have some sort of mental disorder. Do the meds help prevent it? Or do they have some side effect that eggs it on? I'd be fine with letting someone try and ward off wanting to stim, though I don't know what exactly you could do to prevent it.
I hope you do get better soon, and I hope you are able to recover a better sense of self from it all.
 
Soyteen Liker said:
What started off as a relatively straightforward sexual immorality became a tale of insanity and potentially even demonic influence. This thread is not to encourage delusions of gender ideology, but quite the opposite. Transvestites tend to brag about "oh how happy becoming a degenerate made me!" despite every sign pointing towards quite the opposite. My tale is one of wary, I need everyone to see that this is a path of misery if not resisted - and that there is a way out without destroying one's body, soul, and spirit. Hopefully I will conquer this false-self and be set free. I'm Soyteen Liker and this is my story.
--
@Steve to not derail the other thread. It's *technically* not a fetish as being a man doesn't arouse me sexually but it's basically the equivalent of AGP in every other way
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Meursault was dating this?
 
Stephen said:
It almost feels like a demonic child, trying to negotiate through piecemeal concessions like smooth hands, or throwing temper tantrums giving you random pains and whatnot. Hope you can ward it off eventually, as long as the meds dont melt your brain in the process.
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Yeah, I've been trying to avoid the trance and my hand hurts a lot right now.
Stephen said:
Stimming causing a trance that leads to you becoming angry and bitter? It doesnt even seem demonic but rather that you have some sort of mental disorder. Do the meds help prevent it? Or do they have some side effect that eggs it on? I'd be fine with letting someone try and ward off wanting to stim, though I don't know what exactly you could do to prevent it.
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The trance feeds the attachment which leads me to become angry and bitter is what I meant. The meds significantly decrease it though but have their own side effects.
Iberius said:
Meursault was dating this?
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dude don't be a dick, I made an update specifically to deboonk the "This is a degenerate thread" allegations
 
Soyteen Liker said:
I have updated the OP with a foreword about why I made this thread and why I'm still continuing it. I've been free of physical sexual pleasure since roughly mid-February, so about 100 days or so. It seems that the AAP attachment/demon/incubus/"him"/it is still trying to influence me in strange ways. I still feel it's "penis" overlaying onto my body and sometimes making my hands smooth when I think about banishing it or strengthening my relationship with God. Sometimes my hands even feel physical pain when it really wants to influence me. I actually did a few prayers with my mom a while back but it didn't make a dent in making the attachment go away. I don't know why. Nothing I do seems to weaken it, all I can really do is avoid things that strengthen it. I am unsure of if it attached itself to me around 7th grade or if it was lying dormant before that point. Either way, I don't know where it came from or how to get rid of it. It's genuinely taken so much from me even besides making me want to become a transvestite, I have to take extremely powerful psychotropic medications to calm down the irrational and undirected rage I feel when it takes over without the medications. To put it in simple terms, it wants to "rape, kill, and destroy everyone and everything" out of nowhere. I don't say that because it's "cool or edgy" or whatever, it's quite frightening but it blocks my access to that worry.

It strikes me that it went away, or was significantly decreased when I was dating Meursault. I really did want to be his wife and still love him... but the evil attachment took over and tried to possess me again. It creates a problem and tries to position a false solution to the problem it creates. I recently told someone else close to me that I would receive vauge imprintings of messages from it when I would rock back and forth ("stimming") to the point of pseudo-hypnosis. It... really hates innocence and is full of malice and envy. Sometimes this feeling bleeds through me and gives me an emotion I can only describe as "slithering seething" - it feels like what I imagine drives a psychopath to dehumanize others and take advantage of them. I wonder if that's what people sense when they say I'm revolting. Other people here have been lascivious gooners but I seem to get strange comments and genuine hatred instead of mockery. I wonder if I should stop trying to communicate with it. It can't really hurt to try, but I need a push to stop because I'm honestly addicted to letting it melt myself away. The feeling I get from stimming - it goes further than just rocking back and forth - is that dreams and imagination start to bleed through me when they typically don't. It's why I don't read fiction anymore, I can't imagine much of anything without getting the urge to stim.

I don't think I stimmed with my whole torso until it came around. What a coincidence... or is it? I must cease this.
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This sounds extremely serious. This could definitely make you troon out and ack.
You should probably isolate yourself from social media or your electronics and spend your time praying. It seems like the "attachment's" behaviors get worse when you're around degenerate slop, which is extremely common on the internet. Evil spirits want humans to be afraid of them and take them seriously, and evil spirits are extremely terrified of any Christian symbolism or imagery. As for the "stimming" part, try to not engage in things that are entertaining to you. Eat food that is nutritious, but plain and bland, and like I said before, spend a lot of your time praying. This is the last thing these evil spirits want, and it will not be easy. In fact, it might be painful, but it could help you in some way or completely cure you.
I am not a "professional" on this issue but this is my best advice.
 
Soyteen Liker said:
I have updated the OP with a foreword about why I made this thread and why I'm still continuing it. I've been free of physical sexual pleasure since roughly mid-February, so about 100 days or so. It seems that the AAP attachment/demon/incubus/"him"/it is still trying to influence me in strange ways. I still feel it's "penis" overlaying onto my body and sometimes making my hands smooth when I think about banishing it or strengthening my relationship with God. Sometimes my hands even feel physical pain when it really wants to influence me. I actually did a few prayers with my mom a while back but it didn't make a dent in making the attachment go away. I don't know why. Nothing I do seems to weaken it, all I can really do is avoid things that strengthen it. I am unsure of if it attached itself to me around 7th grade or if it was lying dormant before that point. Either way, I don't know where it came from or how to get rid of it. It's genuinely taken so much from me even besides making me want to become a transvestite, I have to take extremely powerful psychotropic medications to calm down the irrational and undirected rage I feel when it takes over without the medications. To put it in simple terms, it wants to "rape, kill, and destroy everyone and everything" out of nowhere. I don't say that because it's "cool or edgy" or whatever, it's quite frightening but it blocks my access to that worry.

It strikes me that it went away, or was significantly decreased when I was dating Meursault. I really did want to be his wife and still love him... but the evil attachment took over and tried to possess me again. It creates a problem and tries to position a false solution to the problem it creates. I recently told someone else close to me that I would receive vauge imprintings of messages from it when I would rock back and forth ("stimming") to the point of pseudo-hypnosis. It... really hates innocence and is full of malice and envy. Sometimes this feeling bleeds through me and gives me an emotion I can only describe as "slithering seething" - it feels like what I imagine drives a psychopath to dehumanize others and take advantage of them. I wonder if that's what people sense when they say I'm revolting. Other people here have been lascivious gooners but I seem to get strange comments and genuine hatred instead of mockery. I wonder if I should stop trying to communicate with it. It can't really hurt to try, but I need a push to stop because I'm honestly addicted to letting it melt myself away. The feeling I get from stimming - it goes further than just rocking back and forth - is that dreams and imagination start to bleed through me when they typically don't. It's why I don't read fiction anymore, I can't imagine much of anything without getting the urge to stim.

I don't think I stimmed with my whole torso until it came around. What a coincidence... or is it? I must cease this.
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I've also had experiences with things like this but way less severe. They will try to attack me during my sleep with disturbing or sexual imagery. From the ages of 8 to 12, It would show me horrible things as an attempt to ruin my mental state and make me into some edgelord killer. One particular time it would show me corpses of babies. Their skin would be bluish and covered in bruises, and someone would be holding it up like a box of pizza. It was always a dead baby/fetus with some horrible deformity. After I would have these, I would get extremely paranoid that the corpses would be under my covers and I would touch one by accident. Lately, it has been showing me degenerate sexual imagery as an attempt to turn me into a fat jartycuck gooner. I know that this is some sort of foul spirit since it would show me things like this even when I hadn't seen gore or porn before, yet the imagery was accurate to real life. It goes into hiding during the day so I have no chance to rid it from my soul like you do. I sort of use slopjaks as a way to humiliate evil spirits, especially now that I recognize the things attacking me.
They hold up phones displaying degenerate imagery, they mutilate themselves, and they look inhumanly ugly. They are a representation of evil in soyjak form.
full
 
Thank you for the advice!
Swarthy said:
You should probably isolate yourself from social media or your electronics and spend your time praying. It seems like the "attachment's" behaviors get worse when you're around degenerate slop, which is extremely common on the internet. Evil spirits want humans to be afraid of them and take them seriously, and evil spirits are extremely terrified of any Christian symbolism or imagery. As for the "stimming" part, try to not engage in things that are entertaining to you. Eat food that is nutritious, but plain and bland, and like I said before, spend a lot of your time praying. This is the last thing these evil spirits want, and it will not be easy. In fact, it might be painful, but it could help you in some way or completely cure you.
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Yeah, I think the stimming trance might decrease the effectiveness of prayer to the point of making it nearly useless. I think once I'm free from this for a few days then I will try to pray against the spirit. I've been trying to eat less sugary/sloppy/fast-digesting things in general but that was to balance my hormones, I guess this gives me extra motivation. I'm not sure if I should cut out entertainment in general though, I think the problem with the trance is that it connected me to some sort of strange false reality where I would literally hum without realizing it (my father pointed this out). I think the soysphere isn't too bad for healing because we generally have a hard stance against transgenderism.
Swarthy said:
They will try to attack me during my sleep with disturbing or sexual imagery. From the ages of 8 to 12, It would show me horrible things as an attempt to ruin my mental state and make me into some edgelord killer. One particular time it would show me corpses of babies. Their skin would be bluish and covered in bruises, and someone would be holding it up like a box of pizza. It was always a dead baby/fetus with some horrible deformity. After I would have these, I would get extremely paranoid that the corpses would be under my covers and I would touch one by accident. Lately, it has been showing me degenerate sexual imagery as an attempt to turn me into a fat jartycuck gooner. I know that this is some sort of foul spirit since it would show me things like this even when I hadn't seen gore or porn before, yet the imagery was accurate to real life. It goes into hiding during the day so I have no chance to rid it from my soul like you do.
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Terrifying. I sometimes feel anxious when sleeping despite the dreams themselves being mundane or even pleasant. I haven't had a legitimate nightmare in a long time, but I'm sorry that the spirits attack you with that sort of filth.
Swarthy said:
I sort of use slopjaks as a way to humiliate evil spirits, especially now that I recognize the things attacking me.
They hold up phones displaying degenerate imagery, they mutilate themselves, and they look inhumanly ugly. They are a representation of evil in soyjak form.
Click to expand...
The big slopjak rapes the small slopjak when it talks. No but really, that's an interesting connection.
 
Soyteen Liker said:
I think the soysphere isn't too bad for healing because we generally have a hard stance against transgenderism.
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TSMT, I will never understand why the soysphere has never considered actually helping white men onto not falling for sexually degenerate conducts.
Yes, he's a disgusting tranny, but he shouldn't ack himself, you're literally advocating for white genocide, transgenderism is curable, we should give it a try.
 
Iberius said:
TSMT, I will never understand why the soysphere has never considered actually helping white men onto not falling for sexually degenerate conducts.
Yes, he's a disgusting tranny, but he shouldn't ack himself, you're literally advocating for white genocide, transgenderism is curable, we should give it a try.
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it's hard to reach deep enough into one's life through the internet the get the leverage needed to unfuck somebody
 
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