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- 3,800
reddit meme thread now
/calm/ Let's create a Soytan fanfiction together
- Thread starter Zondien
- Start date
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2024
- Messages
- 6,362
Steve cleans it up since he's a janny
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2024
- Messages
- 347
You wake up. You're in the hospital. There's a tube going down your throat and your stomach hurts like shit, but other than that you seem normal. Half the hospital looks like it was bombed by Israelis, which is getting you most worried. Where's Soytan? Some doctor with "Coinjak" on his nametag opens your door, and says,
"Ah, I see you came out of the brapcoma! Yesh, yesh, terrorist attack from the Jarty I see. Had to pump the jartytoxin out I hear."
You immediately rip the tube out of your throat, coughing up a bit of blood, saying,
"Oh my Zelensky, is Soytan okay? Where is xhe? Please, can I see 'tanny 'tan??!!?!?!?"
Coinjak with his mouthbreathing grin pauses for a bit, and says,
"Oh, oh! Very sorry to break the newsh, but uhhh... well we found Soytan dying on the sidewalk off a heckin internal bleeding-erino. L-like a heckin' brick from construction just fell right on xer. We, we uh managed to transplant the brain such to give a wholesome haver of bibisi a second chance at life, but umm, uhh, fuck..."
Coinjak pauses.
No. Please tell me Soytan is okay.
"W-well we got Floydtan to say xer first words, damn hypoxshia hit like a bitch so all she could talk about was fryin' chickensh I hear. A-and then some crazy bashtard started firing a tank at us! Took out the morgue, and killed poor Laquarius Chicken too."
Coinjak weeps
"F-fu-fuck I was going to make Laquarius my future husband, I hoped. And those bashtards killed my shecond pick Floydson Jones too... Oh yeah, and Soy-floydtan was'h blown to shreds, direct hit and shit right in the lungsh."
No, no no no no no.
"A-and then that tank-toting bashtard blashted a hole in the sewers next 'ta the morgue, a-and I swear to Soot this Mexshican lardball came out and started brapping everywhere, I smell. Had'da call hazmat over the shtank. And y'know, then fingerboysh broke outta the hole like Hell was full and then, ate everything in the morgue 'cause a nigga can't live off bugs forever.
No, no, this can't be, no, no, nononono NO NO NO NO.
Coinjak seems to be smiling again some bit, and continues
"Yesh, even soytan. Fat fucksh didn't stop there, all them fingertroons climbed up and shtarted eating poor Floyd's charred scrapsh. So, I, I don't reckon Soytan's fine. Anything I know, I don't think a single atom knowable as Soytan even exists anymore. Can't even clone her no more 'cause all the DNA evidence is'sa ruined."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! TANNY TAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You start screaming harder than the time they discontinued your favorite Marvel kino. You claw at your eyes. Coinjak looks the same as when he walked in, with that half-agape face of his. It's like he doesn't even give a shit to your plight.
"Hey, do you, need a therapisht? We, we are sorry for your lossh."
Your anguish is unknowable, and your vocal chords are already raw from crying. Your cock is receding into your body. It shrinks into a clitty. Then into a single quark. Then your dick is nothing. Your cock shrinks so much it goes the opposite direction and turns to antimatter. The antimatter carves a neovagina where your groin used to be. Blood and undigested chyme leaks out of your new pussy.
Coinjak stops looking so happy, and starts looking more scared.
"Oh shhhhhhit, I- holy shhhitt, oh, oh fuck, oh Soot don't tell me the jartytoxin reactivated."
Your stomach becomes bloated. Clothes begin to snap, and you are left wearing tattered shitstained rags. Your flesh begins to blacken and bubble. Awards start sprouting on your skin, bringing you great pain as the badges burst out and leave sores.
But for all that consumed your mind at the moment was Soytan and her fate, and such a thought overgrew your mind, overwrote it, consumed you. Your own free will becomes lost, you lose grip on your own mind. Through no voluntary action of yourself, you start singing;
"Oh I'm a jartycuck, yes I'm a jartycuck, oh I'm a discord tranny nigger shitskin jartycuck."
Those are your final conscious words before you subsume to your fate as a blithering brown gooning mass of retardation. The doctors see the state you're in, and conclude you're braindead and far beyond saving. You're shot dead. The fingerboys crawl up and start devouring your corpse, then they explode from obesity.
Maybe you'll see Soytan in niggerhell, but Kurzgesagt debunked the afterlife. Your legacy now is a puddle of rotten vantablack goo that is quickly jannied, pronto to be forgotten about by the end of the hour. Nobody even bothered to put up a gravestone, for you had already died a long time ago.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
"Ah, I see you came out of the brapcoma! Yesh, yesh, terrorist attack from the Jarty I see. Had to pump the jartytoxin out I hear."
You immediately rip the tube out of your throat, coughing up a bit of blood, saying,
"Oh my Zelensky, is Soytan okay? Where is xhe? Please, can I see 'tanny 'tan??!!?!?!?"
Coinjak with his mouthbreathing grin pauses for a bit, and says,
"Oh, oh! Very sorry to break the newsh, but uhhh... well we found Soytan dying on the sidewalk off a heckin internal bleeding-erino. L-like a heckin' brick from construction just fell right on xer. We, we uh managed to transplant the brain such to give a wholesome haver of bibisi a second chance at life, but umm, uhh, fuck..."
Coinjak pauses.
No. Please tell me Soytan is okay.
"W-well we got Floydtan to say xer first words, damn hypoxshia hit like a bitch so all she could talk about was fryin' chickensh I hear. A-and then some crazy bashtard started firing a tank at us! Took out the morgue, and killed poor Laquarius Chicken too."
Coinjak weeps
"F-fu-fuck I was going to make Laquarius my future husband, I hoped. And those bashtards killed my shecond pick Floydson Jones too... Oh yeah, and Soy-floydtan was'h blown to shreds, direct hit and shit right in the lungsh."
No, no no no no no.
"A-and then that tank-toting bashtard blashted a hole in the sewers next 'ta the morgue, a-and I swear to Soot this Mexshican lardball came out and started brapping everywhere, I smell. Had'da call hazmat over the shtank. And y'know, then fingerboysh broke outta the hole like Hell was full and then, ate everything in the morgue 'cause a nigga can't live off bugs forever.
No, no, this can't be, no, no, nononono NO NO NO NO.
Coinjak seems to be smiling again some bit, and continues
"Yesh, even soytan. Fat fucksh didn't stop there, all them fingertroons climbed up and shtarted eating poor Floyd's charred scrapsh. So, I, I don't reckon Soytan's fine. Anything I know, I don't think a single atom knowable as Soytan even exists anymore. Can't even clone her no more 'cause all the DNA evidence is'sa ruined."
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! TANNY TAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You start screaming harder than the time they discontinued your favorite Marvel kino. You claw at your eyes. Coinjak looks the same as when he walked in, with that half-agape face of his. It's like he doesn't even give a shit to your plight.
"Hey, do you, need a therapisht? We, we are sorry for your lossh."
Your anguish is unknowable, and your vocal chords are already raw from crying. Your cock is receding into your body. It shrinks into a clitty. Then into a single quark. Then your dick is nothing. Your cock shrinks so much it goes the opposite direction and turns to antimatter. The antimatter carves a neovagina where your groin used to be. Blood and undigested chyme leaks out of your new pussy.
Coinjak stops looking so happy, and starts looking more scared.
"Oh shhhhhhit, I- holy shhhitt, oh, oh fuck, oh Soot don't tell me the jartytoxin reactivated."
Your stomach becomes bloated. Clothes begin to snap, and you are left wearing tattered shitstained rags. Your flesh begins to blacken and bubble. Awards start sprouting on your skin, bringing you great pain as the badges burst out and leave sores.
But for all that consumed your mind at the moment was Soytan and her fate, and such a thought overgrew your mind, overwrote it, consumed you. Your own free will becomes lost, you lose grip on your own mind. Through no voluntary action of yourself, you start singing;
"Oh I'm a jartycuck, yes I'm a jartycuck, oh I'm a discord tranny nigger shitskin jartycuck."
Those are your final conscious words before you subsume to your fate as a blithering brown gooning mass of retardation. The doctors see the state you're in, and conclude you're braindead and far beyond saving. You're shot dead. The fingerboys crawl up and start devouring your corpse, then they explode from obesity.
Maybe you'll see Soytan in niggerhell, but Kurzgesagt debunked the afterlife. Your legacy now is a puddle of rotten vantablack goo that is quickly jannied, pronto to be forgotten about by the end of the hour. Nobody even bothered to put up a gravestone, for you had already died a long time ago.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
ukrainian_chad
Certified demonic nigger, black devil
- Joined
- Jul 13, 2024
- Messages
- 3,541
sage all fields even the password
B_B_GHAST
B_B_GHAST
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2024
- Messages
- 101
coal bc of fpe. iron bc of soytan
