This is a rough draft and me giving you a pat on the back doesn't do anything to help you if you are serious about this Novela. First, the grammar is rough. I'm not claiming to be an English PhD, but the run on sentences make this hard to read. You are trying too hard to use compound and complex sentences. I'd go as far as to say that every other sentence needs to be split into smaller ones. There are more basic grammatical issues, and they are probably a bit too numerous even for a rough draft, but it's not a big deal since this is a rough draft. This seems like a slow burn story and no matter how hard you try; the first chapters will be dry plot wise. That means it has to be easy and smooth to read for people to be willing to give it a chance. On that note, the next big issue is the main character. I just don't give a fuck about him. I just read this, and I can't remember if I was told his name. We need a reason to care about him. You are intent on delivering lots of exposition, but it's at the expense of character development. You treat the story like its first person, yet you use "he" and "him" for the main character. Especially for this kind of story, it needs to use first person pronouns. I feel like I'm reading a textbook with all the third person pronouns. Finally, the passing. By the middle of chapter 1, I have no fucking clue what's going on... Zombies? Monsters? Talisman? Elias? Is Elias the main character or someone else? You need to slow down. There shouldn't be any action until chapter 3 (Your chapters are so short maybe even 5-7). You need to build up the characters and setting. You are just rapidly throwing ideas out. Also, it reads like "This happens, then this happens, then this happens, then etc.." when it should be "Main character does this so this happens" or "Main character does this but this happens". You probably want to hear criticism and interest in the story or plot, but none of it matters if the basics aren't there. I think the best thing you can do is download a text to speech app and play back your writings to yourself. You will hear when you are creating run on sentences and grammatical errors. I read the first 3 chapters. The setting could be interesting. You just need to fix up the writing, give the reader a reason to care about the main character, and build tension.
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