Schizo Chesnaught's Journal

[Chesnaught]

Maybe tomorrow.

 

[Chesnaught]

What's there to say?

 

[Alabama Penis Man]

You think  your weekend was bad? Buddy, you dont even know.

Have you ever been walking along a path, saying to yourself
>Goddamn, I'm pretty hungry. You know what would hit the spot? A nut. Preferably of the chest variety. And preferably about 7 feet tall, with a face, and massive spikes on its back, so I can talk to it and not be lonely anymore.
And then everyone laughed at you because you said it out loud in the middle of Honors Pre-Calculus, and you noticed your pants were around your ankles. And then you woke up in your bed, and noticed the gigantic killer nut in your bed next to you, asking if it was as good for you as it was for it.

Don't lie, you know it was.

 

[Alabama Penis Man]

You think  your weekend was bad? Buddy, you dont even know.

Have you ever been walking along a path, saying to yourself
>Goddamn, I'm pretty hungry. You know what would hit the spot? A nut. Preferably of the chest variety. And preferably about 7 feet tall, with a face, and massive spikes on its back, so I can talk to it and not be lonely anymore.
And then everyone laughed at you because you said it out loud in the middle of Honors Pre-Calculus, and you noticed your pants were around your ankles. And then you woke up in your bed, and noticed the gigantic killer nut in your bed next to you, asking if it was as good for you as it was for it.

Don't lie, you know it was.

Now, has this situation ever happened to anyone? ...maybe. I designed it to be hypothetical, but I know at least one of you will be jumping up and down, pointing at your screen and yelling at your mom to come take a picture, that way it will last longer. Well enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, Chud, before you go back to the cold crushing isolation of anonymity.
Unfortunately for the rest of (You), the description of the giant killer nut still rings true, because today we are talking about @Chesnaught . And don't even try and argue with me, because I'm right. My online college degree says so. Also, because Chesnaught clearly looks like Godzilla carved a hole in a chestnut and fucked it. I cannot accurately describe the sensation, but I can only imagine that it somewhat resembles the sensation of sticking your dick in a Cheerio, while several thousand tranime weebscum run around in circles below you, always moving their mouths as if they were talking ev&doe no words are coming out. Also, because it's Japan, I imagine half of them are taking extreme close-ups and posting them to the Internet for other tranime weebscum to goon to later, but that's hardly worth being mentioned anymore, since damn near everything in Japan is subject to the same fate.

 

[PepsiMan]

Chew gum

 

[Alabama Penis Man]

Now, has this situation ever happened to anyone? ...maybe. I designed it to be hypothetical, but I know at least one of you will be jumping up and down, pointing at your screen and yelling at your mom to come take a picture, that way it will last longer. Well enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, Chud, before you go back to the cold crushing isolation of anonymity.
Unfortunately for the rest of (You), the description of the giant killer nut still rings true, because today we are talking about @Chesnaught . And don't even try and argue with me, because I'm right. My online college degree says so. Also, because Chesnaught clearly looks like Godzilla carved a hole in a chestnut and fucked it. I cannot accurately describe the sensation, but I can only imagine that it somewhat resembles the sensation of sticking your dick in a Cheerio, while several thousand tranime weebscum run around in circles below you, always moving their mouths as if they were talking ev&doe no words are coming out. Also, because it's Japan, I imagine half of them are taking extreme close-ups and posting them to the Internet for other tranime weebscum to goon to later, but that's hardly worth being mentioned anymore, since damn near everything in Japan is subject to the same fate.

You ever watch Ed, Edd, n Eddy? Of course you have, because you're a cool guy, and cool guys aren't cool unless they've watched it. I could use a gender-neutral term, but the zoomers love it, so fuck it. You heard it here first, the schlog cares about the children more than anything. Damn zoomers.
Where was I? Oh yeah, the TV show. Anyway, since you're a cool guy, you probably already know that Ed has no neck. Well guess what else has no neck? That's right, it's Chesnaught. Maybe. Idk. They gave me one photo to base the entire description for it on, so I could be wrong. Usually they give me a folder of like 10 or 12 photos, but the interns spent the photo money on New Sproke, and then got eaten by a roaming pack of feral shemmycucks, so we only have the one picture. And in that one photo, it just so happens that it looks like Chesnaught does not have a neck. It has a shell, but then it's head sticks out of that shell at an awkward angle.
Try to imagine, if you will, living your entire life without a neck. Now try to imagine the same thing, except without the inevitability that you will not be able to live anymore, since everything that was supposed to be inside your neck has been pressed right up against your brain stem, making you die an excruciating death. That's what Chesnaught goes through, except for the whole dying thing.