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Schizo My autoandrophilia/pooner urges [REVAMPED INTRO]

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Soyteen Liker said:
Oh my fauci my thread got unlocked [wholesome]
Recently I've been considering playing stereotypical teen boy games when I get my laptop because the idea makes me excited. Yet, this excitement comes with a weird flavor of anxiety too. I'm not sure why, the way I described it was that "I feel like I'd taint any masculine interest I'd touch" but it feels like there's more to it than that.

I think my AAPself has AGP as dumb as that sounds. I wish I was joking. It feels like "he" wants to be a girl, but mostly for sexual reasons. Sometimes it takes over fully because when I was 13 I suddenly felt a full-on female mental shift and stopped being a pooner, at least on the surface. "He" sometimes communicates feelings to me because I can't really feel them. It's like there's a barrier between us and some data gets lost.

I hope I can appease "him" somehow. [wholesome]
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have you tried going to the gym and keeping your emotions to yourself
 
Soyteen Liker said:
Mom wouldn't buy me dumbbells over 5lbs, she's too busy to take to the gym and also most home exercises without dummbells hurt really badly it hurts
Thanks for the recommendations albeit [wholesome]
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>Mom wouldn't buy me dumbbells over 5lbs
shit why not?
>most home exercises without dummbells hurt really badly
maybe that's just you, I've done some home exercises in the past they never really hurt me.
>too busy to take to the gym
missed a word fix it to "too busy to take me to the gym"
seca.png
 
I thought of a potential autismophrenic solution to my AAP. You guys remember how I said my AAPself had AGP? Basically, I might need to know "her" and become "her" or satisfy "his" image of "her" - all I've really "experienced" in regards to "her" (or "his" perception of "her") is that she has large breasts. But my theory is that she'd basically be motivated by wanting feelings of assertiveness and power. She'd basically feel perpetually weak but display none of that in the surface, being admired for being a strong person and never showing weakness. How do I know this is "her" personality/mind/motivation if I've never experienced "her"? Three main reasons.

  • "The sensitive young man to badass confident tranny pipeline" - Okay, now I'm not MtF nor is this a realistic fantasy for them, but I saw a meme like this once. But the main point I'm trying to make is that "he's" (or my perception of "him") is that "he's" basically an nerdy autistic sensitive guy, so he created "her" to cope with "his" feelings of inferiority and pain. "She" is like his ideal self because "he" has a different motivation than me. That brings me to my next point.
  • Occult number system shit - I made a main thread about this but what you need to know, is that this is a theory that people have 1 of 9 motivations. My motivation is fixation 7, blah blah blah, each fixation has a way out of their dissatisfaction known as the point of integration. My point of integration is fixation 5 with coincides with "him", what "he's" like, and his point of integration is fixation 8, which is precisely how I've described "her"
  • "He" is a mommy's girl and wants to be like her - My mom is similar to a much older version of "her" and has the same point of fixation. So, perhaps "she" is like my mom because "he" admires my mom. (Neither me nor "him" are attracted to my mom, it's more like, "he" has taken elements from her to inspire "her")

The main problem with this is that it might become an even more retarded spiral of "Okay, what if my AAPself's AGPself develops an AAPself"? It's quite plausible, especially with how I've thought about this. Not to mention, how the fuck am I supposed to become someone who feels weak but projects an outward aura of strength to the world? Imagine explaining all this to someone and saying that's what you need help with. Maybe it's back to the drawing board, but I thought it was interesting enough to share at least.
 
Soyteen Liker said:
I thought of a potential autismophrenic solution to my AAP. You guys remember how I said my AAPself had AGP? Basically, I might need to know "her" and become "her" or satisfy "his" image of "her" - all I've really "experienced" in regards to "her" (or "his" perception of "her") is that she has large breasts. But my theory is that she'd basically be motivated by wanting feelings of assertiveness and power. She'd basically feel perpetually weak but display none of that in the surface, being admired for being a strong person and never showing weakness. How do I know this is "her" personality/mind/motivation if I've never experienced "her"? Three main reasons.

  • "The sensitive young man to badass confident tranny pipeline" - Okay, now I'm not MtF nor is this a realistic fantasy for them, but I saw a meme like this once. But the main point I'm trying to make is that "he's" (or my perception of "him") is that "he's" basically an nerdy autistic sensitive guy, so he created "her" to cope with "his" feelings of inferiority and pain. "She" is like his ideal self because "he" has a different motivation than me. That brings me to my next point.
  • Occult number system shit - I made a main thread about this but what you need to know, is that this is a theory that people have 1 of 9 motivations. My motivation is fixation 7, blah blah blah, each fixation has a way out of their dissatisfaction known as the point of integration. My point of integration is fixation 5 with coincides with "him", what "he's" like, and his point of integration is fixation 8, which is precisely how I've described "her"
  • "He" is a mommy's girl and wants to be like her - My mom is similar to a much older version of "her" and has the same point of fixation. So, perhaps "she" is like my mom because "he" admires my mom. (Neither me nor "him" are attracted to my mom, it's more like, "he" has taken elements from her to inspire "her")

The main problem with this is that it might become an even more retarded spiral of "Okay, what if my AAPself's AGPself develops an AAPself"? It's quite plausible, especially with how I've thought about this. Not to mention, how the fuck am I supposed to become someone who feels weak but projects an outward aura of strength to the world? Imagine explaining all this to someone and saying that's what you need help with. Maybe it's back to the drawing board, but I thought it was interesting enough to share at least.
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How about you just be normal
 
AGP seems very different from AAP. Tbh, my AGP did not result in any form of Autoandrophobia or "Gender Dysphoria" for me, it is purely sexual for me. Usually get AGP thoughts when my mind is adrift and then get aroused and then feel an immense shame in the said arousal. There really isn't an "inner female" for me. I don't think they're that comparable (read the thread award)
 
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