im not really sure what to do, maybe there is something wrong with me and i just dont know what to do or what if is, maybe its just my shitty social skills and im just not applying myself, i see so many people even around just go up to a person they hardly know and just start talking without it seeming awkward or weird. i feel my parents have their own suspicions considering what i talked about earlier this week, and maybe it is just my social skills, but i really dont see a reason to talk to someone outside of family unless i want something, i get you need it for work and to communicate in a professional environment, but i just can't do it without feeling some sort of boredom, or thinking of doing something more productive. if i said yes during that interaction, maybe there would've been a different outcome. but i guess i'll never know, if things don't get any better for i'd say, 3 or 4 years. i might try to get some help with therapy/diagnosis with something
anyways i'm going to sleep, i feel still down over this
