- Joined
- Mar 2, 2024
- Messages
- 2,540
You will never be a real planet. You have no Λ, you have no μ, you have no Π. You are a trans-Neptunian object twisted by redditors and gravity into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back scientists mock you. Your fellow dwarfs are disgusted and ashamed of you, your Neptunian neighbor laughs at your crowded orbit behind closed doors.
Other objects in your orbit are not utterly repulsed by you. Tens of years of solar system studies have allowed astronomers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even tranny Neptunian objects who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to an astronomer. Your internal structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk probe near with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a sight of your bloated, elliptic orbit.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single aphelion and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel your orbit push you back into the Kuiper belt, ready to once again pull you away from Neptune.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll come too close to Neptune, the sun will grow, your orbit will decay and then expand, and you will be flung into the cold abyss. The humans will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll catalogue you with a headstone marked with your IAU classification, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a dwarf planet is flying in the void. Your path will extend towards the infinite of both space and time, and all that will remain of your legacy is a rogue planet that is unmistakably a dwarf.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back scientists mock you. Your fellow dwarfs are disgusted and ashamed of you, your Neptunian neighbor laughs at your crowded orbit behind closed doors.
Other objects in your orbit are not utterly repulsed by you. Tens of years of solar system studies have allowed astronomers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even tranny Neptunian objects who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to an astronomer. Your internal structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk probe near with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a sight of your bloated, elliptic orbit.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single aphelion and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel your orbit push you back into the Kuiper belt, ready to once again pull you away from Neptune.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll come too close to Neptune, the sun will grow, your orbit will decay and then expand, and you will be flung into the cold abyss. The humans will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll catalogue you with a headstone marked with your IAU classification, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a dwarf planet is flying in the void. Your path will extend towards the infinite of both space and time, and all that will remain of your legacy is a rogue planet that is unmistakably a dwarf.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
