Chorge Floyd
Guest
Everything that will be described in this story is 100% real. All of these events happened. They just did. Fuck you if you suspect me.
My name is Chorge Floyd. I am just your average 2^2^2 year old teen who is OBSESSED with this site called soyjak.blog. Soyjak.blog is a pretty fun site. It's like if you took kiwifarms and soyjak.party and combined them together. I chatted on soyjak.blog almost eveeeryday. I became more and more obsessed with it. My only goal on soyjak.blog was to accumulate 10000 posts. Every night and day, I posted on soyjak.blog. I stopped even posting on soyjak.party. To achieve my goal of accumulating 10000 posts, I kept posting and posting. Everyone at my high school called me a retarded NIGGER! But I knew that I would finally be the king of soyjak.blog at last, and then I'll prove them ALLLLLL WRONG!!!
One night, I was sitting in my room, posting on soyjak.blog as usual, until a weird notification come to my soyjak.blog inbox. It said "Gemerald added you to URGENT!!!!!!!!" I was surprised. What's Urgent? I never knew there were these conversations on here. I clicked the notification and it brought me to a conversation, hidden from plain view. Nobody except the users knew that it existed. It had around 20 users in it. While I was checking this out, my brother came barging into my room.
"Chorge, what the fuck are you doing?"
I gritted my teeth in anger and replied "Can't you see you fucking fucktard retard shitskin obsessed pedo nigger? I'M POSTING ON SOYJAK.BLOG! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
"You have to stop using that fucking site! You are TOO ADDICTED! STOP BEING A DELUSIONAL RETARD!"
I got even angrier, "Delusional? YOU'RE FUCKING DELUSIONAL NIGGER!" and I then proceeded threw my custom orange froot fleshlight at his face. In retrospect, I regret doing that as it made him even more pissed off. He quickly came to me, punched me in the face and took my phone away, proceeding to slam it on the ground and step on it with his massive bigfoot looking feet. I began crying. I cried so much. My cries sounded like a waterfall. I cried and cried. My heart was shattered, destroyed, broken even. I CRIED! I CRIED AND I CRIED! I COULDN'T STOP CRYING! ALL MY HARD WORK TO GET 10000 MESSAGES HAD GONE TO WASTE!
"Chorge, you have to get a reality check!" he stated as he grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the door. However, she let go of me when she noticed that I had begun to glow a bright green color. I felt an urgent desire within me, an urgent desire to-... It was then that I noticed a presence behind me.
"No, it is you who needs to get a reality check, nigger."
It was Gemerald. The man who has created the Urgent groupchat.
My brother got scared. He immediately fainted and his heart immediately stopped beating. He was dead.
"Gemerald?! What are you doing here? Why'd my brother fucking collapse and die? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!"
"Hey nigga, calm down. You are Chorge Floyd, right? The newest member to the Urgentcord? YOu seemed like agood user so I invited you in. Who cares about your brother he was a stupid shitskin nigger anyways."
I was confused in every sense of the world. Why was someone from the schlog here? Why was Gemerald here? Why was it him here? How the fuck did my brother die? How did he come to my house? Is he even human?
"Why'd you come here?"
"Hmm, I didn't want to lose a schlog user I guess. But the real reason is...
You were chosen...
INTO THE Urgentcord."
Urgentcord? What the fuck even was that? Does he mean the conversation?
"What do you mean? Isn't it a conversation?"
"No... and it is not a 'cord either." He snickered at me slyly. "It is a secret organization comprising of only the most active and bestestestest schlog users."
That sounded nice. At least at the time.
To be continued... OR NOT! SIKE!!!! NIGGER!!!! I HATE NIGGERS!!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!
Gemerald took me to the Urgentcord headquarters. He had a mic with him, which he took around 0.3838031083838388383838838388383838838383883 nanoseconds to adjust it next to his face. He then spoke.
"Hello, Urgentcord! Welcome our new member, Chorge Floyd!"
There were many schlog users who I recognized there. Stephen, Xiuhcoyotl, JC Denton, SoytanEnthusiast, Aedra, I can go on and on.
They all welcomed me there.
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
After I said hello to all 22 members of urgentcord, I was given a task by Gemerald. Or rather, a rule. I could not mention Urgentcord outside of the groupchat whatsoever. But he told me tos till be active on the site to not seem suspicious. I agreed.
A day later, I was sitting in the urgentcord headquarters and was talking with a user. He said that most of the users here probably used 'cord. I laughed and said. "If only you knew." He asked what I meant and I said that there is a secret organization and conversation where old and well known members of the community talk and it's called "Urgent." Suddenly, I felt a cold that sent shivers down my spine. The second later, Broot replied to me. 22 nanoseconds later, Froot said. And lastly, at 888888888888888888 zeptoseconds after my message, I saw that DOLL replied to my message. Gemerald immediately came barging into my room.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? YOU'^VE DOOMED US ALL YOU FUCKING DUMB NIGGER! WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET YOU IN! NOW THEY WILL KILL US ALL! THEY WILL DESTROY US! THEY WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING! DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? THIS ENTIRE THING HAS BEEN RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU! I WISH THE WRATH OF THE GODS UPON YOU, YOU ANIMAL!"
"Hey, calm down man. It's just a soyjak site. Nothing bad can happen."
"Nothing bad can happen? YOU'LL FUCKING SEE WHAT BAD CAN HAPPEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 Zeptoseconds later, a knock was heard on the door of the headquarters. Accompanied by another knock. It was then a bang. Then a hit. Then a hit. Then another knock. And lastly...
The doors were kicked in.
Broot and Froot came in screaming. Doll and X Immigrant were behind them.
"GEMERALD! YOU HEATHEN! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT THERE WOULD BE NO MORE CONVERSATIONS?"
"Please, I'm sorry!"
Broot came in and stabbed Gemerald 1488^420^69 times with a rusty butter knife. Gemerald was still alive.
"Please, kill me, but let these nuschloggers stay alive. They don't deserve to be punished for my actions."
"No, all must pay for what you have done. NOW DIE!"
Broot got behind Gemerald in an instant, seeming almost superhuman. He sliced his neck off with a machete, ISIS style. He then stomped his skull until it exploded. He then cut off his body parts and sacrificed them to Moloch. He then cooked the body parts and ate them. After he was done, he lined all of us up.
"Xiuhcoyotl... I thought you were good! But I guess YOU CAN'T TRUST A MEXICAN! NOW DIE NIGGER! FUCKING DIE YOU NIGGER SHITSKIN MXICAN PEDO!' YOU WILL NEVER BE WHITE. FUCKING DIE AND FUCKING GO TO FUCKING HELL."
Broot shot him with a 12 gauge shotgun. He died instantly.
"Stephen... I have nothing to say. Die now."
Broot 720 degree taekwando hurricane ultra mega kicked him and his entire upper body exploded and he died.
"Aedra... I thought I could trust you. I made you a janny on my soy jack site! DIE!"
"Please, Bro-"
As Aedra tried to speak, Broot shot him in the head with a RPG and he died instantly.
"Baqqrih. I also have nothing to say to you. I thought you were a honorable man. Accept your death, and die a honorable death."
Broot nailed Baqqrihs arms and legs into the ground and shot 12 nails into his skull with a nail gun. He died without making a noise. He was a true man til the very end.
"Ashkenazi... DIE NIGGA JEW!"
Broot gassed him and he died.
"SoytanEnthusiast... You're a fucking jartycuck. Die."
Broot killed SOytan enthusiast by stralinging him with a soytan body pillow. He died by what he loved most.
"Incelibate psycho... Fuck you nigger incel retard. You're a bum. Die now."
Broot made incelibate psycho suck his dick and then shot him with a m1 garand. He died.
"Lifesucksthenyoudie... Go back to the booru in hell, nigger."
Broot punched him until he died and he made him eat caricatures of slopjaks until he exploded. He died.
"ILoveVesna... Die you gook nigger shitskin pedo."
Broot called Doll and froot to throw him up into the air. They did with all their strength and broot punched him in teh gut in teh air like Goku punching nappa. He died.
"imfrom8chan... Who the fuck are you nigger"
Broot killed him instantly.
"Hagon... You incel shitskin nigger. You are only 16... It is sad to see you go, but shouldnt have been a cord pedo I guess."
Broot took a large stone and bashed hagons skull in with it. He died.
"WH15KEY... Nigger."
Broot crucified him and burnt the cross. He died.
"Alextremo2TheMaz... You love touhou so your a pedo. Die"
Broot killed him by freezing him to death.
"Brickshithouse... Shemmycuck... Die and burn in hell pedophile."
Broot killed him by drowning him, as all shemmy pedoes deserve.
"GemersonLakeAndPalmer... Damn nigga these songs are ass."
Broot made him listen to emersonlakeandpalmer as he died. He died happily.
"JamalQuintavious... Die"
Broot popped his head like an orange.
"JC Denton... You kafir... I shall behead you."
Broot beheaded him with a sharp machete. He died instantly and went to hell because he didn't follow sand religion correctly.
My name is Chorge Floyd. I am just your average 2^2^2 year old teen who is OBSESSED with this site called soyjak.blog. Soyjak.blog is a pretty fun site. It's like if you took kiwifarms and soyjak.party and combined them together. I chatted on soyjak.blog almost eveeeryday. I became more and more obsessed with it. My only goal on soyjak.blog was to accumulate 10000 posts. Every night and day, I posted on soyjak.blog. I stopped even posting on soyjak.party. To achieve my goal of accumulating 10000 posts, I kept posting and posting. Everyone at my high school called me a retarded NIGGER! But I knew that I would finally be the king of soyjak.blog at last, and then I'll prove them ALLLLLL WRONG!!!
One night, I was sitting in my room, posting on soyjak.blog as usual, until a weird notification come to my soyjak.blog inbox. It said "Gemerald added you to URGENT!!!!!!!!" I was surprised. What's Urgent? I never knew there were these conversations on here. I clicked the notification and it brought me to a conversation, hidden from plain view. Nobody except the users knew that it existed. It had around 20 users in it. While I was checking this out, my brother came barging into my room.
"Chorge, what the fuck are you doing?"
I gritted my teeth in anger and replied "Can't you see you fucking fucktard retard shitskin obsessed pedo nigger? I'M POSTING ON SOYJAK.BLOG! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
"You have to stop using that fucking site! You are TOO ADDICTED! STOP BEING A DELUSIONAL RETARD!"
I got even angrier, "Delusional? YOU'RE FUCKING DELUSIONAL NIGGER!" and I then proceeded threw my custom orange froot fleshlight at his face. In retrospect, I regret doing that as it made him even more pissed off. He quickly came to me, punched me in the face and took my phone away, proceeding to slam it on the ground and step on it with his massive bigfoot looking feet. I began crying. I cried so much. My cries sounded like a waterfall. I cried and cried. My heart was shattered, destroyed, broken even. I CRIED! I CRIED AND I CRIED! I COULDN'T STOP CRYING! ALL MY HARD WORK TO GET 10000 MESSAGES HAD GONE TO WASTE!
"Chorge, you have to get a reality check!" he stated as he grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the door. However, she let go of me when she noticed that I had begun to glow a bright green color. I felt an urgent desire within me, an urgent desire to-... It was then that I noticed a presence behind me.
"No, it is you who needs to get a reality check, nigger."
It was Gemerald. The man who has created the Urgent groupchat.
My brother got scared. He immediately fainted and his heart immediately stopped beating. He was dead.
"Gemerald?! What are you doing here? Why'd my brother fucking collapse and die? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!"
"Hey nigga, calm down. You are Chorge Floyd, right? The newest member to the Urgentcord? YOu seemed like agood user so I invited you in. Who cares about your brother he was a stupid shitskin nigger anyways."
I was confused in every sense of the world. Why was someone from the schlog here? Why was Gemerald here? Why was it him here? How the fuck did my brother die? How did he come to my house? Is he even human?
"Why'd you come here?"
"Hmm, I didn't want to lose a schlog user I guess. But the real reason is...
You were chosen...
INTO THE Urgentcord."
Urgentcord? What the fuck even was that? Does he mean the conversation?
"What do you mean? Isn't it a conversation?"
"No... and it is not a 'cord either." He snickered at me slyly. "It is a secret organization comprising of only the most active and bestestestest schlog users."
That sounded nice. At least at the time.
To be continued... OR NOT! SIKE!!!! NIGGER!!!! I HATE NIGGERS!!!! GRAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!
Gemerald took me to the Urgentcord headquarters. He had a mic with him, which he took around 0.3838031083838388383838838388383838838383883 nanoseconds to adjust it next to his face. He then spoke.
"Hello, Urgentcord! Welcome our new member, Chorge Floyd!"
There were many schlog users who I recognized there. Stephen, Xiuhcoyotl, JC Denton, SoytanEnthusiast, Aedra, I can go on and on.
They all welcomed me there.
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
"Hello."
After I said hello to all 22 members of urgentcord, I was given a task by Gemerald. Or rather, a rule. I could not mention Urgentcord outside of the groupchat whatsoever. But he told me tos till be active on the site to not seem suspicious. I agreed.
A day later, I was sitting in the urgentcord headquarters and was talking with a user. He said that most of the users here probably used 'cord. I laughed and said. "If only you knew." He asked what I meant and I said that there is a secret organization and conversation where old and well known members of the community talk and it's called "Urgent." Suddenly, I felt a cold that sent shivers down my spine. The second later, Broot replied to me. 22 nanoseconds later, Froot said. And lastly, at 888888888888888888 zeptoseconds after my message, I saw that DOLL replied to my message. Gemerald immediately came barging into my room.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? YOU'^VE DOOMED US ALL YOU FUCKING DUMB NIGGER! WE SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET YOU IN! NOW THEY WILL KILL US ALL! THEY WILL DESTROY US! THEY WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING! DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? THIS ENTIRE THING HAS BEEN RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU! I WISH THE WRATH OF THE GODS UPON YOU, YOU ANIMAL!"
"Hey, calm down man. It's just a soyjak site. Nothing bad can happen."
"Nothing bad can happen? YOU'LL FUCKING SEE WHAT BAD CAN HAPPEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888 Zeptoseconds later, a knock was heard on the door of the headquarters. Accompanied by another knock. It was then a bang. Then a hit. Then a hit. Then another knock. And lastly...
The doors were kicked in.
Broot and Froot came in screaming. Doll and X Immigrant were behind them.
"GEMERALD! YOU HEATHEN! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? I THOUGHT WE AGREED THAT THERE WOULD BE NO MORE CONVERSATIONS?"
"Please, I'm sorry!"
Broot came in and stabbed Gemerald 1488^420^69 times with a rusty butter knife. Gemerald was still alive.
"Please, kill me, but let these nuschloggers stay alive. They don't deserve to be punished for my actions."
"No, all must pay for what you have done. NOW DIE!"
Broot got behind Gemerald in an instant, seeming almost superhuman. He sliced his neck off with a machete, ISIS style. He then stomped his skull until it exploded. He then cut off his body parts and sacrificed them to Moloch. He then cooked the body parts and ate them. After he was done, he lined all of us up.
"Xiuhcoyotl... I thought you were good! But I guess YOU CAN'T TRUST A MEXICAN! NOW DIE NIGGER! FUCKING DIE YOU NIGGER SHITSKIN MXICAN PEDO!' YOU WILL NEVER BE WHITE. FUCKING DIE AND FUCKING GO TO FUCKING HELL."
Broot shot him with a 12 gauge shotgun. He died instantly.
"Stephen... I have nothing to say. Die now."
Broot 720 degree taekwando hurricane ultra mega kicked him and his entire upper body exploded and he died.
"Aedra... I thought I could trust you. I made you a janny on my soy jack site! DIE!"
"Please, Bro-"
As Aedra tried to speak, Broot shot him in the head with a RPG and he died instantly.
"Baqqrih. I also have nothing to say to you. I thought you were a honorable man. Accept your death, and die a honorable death."
Broot nailed Baqqrihs arms and legs into the ground and shot 12 nails into his skull with a nail gun. He died without making a noise. He was a true man til the very end.
"Ashkenazi... DIE NIGGA JEW!"
Broot gassed him and he died.
"SoytanEnthusiast... You're a fucking jartycuck. Die."
Broot killed SOytan enthusiast by stralinging him with a soytan body pillow. He died by what he loved most.
"Incelibate psycho... Fuck you nigger incel retard. You're a bum. Die now."
Broot made incelibate psycho suck his dick and then shot him with a m1 garand. He died.
"Lifesucksthenyoudie... Go back to the booru in hell, nigger."
Broot punched him until he died and he made him eat caricatures of slopjaks until he exploded. He died.
"ILoveVesna... Die you gook nigger shitskin pedo."
Broot called Doll and froot to throw him up into the air. They did with all their strength and broot punched him in teh gut in teh air like Goku punching nappa. He died.
"imfrom8chan... Who the fuck are you nigger"
Broot killed him instantly.
"Hagon... You incel shitskin nigger. You are only 16... It is sad to see you go, but shouldnt have been a cord pedo I guess."
Broot took a large stone and bashed hagons skull in with it. He died.
"WH15KEY... Nigger."
Broot crucified him and burnt the cross. He died.
"Alextremo2TheMaz... You love touhou so your a pedo. Die"
Broot killed him by freezing him to death.
"Brickshithouse... Shemmycuck... Die and burn in hell pedophile."
Broot killed him by drowning him, as all shemmy pedoes deserve.
"GemersonLakeAndPalmer... Damn nigga these songs are ass."
Broot made him listen to emersonlakeandpalmer as he died. He died happily.
"JamalQuintavious... Die"
Broot popped his head like an orange.
"JC Denton... You kafir... I shall behead you."
Broot beheaded him with a sharp machete. He died instantly and went to hell because he didn't follow sand religion correctly.
